Congratulations to my friend and occasional colleague Sara Schaefer on her new gig writing for BestWeekEver.tv. This is the second time she's been able to quit her soul-crushing corporate job for gainful comedy employment. Some day I hope to know that sweet joy.
In the meantime, you can follow her collected Best Week Ever posts here.
Showing posts with label Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Friday, December 08, 2006
I Am the Ted McGinley of Fake Talk Shows
Flashback to May of last year-- I join the writers/ cast of Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You for the last 6 months of its two-year run. It's one of the more popular (at least, for the size of the venue) comedy shows in the city, and, although talk-show-format stage shows were certainly not a new idea, SSIOWY did it before it became the cliche it now seems to be.
During my time with the show, the success continues. We have one of our biggest guests in Lisa Loeb (and standing backstage listening to her perform "Stay" live, a song that I remember first seeing on MTV in high school, is still one of my most treasured NYC comedy memories). We get considered for the Aspen Comedy Festival, and, though we don't ultimately get called back, it's an honor to have been scouted.
And then the show ends shortly thereafter.
We go out in top form, with a final episode I'm very proud of. Sara goes on to a justly deserved job as a web-host for AOL Music's "The DL" (check it out, people). Fellow writer Amanda goes on to a justly deserved job writing for Greg Giraldo (although she's currently free--hire her, people!). Kara Lee departs for new horizons in L.A. And Patrick continues in his day job as Conan O'Brian's personal assistant. And I go on to...
The Primetime Kalan-- another live talk show, hosted by Daily Show associate producer Elliott Kalan. It was originally conceived as an unwritten midnight talk show. With the move to an earlier hour, Elliott decided to tighten things up with more pre-written bits, and kindly asked me to join. Much fun is had, particularly due to the never ending stream of Daily Show guests, courtesy of Elliott's delightfully shameless connection-pimping.
I stay with this show for about nine months of its two year run.
And it's ending. Next weekend.
Clearly, something is happening here. I am forced to come to the conclusion that I am the Ted McGinley of Fake Talk Shows-- Ted, of course, being "the patron saint of shark jumping." My presence apparently marks some sort of death knell for semi-successful basement-comedy-talk-programs. On the bright side, my staying power seems to be gradually increasing. When I join the cast of Late Night With Jon Kingman is Obsessed With Being Primetime, I may even make it a whole year before bumping the thing off.
"The McGin" -- just, you know, hangin'
On the other hand, perhaps I'm misreading the situation. Perhaps I am not the Ted McGinley of stage talk shows, but merely the Cousin Oliver-- perhaps I'm the guy brought on in a last ditch attempt to revitalize a slumping show by virtue of my adorableness and ability to bring in a wider audience. That audience being, specifically, my college friends who live in the NYC area. Hey, that extra 20 people is nothing to be sneezed at!
Either way, next time I hope to get paid.
During my time with the show, the success continues. We have one of our biggest guests in Lisa Loeb (and standing backstage listening to her perform "Stay" live, a song that I remember first seeing on MTV in high school, is still one of my most treasured NYC comedy memories). We get considered for the Aspen Comedy Festival, and, though we don't ultimately get called back, it's an honor to have been scouted.
And then the show ends shortly thereafter.
We go out in top form, with a final episode I'm very proud of. Sara goes on to a justly deserved job as a web-host for AOL Music's "The DL" (check it out, people). Fellow writer Amanda goes on to a justly deserved job writing for Greg Giraldo (although she's currently free--hire her, people!). Kara Lee departs for new horizons in L.A. And Patrick continues in his day job as Conan O'Brian's personal assistant. And I go on to...
The Primetime Kalan-- another live talk show, hosted by Daily Show associate producer Elliott Kalan. It was originally conceived as an unwritten midnight talk show. With the move to an earlier hour, Elliott decided to tighten things up with more pre-written bits, and kindly asked me to join. Much fun is had, particularly due to the never ending stream of Daily Show guests, courtesy of Elliott's delightfully shameless connection-pimping.
I stay with this show for about nine months of its two year run.
And it's ending. Next weekend.
Clearly, something is happening here. I am forced to come to the conclusion that I am the Ted McGinley of Fake Talk Shows-- Ted, of course, being "the patron saint of shark jumping." My presence apparently marks some sort of death knell for semi-successful basement-comedy-talk-programs. On the bright side, my staying power seems to be gradually increasing. When I join the cast of Late Night With Jon Kingman is Obsessed With Being Primetime, I may even make it a whole year before bumping the thing off.
"The McGin" -- just, you know, hangin'
On the other hand, perhaps I'm misreading the situation. Perhaps I am not the Ted McGinley of stage talk shows, but merely the Cousin Oliver-- perhaps I'm the guy brought on in a last ditch attempt to revitalize a slumping show by virtue of my adorableness and ability to bring in a wider audience. That audience being, specifically, my college friends who live in the NYC area. Hey, that extra 20 people is nothing to be sneezed at!
Either way, next time I hope to get paid.
Monday, September 18, 2006
See Me in Video Gaga This Wednesday
Hey folks-- so I'll be making some sort of appearance at this week's Video Gaga at the Upright Citizen's Brigade Theater. I'm not entirely sure what I'll be doing (preparation! yeah!), but the show will reunite me with my former fake boss (and current AOL music correspondent) Sara Schaefer. It's like a Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You reunion... except Amanda and Kara Lee won't be there... or Patrick... oh, and the concept of the whole show is completely different. On second thought, it's more like when Susanne Pleshette showed up on Newhart.
And, yes, in this scenerio, I'm Susanne Pleshette. How can you pass that up?
Video Gaga
Musical Guest: The Undisputed Heavyweights
Wed., September 20, 9:30 pm
@ The Upright Citizen's Brigade Theater
307 West 26th Street, Manhattan
Tix: $5
And, yes, in this scenerio, I'm Susanne Pleshette. How can you pass that up?
Video Gaga
Musical Guest: The Undisputed Heavyweights
Wed., September 20, 9:30 pm
@ The Upright Citizen's Brigade Theater
307 West 26th Street, Manhattan
Tix: $5
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
SSIOWY Reunion!
Big news, people. I'll turn it over to Schaefes to tell you in her own words, because I'm lazy:
"Hello friends!
This Friday, The Wiener Philharmonic graciously shares their stage with me! I will host a super special reunion special of my show, 'Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You'! The SSIOWY cast/writers will meet on stage for the first time in four months! Come find out where are they now, and if they plan on making an SSIOWY movie! Special guests include members of the Wiener Philharmonic, a hither-to-unnamed musical guest, and as always, a star of Law & Order! All the great things you've come to expect from SSIOWY, except now smothered in buttery nostalgia, Paula Deen style.
Friday, March 10, 8:00pm, $8
The People's Improv Theatre
154 W. 29th Street (6th and 7th Ave)
2,3,9,B,D,F,V,N,Q,R,W,A,C,E to 34th St."
That's right-- we only stopped doing the show four months ago, and now we're back for an all-new special. Can "A Very Sara Schaefer Christmas" and "It's Arbor Day, Sara Schaefer!" be far behind?
Will there be anything in the reunion to approach the hilarity of this photo of Dan and Sara sharing a drink from a giant goblet? You'll have to see the show to find out...
"Hello friends!
This Friday, The Wiener Philharmonic graciously shares their stage with me! I will host a super special reunion special of my show, 'Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You'! The SSIOWY cast/writers will meet on stage for the first time in four months! Come find out where are they now, and if they plan on making an SSIOWY movie! Special guests include members of the Wiener Philharmonic, a hither-to-unnamed musical guest, and as always, a star of Law & Order! All the great things you've come to expect from SSIOWY, except now smothered in buttery nostalgia, Paula Deen style.
Friday, March 10, 8:00pm, $8
The People's Improv Theatre
154 W. 29th Street (6th and 7th Ave)
2,3,9,B,D,F,V,N,Q,R,W,A,C,E to 34th St."
That's right-- we only stopped doing the show four months ago, and now we're back for an all-new special. Can "A Very Sara Schaefer Christmas" and "It's Arbor Day, Sara Schaefer!" be far behind?
Will there be anything in the reunion to approach the hilarity of this photo of Dan and Sara sharing a drink from a giant goblet? You'll have to see the show to find out...
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Voluminous End-of-November Update
Hey kids...
It's been a while since I've posted anything on here. I apologize. Although I don't know why I'm apologizing to you, my few readers. I have no obligation to post on my blog. I should be apologizing to me. I'm only hurting myself, since I started this blog to let people know when and where I'd be performing, or if there was a bit of my writing that I wanted to draw your attention to, or whatever. So I've failed myself. Sorry Dan.
But now I'm back. And ready to write a long blog entry with lots and lots of parentheses.
Anyway, the reason why I haven't written anything in a while, is that I'm in a period of transition. As you probably know, Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You ended on November 11 (you can read what Sara has to say about it here). It was an awesome last show, and it was an awesome show in general. Thanks to Sara, who is one of the sweetest, funniest, all-around-best people I know, for getting me involved with it. Still, having it end has been sad, and it's sort of made me wonder what I should do next. I'm at a crossroads, if you will (if you will allow me to be pretentious, that is).
What's next for me? That's what I'm trying to decide. Recently I contributed (for the first time) a bit to Andres Du Bouchet's excellent show Giant Tuesday Night of Amazing Inventions and Also There is a Game. It went over okay, I think (at least, it didn't stick out like a sore thumb), and I hope to contribute more material to that show, whenever they'll have me (although I won't have the sort of "official" involvement that I had with SSIOWY). Jest.com doesn't appear to be updating anymore, but I hope to be involved in an all-new comedy website soon-- although I can't yet give any details. My friend Fed is planning a series of comedy podcasts, a TV series in online form, and I'm going to be one of the writers for that (and I may show up in a guest spot or two). More news on that as it develops. I'm also planning to write a screenplay, just as soon as I can figure out what I want to write about. If anyone pitches an idea to me that I decide to use, I promise to give them 1% of any money I make from the sale of said theoretical script. 1% of a likely $0.00! You can't beat that, so send those ideas in! Maybe I'll do some more stand-up. There's been some vague discussion of a sketch group with some friends of mine. And I've been taking the "Writing for The Daily Show" class over at The P.I.T. So feel free to hire me, Daily Show. But as for a solid new direction, who knows?
Anyway, in the meantime, if you're jonesing for your Dan fix, you can see me at Church Basement on December the 19th at 8 PM. I'll be delivering a couple of my high-larious essays at this bi-monthly reading series, at Mickey's Blue Room on Avenue C between 10th and 1th Streets. Also, if you want to see me at a more social, but still comedy-related, function, you can come to the party to celebrate/ mourn the sad end of Juvie Hall. It's at Slainte (directions behind the link) starting at 7 PM on December 19. You'll recognize me. I'll be the one crying into my beer.
And now, to reward you for slogging through all of that text, here are some photographs of the final Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You, courtesy of one of my SSIOWY co-writers, the inimitable Kara Lee Burk:
Oh, the misty watercolored memories...
It's been a while since I've posted anything on here. I apologize. Although I don't know why I'm apologizing to you, my few readers. I have no obligation to post on my blog. I should be apologizing to me. I'm only hurting myself, since I started this blog to let people know when and where I'd be performing, or if there was a bit of my writing that I wanted to draw your attention to, or whatever. So I've failed myself. Sorry Dan.
But now I'm back. And ready to write a long blog entry with lots and lots of parentheses.
Anyway, the reason why I haven't written anything in a while, is that I'm in a period of transition. As you probably know, Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You ended on November 11 (you can read what Sara has to say about it here). It was an awesome last show, and it was an awesome show in general. Thanks to Sara, who is one of the sweetest, funniest, all-around-best people I know, for getting me involved with it. Still, having it end has been sad, and it's sort of made me wonder what I should do next. I'm at a crossroads, if you will (if you will allow me to be pretentious, that is).
What's next for me? That's what I'm trying to decide. Recently I contributed (for the first time) a bit to Andres Du Bouchet's excellent show Giant Tuesday Night of Amazing Inventions and Also There is a Game. It went over okay, I think (at least, it didn't stick out like a sore thumb), and I hope to contribute more material to that show, whenever they'll have me (although I won't have the sort of "official" involvement that I had with SSIOWY). Jest.com doesn't appear to be updating anymore, but I hope to be involved in an all-new comedy website soon-- although I can't yet give any details. My friend Fed is planning a series of comedy podcasts, a TV series in online form, and I'm going to be one of the writers for that (and I may show up in a guest spot or two). More news on that as it develops. I'm also planning to write a screenplay, just as soon as I can figure out what I want to write about. If anyone pitches an idea to me that I decide to use, I promise to give them 1% of any money I make from the sale of said theoretical script. 1% of a likely $0.00! You can't beat that, so send those ideas in! Maybe I'll do some more stand-up. There's been some vague discussion of a sketch group with some friends of mine. And I've been taking the "Writing for The Daily Show" class over at The P.I.T. So feel free to hire me, Daily Show. But as for a solid new direction, who knows?
Anyway, in the meantime, if you're jonesing for your Dan fix, you can see me at Church Basement on December the 19th at 8 PM. I'll be delivering a couple of my high-larious essays at this bi-monthly reading series, at Mickey's Blue Room on Avenue C between 10th and 1th Streets. Also, if you want to see me at a more social, but still comedy-related, function, you can come to the party to celebrate/ mourn the sad end of Juvie Hall. It's at Slainte (directions behind the link) starting at 7 PM on December 19. You'll recognize me. I'll be the one crying into my beer.
And now, to reward you for slogging through all of that text, here are some photographs of the final Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You, courtesy of one of my SSIOWY co-writers, the inimitable Kara Lee Burk:
Oh, the misty watercolored memories...
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Obsessed... NO MORE!
As The Apiary reported recently Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You is soon to be no more. This Friday, November the 11th, at 8 PM, the final SSIOWY will kick off, and when it's done, that's it. After two critically acclaimed years (1/4 of which featured me) the show is done.
Why? Because all good things must eventually die, little cricket. But that doesn't make them any less sweet. Ah sweet comedy show, we hardly knew ye. Perhaps your death will fertilize the ground for many comedy shows to come.
Plus, now that Sara's married, she just can't be as obsessed with you anymore. Sorry, that's just the way things go. She's so over you. Why can't you move on?
Still, that doesn't mean that you and she can't have one last fling, for old times' sake. Snag a ticket if you can. And if they're sold out, fear not. The waiting list for SSIOWY usually gets a few extra people in the door, so if you're interested, show up at eight and slap your name on that puppy.
Juvie Hall Sketch Comedy Theatre
24 Bond Street, btw Bowery & Lafayette
Tickets $8, through Smarttix 212-868-4444, www.smarttix.com, or at the door
Meanwhile, does anyone want to give me a job? Comedy or otherwise?
Why? Because all good things must eventually die, little cricket. But that doesn't make them any less sweet. Ah sweet comedy show, we hardly knew ye. Perhaps your death will fertilize the ground for many comedy shows to come.
Plus, now that Sara's married, she just can't be as obsessed with you anymore. Sorry, that's just the way things go. She's so over you. Why can't you move on?
Still, that doesn't mean that you and she can't have one last fling, for old times' sake. Snag a ticket if you can. And if they're sold out, fear not. The waiting list for SSIOWY usually gets a few extra people in the door, so if you're interested, show up at eight and slap your name on that puppy.
Juvie Hall Sketch Comedy Theatre
24 Bond Street, btw Bowery & Lafayette
Tickets $8, through Smarttix 212-868-4444, www.smarttix.com, or at the door
Meanwhile, does anyone want to give me a job? Comedy or otherwise?
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Congratulations, Amanda!
I was keeping this under my hat for a while, until I was completely sure it was okay to say something, but since The Apiary has reported on it, I suppose there's no reason not to go ahead and post this:
Huge congratulations are in order for Amanda Melson, my friend and fellow Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You writer, who recently landed an honest-to-goodness job writing comedy for television. She's working on Greg Giraldo's Friday night evening of stand-up, on Comedy Central, which you can see starting this Friday at 8:30 PM. Just last week she got to live out the comedian's dream of dropping her day job for a dream job, and they've already put her to work spinning comedy gold.
Instead of the bitter gnashing of teeth that traditionally comes with a peer's success, I feel only great joy regarding Amanda's new position. Why? (You may well ask.) Because Amanda's the bees knees, foolish blog-reader! She's funny and quick with a brilliant comedic suggestion, but never precious about her own stuff, and she's one of the kindest people I know. She's paid her dues, people! She deserves every success. I simply cannot say enough good things.
So congratulations, Amanda. We're proud of you.
(And everyone who's not Amanda-- come on down to SSIOWY this Saturday at 8 to see Amanda in action, before she becomes too big to ever talk to us again.)
Huge congratulations are in order for Amanda Melson, my friend and fellow Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You writer, who recently landed an honest-to-goodness job writing comedy for television. She's working on Greg Giraldo's Friday night evening of stand-up, on Comedy Central, which you can see starting this Friday at 8:30 PM. Just last week she got to live out the comedian's dream of dropping her day job for a dream job, and they've already put her to work spinning comedy gold.
Instead of the bitter gnashing of teeth that traditionally comes with a peer's success, I feel only great joy regarding Amanda's new position. Why? (You may well ask.) Because Amanda's the bees knees, foolish blog-reader! She's funny and quick with a brilliant comedic suggestion, but never precious about her own stuff, and she's one of the kindest people I know. She's paid her dues, people! She deserves every success. I simply cannot say enough good things.
So congratulations, Amanda. We're proud of you.
(And everyone who's not Amanda-- come on down to SSIOWY this Saturday at 8 to see Amanda in action, before she becomes too big to ever talk to us again.)
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Two Big Shows This Week
In Sara's own words:
This coming Saturday, October 1, we've got a HUGE SSIOWY planned!
We've got cooking, great music, my bachelorette party, Law & Order - what more can you want? Come celebrate afterwards at Slainte, both to celebrate almost 2 years of doing SSIOWY, and to send Chris and I off as we are leaving to get married on Oct 6! If all that wasn't enough, some important people are coming, so if you've been meaning to come check it out, Oct 1 is the one!
Here are the details:
SARA SCHAEFER IS OBSESSED WITH YOU
Saturday, October 1, 8 p.m.
CELEBRITY GUEST: Laurie Woolever, Cook / Food Writer - Laurie will be doing a live cooking segment on the show! (Laurie was also the assistant to Mario Batali and also a cook for many famous types, so she will have many juicy stories to tell!)
MUSICAL GUEST: Valley Lodge - do NOT miss this band, they are fantastic and did I mention adorable?
AND AS ALWAYS...SOMEONE FROM LAW & ORDER!
WHERE: Juvie Hall Sketch Comedy Theatre, At The Gene Frankel Theater, 24 Bond St., btw Bowery & Lafayette
TICKETS: Tickets $8, available through Smarttix: 212-868-4444, http://www.blogger.com/, or at door.
www.saraschaefer.com
Also, I will be getting interviewed at a live talk show this week. Why am I important enough to be interviewed? God only knows. Yet again, I'll let the show's titular hosts tell you about it in their own words:
Do you like everything? Then you'll love anything! And since The Cocktail Hour is something, you should be there!
Guests? Don't mind if I do.
Writer/Artist Benjamin Birdie
Dan McCoy (Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You, Jest Magazine, Saturday Night Rewritten)
Did you know Devon might be a covert government agent? D'Arcy seems to think so. Find out the truth this Friday, Sept. 30th @ midnight. $5. Free soda and a slice of pizza.
Where?
Juvie Hall
24 Bond St.
This coming Saturday, October 1, we've got a HUGE SSIOWY planned!
We've got cooking, great music, my bachelorette party, Law & Order - what more can you want? Come celebrate afterwards at Slainte, both to celebrate almost 2 years of doing SSIOWY, and to send Chris and I off as we are leaving to get married on Oct 6! If all that wasn't enough, some important people are coming, so if you've been meaning to come check it out, Oct 1 is the one!
Here are the details:
SARA SCHAEFER IS OBSESSED WITH YOU
Saturday, October 1, 8 p.m.
CELEBRITY GUEST: Laurie Woolever, Cook / Food Writer - Laurie will be doing a live cooking segment on the show! (Laurie was also the assistant to Mario Batali and also a cook for many famous types, so she will have many juicy stories to tell!)
MUSICAL GUEST: Valley Lodge - do NOT miss this band, they are fantastic and did I mention adorable?
AND AS ALWAYS...SOMEONE FROM LAW & ORDER!
WHERE: Juvie Hall Sketch Comedy Theatre, At The Gene Frankel Theater, 24 Bond St., btw Bowery & Lafayette
TICKETS: Tickets $8, available through Smarttix: 212-868-4444, http://www.blogger.com/, or at door.
www.saraschaefer.com
Also, I will be getting interviewed at a live talk show this week. Why am I important enough to be interviewed? God only knows. Yet again, I'll let the show's titular hosts tell you about it in their own words:
Do you like everything? Then you'll love anything! And since The Cocktail Hour is something, you should be there!
Guests? Don't mind if I do.
Writer/Artist Benjamin Birdie
Dan McCoy (Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You, Jest Magazine, Saturday Night Rewritten)
Did you know Devon might be a covert government agent? D'Arcy seems to think so. Find out the truth this Friday, Sept. 30th @ midnight. $5. Free soda and a slice of pizza.
Where?
Juvie Hall
24 Bond St.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You, This Saturday the 17th at 8 PM
We have a great show this Saturday (note this is not our usual Friday night slot). Hope you can make it out.
SARA SCHAEFER IS OBSESSED WITH YOU
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 8 p.m.
Celebrity Guest: BRYAN TUCKER (writer for Chris Rock, Chapelle Show, and now Saturday Night Live!)
Musical guest: VALLEY LODGE
And as always...someone who's been on Law & Order!
Juvie Hall Sketch Comedy Theatre
(beneath the Gene Frankel Theater)
24 Bond Street,
btw Bowery & Lafayette
In lovely Noho, Manhattan
Very near the Broadway/Lafayette and Bleeker Street subway stations.
Tickets $8, through Smarttix 212-868-4444, http://www.smarttix.com/, or at the door
Last time Sara got shot by a mustachioed man, and I wore a sombrero and a white jump suit. What madness lies in store this time?
And, because I jus' loves recycling old material, here are a few unused monologue jokes.
FEMA chief Michael Brown, cited prior emergency-management experience in an official biography but his duties were "more like an intern," according to a Time magazine report. Perhaps that explains why, while many refugees have not been given food, they have been fetched plenty of coffee.
This Thursday, while touring the destruction resulting from Hurricane Katrina, Vice President Cheney stopped to take some questions from reporters. During the live, televised interview a passer-by shouted out, "Go fuck yourself, Mr. Cheney." I think the suggestion was only fair, as the Vice President is one of the few people who hasn't already been fucked by Dick Cheney.
The Dixie Chicks, Sheryl Crowe, and Paul Simon were just a few of the music stars who performed in this Friday's televised Hurricane Katrina benefit, titled Shelter From The Storm: A Concert For The Gulf Coast. It was an inspiring event, despite the questionable inclusion of The Scorpions, playing Rock You Like A Hurricane.
According to a study, children who were asked to shop for a Barbie doll's big night out were more likely to choose cigarettes if their parents smoked, and beer if their parents drank. Children who were more likely to undress the Barbie doll were named Dan.
This year's Emmys will feature an "American Idol"-style competition, wherein singers and television stars perform TV theme songs, with viewers voting for their favorites. Some of the planned performances include William Shatner and Frederica von Stade teaming up to sing the theme from "Star Trek," Megan Mullaly and and Donald Trump singing the "Green Acres" tune, and Dick Clark performing Diff'rent Strokes.
Elijah Wood, best known for his starring role as Frodo in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, has landed the role of a young Iggy Pop in a new movie. The name of the movie? Lust for Miscasting.
SARA SCHAEFER IS OBSESSED WITH YOU
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 8 p.m.
Celebrity Guest: BRYAN TUCKER (writer for Chris Rock, Chapelle Show, and now Saturday Night Live!)
Musical guest: VALLEY LODGE
And as always...someone who's been on Law & Order!
Juvie Hall Sketch Comedy Theatre
(beneath the Gene Frankel Theater)
24 Bond Street,
btw Bowery & Lafayette
In lovely Noho, Manhattan
Very near the Broadway/Lafayette and Bleeker Street subway stations.
Tickets $8, through Smarttix 212-868-4444, http://www.smarttix.com/, or at the door
Last time Sara got shot by a mustachioed man, and I wore a sombrero and a white jump suit. What madness lies in store this time?
And, because I jus' loves recycling old material, here are a few unused monologue jokes.
FEMA chief Michael Brown, cited prior emergency-management experience in an official biography but his duties were "more like an intern," according to a Time magazine report. Perhaps that explains why, while many refugees have not been given food, they have been fetched plenty of coffee.
This Thursday, while touring the destruction resulting from Hurricane Katrina, Vice President Cheney stopped to take some questions from reporters. During the live, televised interview a passer-by shouted out, "Go fuck yourself, Mr. Cheney." I think the suggestion was only fair, as the Vice President is one of the few people who hasn't already been fucked by Dick Cheney.
The Dixie Chicks, Sheryl Crowe, and Paul Simon were just a few of the music stars who performed in this Friday's televised Hurricane Katrina benefit, titled Shelter From The Storm: A Concert For The Gulf Coast. It was an inspiring event, despite the questionable inclusion of The Scorpions, playing Rock You Like A Hurricane.
According to a study, children who were asked to shop for a Barbie doll's big night out were more likely to choose cigarettes if their parents smoked, and beer if their parents drank. Children who were more likely to undress the Barbie doll were named Dan.
This year's Emmys will feature an "American Idol"-style competition, wherein singers and television stars perform TV theme songs, with viewers voting for their favorites. Some of the planned performances include William Shatner and Frederica von Stade teaming up to sing the theme from "Star Trek," Megan Mullaly and and Donald Trump singing the "Green Acres" tune, and Dick Clark performing Diff'rent Strokes.
Elijah Wood, best known for his starring role as Frodo in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, has landed the role of a young Iggy Pop in a new movie. The name of the movie? Lust for Miscasting.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
We Are the Darlings of the Niche Blog World
The copier carnage got covered by The Apiary. Read all the gory details in their article:
Amidst Peals of Delight from Bloodthirsty Audience, Sara Schaefer Totally Fucks Up Copy Machine; Related: Sara Schaefer Presumed Dead
Amidst Peals of Delight from Bloodthirsty Audience, Sara Schaefer Totally Fucks Up Copy Machine; Related: Sara Schaefer Presumed Dead
Monday, August 22, 2005
Tired Monday Bloggery
The destruction of the copier was a rousing success. I can say with authority that you haven't lived until you've seen a woman smash a copy machine with a sledgehammer, to the tune of "In the Air Tonight" by Phil Collins.
Perhaps Sara got some pictures of the big event, and will post them. If not, you're out of luck. That'll teach you for not coming to the show.
In other news, The Onion has started a blog, which is good news for a guy like me whose work day consists of 10% work and 90% Internet time. I mention it here, because this post contains some apropos-of-nothing love for Brian Stack, which I heartily second. When we had him on Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You he couldn't have been nicer or more interested in chatting with all of us before the show, and his interview segment was tops. All hail Stack!
Perhaps Sara got some pictures of the big event, and will post them. If not, you're out of luck. That'll teach you for not coming to the show.
In other news, The Onion has started a blog, which is good news for a guy like me whose work day consists of 10% work and 90% Internet time. I mention it here, because this post contains some apropos-of-nothing love for Brian Stack, which I heartily second. When we had him on Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You he couldn't have been nicer or more interested in chatting with all of us before the show, and his interview segment was tops. All hail Stack!
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Contest Deadline
The Smash Sara Schaefer's Copy Machine contest is nearing its deadline. Get those entries in by 5 PM today, people!
For the official contest description, etc., visit Sara's website.
For the official contest description, etc., visit Sara's website.
Monday, August 15, 2005
A Fine Guest Indeed
For our upcoming last-show-of-the-summer, "Casual Friday," Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You (the one where we're destroying the copy machine, as seen in Gothamist-- you can still get your contest entries in) Sara will be interviewing a lady who's certainly my favorite Law and Order Guest ever:
Liz is one of my oldest and best college friends, and one of the sweetest, most fun, awesome-tastic-est (shut up) people you're liable to meet, and she's just one more reason to come and see this great show.
Liz is one of my oldest and best college friends, and one of the sweetest, most fun, awesome-tastic-est (shut up) people you're liable to meet, and she's just one more reason to come and see this great show.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Get Those Contest Entries In, People!
Gothamist supports our wanton destruction...
...As does The Apiary (they even dug up a rare picture of Sara in her Gallagher phase).
The DEATH of the Copier -- coming soon.
...As does The Apiary (they even dug up a rare picture of Sara in her Gallagher phase).
The DEATH of the Copier -- coming soon.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
At Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You, Friday, August 19, a copy machine will die.
...And one lucky winner will help kill it!
HELP US DESTROY THE S.S.I.O.W.Y. COPY MACHINE!
This is not the actual SSIOWY copier, but it will serve as an adequate visual aid for those of you who have never seen a copier before.
Why? Because it's huge and doesn't work. Plus, it feels good to destroy something in front of a live audience.
Here's how you enter:Show us why you deserve to destroy the copy machine! Submit your funniest, most outrageous true office story, e-mail, voicemail, powerpoint, fax, object, picture, etc. by Wednesday August 17 at 5 p.m. We will choose finalists who will present their entry on stage!
Our celebrity judge, BRIAN HUSKEY (UCB, Best Week Ever, etc.), will join Sara, the S.S.I.O.W.Y. writers, and the audience in picking the winner.
The winner will not only aid in obliterating the copy machine, but he or she will also choose the background music to which said copier will be annihilated. No doubt, an opportunity of a lifetime.
Submit entries to schaefersara@earthlink.net -- and even if you don't enter the contest, come to the show hungry for toner!
McSweeney's Quarterly Back Issue Order Form
The second in my "archiving old Jest humor pieces series" is perhaps my favorite thing I wrote for that magazine. It's the piece that got me blogged in New Yorkish; the piece that made future fellow-Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You writer Amanda Melson sit up and say, "Who is this Dan McCoy?" and the piece that, when I pressed it into his hands, made former McSweeney's writer Neal Pollack look nonplussed and say, "Yeah, there have been a bunch of McSweeney's parodies."
Ye mighty, gaze upon the...
Issue 1
To purchase, please go to a McSweeney’s 100 bookstore near you (a list of participating independent retailers may be found online at Timothy McSweeney’s Internet Tendency). Conversely, you may order a copy online at the aforementioned web site, or send $21.95 to the address listed in the endnotes.
Issue 2
Issue two has been engraved on card stock, and can be assembled to create scale models, which depict the houses of the authors whose stories may be found within. As the construction of these models is fairly complex, Dave Eggers requests that those wishing to buy issue two write him a personal note, and he will mail them a copy, complete with detailed instructions.
Issue 3
The third issue was printed entirely on strips of hickory bark, and published in limited numbers. Act soon. Supplies are limited, owing to a particularly cold winter.
Issue 4
The stories included in issue four are meant to be read while listening to a specially commissioned composition for piano, by Philip Glass, the sheet music for which can be found printed on the inner binding. As the piece demands several difficult fingerings, Mr. Glass insists that he perform it himself. Co-ordinating your schedule with that of Mr. Glass is solely your concern, as is any remuneration he may require.
The only existing copy of issue five has been mailed to J.D. Salinger. We encourage those of you who enjoy a challenge to obtain it from him.
Issue 6
On the coldest night of the year, stand at a crossroads. When the moon just hits the crest of the horizon, put shovel to dirt. At a depth of six spans, less one ell, find an earthen vessel. Smash it quick, and from the shards draw seven splinters, bearing four consonants and three vowels. These letters are a surname, to be confirmed by careful study of the county’s records of birth. If you have followed these directions true, the name shall be revealed to you. The disclosed man is a dwarf. Issue six has been tattooed on his torso. Should you wish to revisit the stories from issue six at a later date, the aforementioned gentleman allows readers to take Polaroids, but color copies are expressly forbidden.
Issue 7
Go to the lake isle of Innisfree. Sit on its shores. As the season turns, the wind will whisper issue seven into your ears.
Issue 8
Sit on the fire escape directly across from the McSweeney’s offices on August the 12th, at precisely 8:47 PM. Employing a Nikon camera, equipped with a telephoto lens and high-speed film, take pictures of Rick Moody, Nick Hornby, and Sarah Vowell engaged in an amorous clinch. Blow up the incriminating snaps on 8 1/2 by 11 photo paper, and enclose them in a manila envelope. Compose a threatening epistle, by cutting brightly colored individual letters from popular magazines and assembling them as appropriate. Send the photographs and the letter to us via personal messenger. In return, we will send you issue eight, in a series of plain brown wrappers, bearing non-consecutive serial numbers.
Issue Q
There is no issue Q.*
Issue 9
Lead a blameless life. When you die, ascend to heaven, where all the wondrous majesty of issue nine will be made known to you. (Special bonus: Issue nine includes an essay by David Foster Wallace, about ice cream.)
*At least, in this dimension.
Ye mighty, gaze upon the...
M c S W E E N E Y ’ S Q U A R T E R L Y
B A C K I S S U E O R D E R F O R M .
B A C K I S S U E O R D E R F O R M .
----
HOW TO OBTAIN COPIES.
Issue 1
To purchase, please go to a McSweeney’s 100 bookstore near you (a list of participating independent retailers may be found online at Timothy McSweeney’s Internet Tendency). Conversely, you may order a copy online at the aforementioned web site, or send $21.95 to the address listed in the endnotes.
----
Issue 2
Issue two has been engraved on card stock, and can be assembled to create scale models, which depict the houses of the authors whose stories may be found within. As the construction of these models is fairly complex, Dave Eggers requests that those wishing to buy issue two write him a personal note, and he will mail them a copy, complete with detailed instructions.
----
Issue 3
The third issue was printed entirely on strips of hickory bark, and published in limited numbers. Act soon. Supplies are limited, owing to a particularly cold winter.
----
Issue 4
The stories included in issue four are meant to be read while listening to a specially commissioned composition for piano, by Philip Glass, the sheet music for which can be found printed on the inner binding. As the piece demands several difficult fingerings, Mr. Glass insists that he perform it himself. Co-ordinating your schedule with that of Mr. Glass is solely your concern, as is any remuneration he may require.
----
Issue 5The only existing copy of issue five has been mailed to J.D. Salinger. We encourage those of you who enjoy a challenge to obtain it from him.
----
Issue 6
On the coldest night of the year, stand at a crossroads. When the moon just hits the crest of the horizon, put shovel to dirt. At a depth of six spans, less one ell, find an earthen vessel. Smash it quick, and from the shards draw seven splinters, bearing four consonants and three vowels. These letters are a surname, to be confirmed by careful study of the county’s records of birth. If you have followed these directions true, the name shall be revealed to you. The disclosed man is a dwarf. Issue six has been tattooed on his torso. Should you wish to revisit the stories from issue six at a later date, the aforementioned gentleman allows readers to take Polaroids, but color copies are expressly forbidden.
----
Issue 7
Go to the lake isle of Innisfree. Sit on its shores. As the season turns, the wind will whisper issue seven into your ears.
----
Issue 8
Sit on the fire escape directly across from the McSweeney’s offices on August the 12th, at precisely 8:47 PM. Employing a Nikon camera, equipped with a telephoto lens and high-speed film, take pictures of Rick Moody, Nick Hornby, and Sarah Vowell engaged in an amorous clinch. Blow up the incriminating snaps on 8 1/2 by 11 photo paper, and enclose them in a manila envelope. Compose a threatening epistle, by cutting brightly colored individual letters from popular magazines and assembling them as appropriate. Send the photographs and the letter to us via personal messenger. In return, we will send you issue eight, in a series of plain brown wrappers, bearing non-consecutive serial numbers.
----
Issue Q
There is no issue Q.*
----
Issue 9
Lead a blameless life. When you die, ascend to heaven, where all the wondrous majesty of issue nine will be made known to you. (Special bonus: Issue nine includes an essay by David Foster Wallace, about ice cream.)
*At least, in this dimension.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Sara Schaefer Recap Fun
Friday's Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You was one of the best yet, with great office sketches, and an extremely candid interview with Neal Pollack (he even talked about this stuff).
The sketches involved our efforts to start an office newsletter; our break into factions, and the newsletter wars that resulted (with many of us talking in old-timey newspaper voices for no good reason); and the ever-more-absurd competing publications that resulted. We also did mock-ups of the newsletters' covers to project on the back screen during the scenes, and I thought you might enjoy seeing some of those visuals. Here are the two that I put together (the others were done by Sara).
Ah, the hilarity of me in boxers.
Also: Neal Pollack was a great sport, especially when it came to poking fun at himself. He even appeared in the final beat of our office sketches. He was such a good sport that it's worth recapping in full:
After his interview he went backstage with Sara, and an announcer (me) explained that "...they came upon a horrific scene. The office newsletter conflict that had begun 2 sketches ago had erupted into a full-blown war." Through a series of events that would take too long to explain, Sara managed to bring the office back together by singing "Diff'rent Strokes." However, just at the end of the bridge, Neal Pollack came out to release a dove into the air, in a gesture of peace. Unfortunately, the dove is dead and simply falls to the floor. At this point, it's best to just let the script tell the story...
SARA
Oh great, Neal Pollack, way to go. I suppose you'regoing to blame that one on your persona?
EVERYONE
[joining in]
Yeah, good one Neal Pollack! You’re horrible! Neal Pollack is a jerk! Your uin everything! Never mind the Pollacks indeed, sir!
[Just then a voice comes over the PA]
VOICE OF DAVE EGGERS
Hey! Everybody! Calm down.
EVERYONE
Who are you?
DAVE EGGERS
I’m Dave Eggers.
[Everyone gasps]
I just bought this theater to add to my finely honed empire of whimsy. Anyway, you guys, look at yourselves. We need to stop tearing each other down – and come together! Sure, sometimes we get into media wars with people we love and respect, people we owe most of our success to, and sometimes we get into fights with Neal Pollack.
NEAL:
Thanks a lot Eggers!
EGGERS:
That was more whimsy, Neal! Do I need to remind you that I teach children to read?
NEAL:
No, no. (sigh)
EGGERS:
Listen kids, don't let an office newsletter divide you, certainly not when it's printed on such poor quality paper!
NEAL:
He's right, you know.
EGGERS:
Thanks Neal, you're not so bad yourself...
Because it takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world. Yes it does. It takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.
SARA:
Dave Eggers is the best!
EVERYONE
[as they exit]
Yay! Eggers rules! I loved “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius”! I'm going to go buy that book of his that you can't buy in stores!
[Neal Pollack is left alone on stage, with a spotlight on him. The sad music from the end of the Incredible Hulk comes on. He turns, picks up a knapsack, and walks off slowly, pretends to hitchhike. The lights slowly fade to black.]
Ah, poignant and hilarious-- great stuff from Sara and Amanda, who had the biggest hand in writing the final beat (I worked most on the second part... which also went off really well, but I'm not posting the whole show for you suckers. Come to the theater and pay for a ticket).
The sketches involved our efforts to start an office newsletter; our break into factions, and the newsletter wars that resulted (with many of us talking in old-timey newspaper voices for no good reason); and the ever-more-absurd competing publications that resulted. We also did mock-ups of the newsletters' covers to project on the back screen during the scenes, and I thought you might enjoy seeing some of those visuals. Here are the two that I put together (the others were done by Sara).
Ah, the hilarity of me in boxers.
Also: Neal Pollack was a great sport, especially when it came to poking fun at himself. He even appeared in the final beat of our office sketches. He was such a good sport that it's worth recapping in full:
After his interview he went backstage with Sara, and an announcer (me) explained that "...they came upon a horrific scene. The office newsletter conflict that had begun 2 sketches ago had erupted into a full-blown war." Through a series of events that would take too long to explain, Sara managed to bring the office back together by singing "Diff'rent Strokes." However, just at the end of the bridge, Neal Pollack came out to release a dove into the air, in a gesture of peace. Unfortunately, the dove is dead and simply falls to the floor. At this point, it's best to just let the script tell the story...
SARA
Oh great, Neal Pollack, way to go. I suppose you'regoing to blame that one on your persona?
EVERYONE
[joining in]
Yeah, good one Neal Pollack! You’re horrible! Neal Pollack is a jerk! Your uin everything! Never mind the Pollacks indeed, sir!
[Just then a voice comes over the PA]
VOICE OF DAVE EGGERS
Hey! Everybody! Calm down.
EVERYONE
Who are you?
DAVE EGGERS
I’m Dave Eggers.
[Everyone gasps]
I just bought this theater to add to my finely honed empire of whimsy. Anyway, you guys, look at yourselves. We need to stop tearing each other down – and come together! Sure, sometimes we get into media wars with people we love and respect, people we owe most of our success to, and sometimes we get into fights with Neal Pollack.
NEAL:
Thanks a lot Eggers!
EGGERS:
That was more whimsy, Neal! Do I need to remind you that I teach children to read?
NEAL:
No, no. (sigh)
EGGERS:
Listen kids, don't let an office newsletter divide you, certainly not when it's printed on such poor quality paper!
NEAL:
He's right, you know.
EGGERS:
Thanks Neal, you're not so bad yourself...
Because it takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world. Yes it does. It takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.
SARA:
Dave Eggers is the best!
EVERYONE
[as they exit]
Yay! Eggers rules! I loved “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius”! I'm going to go buy that book of his that you can't buy in stores!
[Neal Pollack is left alone on stage, with a spotlight on him. The sad music from the end of the Incredible Hulk comes on. He turns, picks up a knapsack, and walks off slowly, pretends to hitchhike. The lights slowly fade to black.]
Ah, poignant and hilarious-- great stuff from Sara and Amanda, who had the biggest hand in writing the final beat (I worked most on the second part... which also went off really well, but I'm not posting the whole show for you suckers. Come to the theater and pay for a ticket).
Friday, July 29, 2005
The Onion, Regarding Tonight's Show
Tonight's Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You is one of the featured weekend events in The Onion's NYC Calendar. I quote, via handily offset text:
Thanks, The Onion! The last remaining tickets are sure to go fast, after this extra press, so be sure to snag one now if you want to go. And if you want to read more SSIOWY praise, from The Onion and elsewhere, go here.Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You: Sara Schaefer, Neal Pollack, The Last Town Chorus, Juvie Hall 8 p.m., $8
Though he recently shook off the heavy, made-up mantle of "Greatest Living American Writer" in an essay in The New York Times Book Review, it's hard to believe that Neal Pollack's "irony years" are over. In fact, Pollack's funny essay inadvertantly started a minor literary catfight with Dave Eggers over using fake quotes in a real article about a fictional persona-- which is basically the equivalent of irony folding in on itself. Here, Pollack will submit to a round of relentless interviewing by comedian Sara Schaefer during her excellent talk-show/ office party hybrid, Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With NEAL POLLACK this Friday the 29th!
That's right, at this week's Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You, Sara will be interviewing the most important American author himself, Neal Pollack (former McSweeney's contributor, and the author of The Neal Pollack Anthology of American Literature and Never Mind the Pollacks). He's sure to delight and amuse with his metafictional hijinx.
The musical guest will be The Last Town Chorus, a lap steel and acoustic guitar duo, with a singer who's been favorably compared to Gillian Welch and Rickie Lee Jones. You can sample their music here. And, as always, you can expect a special Law and Order guest, plus our usual office shenanigans. Last week we broke into an unexpected, highly choreographed, Bollywood dance number. Who knows what might happen this week?
The show is this Friday the 29th at 8 PM, at Juvie Hall . Tickets are $8., and they can be purchased here, via Juvie Hall, or at the door-- but be aware, we do sell out.
You want critical acclaim? Check it:
"A compelling, funny take on the boxed-in conventions of both television and office work."
- The Onion "
Much more fun than anything you'd catch on basic cable."
- Amelia David, Backstage
A TimeOut New York Critic's Pick; Emerging Comics of New York Award Winner; Featured on the New York Post Hot List; more praise here.
The musical guest will be The Last Town Chorus, a lap steel and acoustic guitar duo, with a singer who's been favorably compared to Gillian Welch and Rickie Lee Jones. You can sample their music here. And, as always, you can expect a special Law and Order guest, plus our usual office shenanigans. Last week we broke into an unexpected, highly choreographed, Bollywood dance number. Who knows what might happen this week?
The show is this Friday the 29th at 8 PM, at Juvie Hall . Tickets are $8., and they can be purchased here, via Juvie Hall, or at the door-- but be aware, we do sell out.
You want critical acclaim? Check it:
"A compelling, funny take on the boxed-in conventions of both television and office work."
- The Onion "
Much more fun than anything you'd catch on basic cable."
- Amelia David, Backstage
A TimeOut New York Critic's Pick; Emerging Comics of New York Award Winner; Featured on the New York Post Hot List; more praise here.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Self-Centered
Ah, the latest in my annoying series of posts tracking back blog references to shows I write for/ appear in...
The inimatable Lusty Lady tells of her excursion to July 15th's Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You.
Neal Pollack, SSIOWY's guest for the upcoming July 29 show, announces his appearance on our show over at his blog.
Lastly, Amanda Melson, lovely and talented stand-up/ Sara Schaefer writer recently had a birthday (Happy Birthday!) and restarted her blog. It's a little sparse right now, but it'll grow.
The inimatable Lusty Lady tells of her excursion to July 15th's Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You.
Neal Pollack, SSIOWY's guest for the upcoming July 29 show, announces his appearance on our show over at his blog.
Lastly, Amanda Melson, lovely and talented stand-up/ Sara Schaefer writer recently had a birthday (Happy Birthday!) and restarted her blog. It's a little sparse right now, but it'll grow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
