Rejection Receives Recognition

Thanks to comedy superfan Rachel Kramer Bussel's sharp eyes*, I was alerted to this story. Some Associated Press reporters were at the performance of The Rejection Show I mentioned previously, the one that featured a short film by my old fake boss Sara Schaefer (in which I had an approximately 20-second cameo), and wrote up a piece about it.

It's a nice article, and it even comes with a little video you can check out.










*which you can witness, bespectacled, in the aforementioned video.

March Madness... or at least mild depression

For those of you who like to plan your calendar three weeks in advance, take note: I will be performing in Andres Du Bouchet & Co.'s fantastic variety show Giant Tuesday Night of Amazing Inventions and Also There is a Game on March the 7th, at 8:00 PM. I will be acting in a bit that I wrote, essaying the character of "Sarcastic Strawberry Vendor." Make of that what you will.

If you've never seen the show before, just know that it's one of the best and funniest comedy shows in the city, an opinion I held long before I got the chance to contribute anything to it.

The show is every Tuesday at Rififi/Cinema Classics 332 E. 11th St. (between 1st & 2nd Aves.)There is one drink minimum, but with $3 MGD on tap, I think you can swing it.

Finalist! The Sequel!

Another one of my TV spec scripts has (sort of) won an award.

My Simpsons spec, "Jesus Christ Superstation," was a semi-finalist in Scriptapalooza's TV writing competition, one of the largest of its kind. (This year they received a total of 806 scripts - 241 pilots, 230 1 hour episodics and 335 sitcoms.)

Mine was the only one of the finalists that was a Simpsons script. Some might say that this was because I was the only person dumb enough to spec for a more-than-ten-years-old show. I like to think that it's because I was the only person talented enough to put a new spin on a more-than-ten-years-old show. Y'know. We all tell ourselves lies to survive.

This is my second spec, and the second to (sort of) win an award. (The continuing parenthetical interjections seek to acknowledge that the question of whether or not being a finalist constitutes winning anything is debatable.) Two out of two ain't bad.

Now can someone hire me? Or at least get me a damn agent?

May I Remind You...

...that the always lovely Sara Schaefer will be screening a five-minute comedy short, with a cameo appearance by the always-lovely me, at tonight's Rejection Show.

That is all.

"Captains" Website is Live!

So, the website for Captains is up and running. There's currently not that much content there, since we haven't actually shot any of the episodes yet, but it's still pretty neat. Go to http://www.captainsinspace.com/ to check it out. You can read a little about the concept and get bios of the people involved, and the front page is a blog where (I'm just assuming, since Fed is the webmaster) production news will be updated as we progress.

One of the more exciting pieces of news is that Andrea Rosen will be appearing in Future Shock, one of the episodes I wrote. You may have seen her in a reoccuring role in the very funny Stella on Comedy Central, a show I hope will return for a second season, although perhaps it's been shunted off to make room for more episodes of "Distraction" or 12 hours of Mad TV reruns. You know... for kids.

Anyway, to sum up, here are the things that you'll be able to find on the Captains website as of now:

-A spiffy logo
-A series synopsis
-Gratuitous use of the word "space"
-An email address for you to spam
-A reference to a "sexy onboard computer"
-Bios of the cast, crew, and writers
-Including a bio of Devon T. Coleman which is funnier than the boilerplate bio I contributed. What's that guy's problem, anyway?
-A photo of me holding a martini and a cat

Things you won't be able to find on the Captains website:

-Nude photos of any of the above (aside from the aforementioned cat)
-Actual episodes of the show

But they're coming, friends! (Uh... the episodes, not the nude photos.) We hope by early March. Keep checking in.

Happy Groundhog Day!

If You're Bored of Me

It's not personal news, but I wanted to give a couple of plugs to some certified F.O.D.'s.

First off, if you're in NYC, you should pick up a copy of Metro, one of the many free dailies that accompany bored subway riders on their daily commutes. Why? (Other than the thrilling expose on how men want to sleep with Jessica Alba?) Because Elliot Kalan, associate producer on The Daily Show and host of The New Kalan Show (formerly "The Midnight Kalan," on which I had the pleasure of appearing, for the "Night of Stallone" show) is now contributing a weekly column. And today is the kick-off piece. According to insider sources (read: Elliott), the column should appear every Friday hereafter. So rejoice, commuters! Three minutes of your day just got a lot more interesting!

Also: what has Sara Schaefer been doing, since the shuttering of Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You? She's been doing some solo performances around the city (the SSIOWY staff got together for a mini-reunion to enjoy her act at Variety Underground a couple of weeks ago). I'd like to highlight one particular performance: her upcoming appearance at The Rejection Show.

The Rejection Show
February 7th @ 8:30PM, $10
Mo Pitkin's House of Satisfaction
34 Avenue A (2nd and 3rd St.)
Tickets available in advance via Ticketweb.com or call or visit the Mo Pitkin's box office at (212) 777-5660
F or V to Second Ave.
Other people presenting rejections: Michael Showalter (Stella, The State, The Baxter), Peter Hyman (The Reluctant Metrosexual, Spin Magazine), and New Yorker Cartoonists!

Sara will be presenting a rejected Channel 102 pilot, which, as a bonus for the Whither Laffs reader, features about 30 seconds of me. See the music video where I took an ostensibly comedic pratfall, the scar from which I can still see on my shoulder.

Hooray for friends. Woo woo.

"Update, or: In Which I, Your Humble Host, Hit You Over the Head with a Four-by-Four"

As promised, here is the information about my appearance on Saturday:

Eric Zuckerman and I will be hosting 4x4, a series of four ten-minute comic plays (why that doesn't make it 4x10, god only knows), at the Gotham City Improv.

Cost: $10 (or $2.50/ play)
Time: Saturday, January 28, at 8:30 (length of show approx. 1 hour)
Location: 158 West 23rd St., 2F (above Monster Sushi)
Directions: Take the C. E, N, R, 1, 9 or F to 23rd Street then walk towards 7th Ave.

Mr. Z and I will be hosting as Caine and Hoskins-- meaning that I will be doing my inimitable Michael Caine impression and Zuckerman will be doing his incredible Bob Hoskins impression... which got me to thinking: have these two Cockeney acting titans ever done a movie together? And if not, some producer needs to get the two of them together IMMEDIATELY. It turns out that they have done one film together, Neil Jordan's 1986 British gangster-romance, "Mona Lisa." But they were hardly co-stars. I was thinking something more on the order of this:

CAINE.................... HOSKINS

in

LIMEYS!

Or, even better...

CAINE.................... HOSKINS

in

BLIMEY!

Could be great...

In the Bleak Midwinter

Well, it's been a while since I've updated this thing, and that's not because I've forgotten you, dear reader (how could I ever forget YOU?), but because there's not much that's been going on. I've allowed myself to succumb to post-holiday laziness. However, things should be picking up from here, and if you've been jonesing for some Dan-related comedy (which puts you in about the one-millionth of one percent of the population-- although, luckily, most of that percentage knows about this calendar/ blog), then you're in luck.

Yes, in my first performance since 2005, I will be appearing this Saturday evening from 8:30-9:30, co-hosting a slate of four ten-minute plays... the perfect length for a play, in my easily-distracted opinion. My partner in this endeavor will be one Mr. Eric Zuckerman, whom you may know as "Doomsday Guy" from the 4th highest-grossing film of the year*, War of the Worlds. That's right. I'll be sharing the stage with someone who has recieved valuable direction from Mr. Steven Spielberg himself-- direction that possibly included, "Look over there," and, "Louder."

I don't know all the details just yet (Mr. Z is running point on this operation and he has yet to apprise me of all the ins and outs) but I wanted to warn you immediately, in case you needed to clear your already sparse Saturday-evening calendar. As soon as I know all the salient information, I'll post it right here.

In other news, following my semi-award winning TV spec scripts that have completely failed to win me an agent as of yet, I've decided to write a screenplay. Just as soon as I, y'know... figure out how to do that.

Also, production is underway on multiple episodes of the video podcast "Captains," mentioned in the link bar to the right of your screen. It's a little comedy sci/fi series being put together by my friend Fed, his friend Adam, Mr. Devon T. Coleman, and yours truly. I'll give you more details as production progresses, but we're hoping that the first episode might be available by late February or early March, at which point the aforementioned link will become active, and the wealthy among you can enjoy our shenanigans via your video iPod, the middle class can enjoy our shenanigans via your computers' Quicktime video programs, and the poor can enjoy distorted re-tellings of our shenanigans while huddled around the Tang-cooler.

In other news, I am irredemably self-obsessed.

*According to the Entertainment Weekly I read on the subway this morning.

Please, Kill Me!

So I sent some pitches to MAD Magazine a while back, one of which they liked; and I did a little back and forth with them on a couple of drafts. Anyway, ultimately they decided that they didn't want to use the piece, but they liked what I'd done and wanted to give me something for my work, so they're going to pay me a $100 "kill fee." Cool. This is the first time I've been paid for writing something that didn't get published (well, that's not true-- I think Jest may have paid me for a piece that didn't get published because they folded before they could use it, but at least they intended to use it). Anyway, what a cool move on MAD Magazine's part. And I'm still hoping to write something sometime that they'll actually print, so stay tuned.

I was going to make a joke about never getting paid for nothing before... but, sadly, I'm familiar with the joys of unemployment checks. All things considered, I'd rather be paid to not get published.

A Note From the Church Basement Guys, About Tonight's Show

Hello All and Happy Holidays,

Cold weather getting you down? Sick and tired of all the crowds and shopping? Laid off from your job as a mall Santa and forced to choose between buying food and prescription medication? Us too. Well, there's only one cure for those holiday blues: Church Basement's Final Show of 2005/Holiday Extravaganza!! That's right, this Monday at Church Basement we'll be freaking bursting with cheer. We'll also be giving away cookies and candy canes. And the bar will be serving HOME MADE EGG NOG with.....FRESH NUTMEG! Plus, we'll have our usual lineup of stellar guests. This week we welcome:

Kurt Braunohler- Co-host of the wildly popular and critically acclaimed variety show Hot Tub, as well as the co-creator of the amazing guerrilla street theatre that is Chengwin.

We've also got Seth Herzog, downtown favorite and host of Sweet. You've also seen him on VH1, the TV show Stella, and the movies Prime and The Baxter. He'll rock you good.

And we're welcoming back Basement favorite Dan McCoy. A writer for Jest and NPR, Dan has been with us almost from the start and is actually more popular than the hosts.

And last only alphabetically, we're bringing you John Phillips, founding member of the Hi-larious sketch comedy group Trophy Dad and all around super guy.

All I can say is, "Wow." In fact, I can't say it. Much like Orthodox Jews who dare not utter the name of G_D, I fear that if I speak of this Basement out loud, its unimaginable power may very well strike me down.

But that's not all. As a special treat, Monday night's show will feature the return of everybody's favorite Robot Cater Waiter, Zeep Zorp singing a special holiday song with Matt Yeager on the guitar. And stick around after the show for more egg nog and all-around holiday carousing. It's gonna be a party. We'll see you Monday night at 8pm sharp.

Your Hosts,

Nick Higgins, Jack Kukoda, and Matt Yeager
--
http://www.churchbasement.com/

Church Basement Reading Series
@ Micky's Blue Room
Ave. C btw. 10th & 11th
8pm
Free!

Celebrating (to) the End

Last night's party to celebrate the end of Juvie Hall was pretty awesome, and shame on you if you didn't come.

"But Dan! I had work Tuesday morn..."

A-bup-bup-bup! You're dead to me.

The details are hazy (it was held in a bar), but I seem to remember doing a long interpretive dance, with intermittant short beverage breaks, with Autumn Clark, and having a lengthy argument with Eric Zuckerman, in which he took the role of Bob Hoskins and I essayed the role of Michael Caine.

You know, the usual annoying performer jackass stuff. But fun.

As for Juvie Hall, it will be sorely missed. Should auld acquaintance be forgot, etc. etc. But before it's gone forever, check out my last few posts, and come see me perform there this weekend.

And thank you Erik Marcisak for driving me home, so I need not brave the subways while cold, tired, and tipsy. Has the E train made its last exit to Brooklyn?

Breaking News Sure to Bring the Utmost Excitement!

I have just been tapped to contribute a bit to famed Daily Show production assistant Elliott Kalan's excellent unscripted late-night talk show The Midnight Kalan!

This will be the LAST Midnight Kalan at Juvie Hall before the theater shuts down for good.

What lies ahead for Elliott in the New Year? God only knows. Well, we do have some clues-- according to his website, there will be "coming in 2006: Elliott Kalan's Untitled Comedy Event Talk Show." Intriguing.

But that's in THE FUTURE. What does Elliott have on tap for the final show? Again, we consult the official word from his website:

"A NIGHT WITH STALLONE"

Midnight Kalan goes out with a Sylvester-Stallone-fueled bang!

December 16 at 12 AM.
Tickets ONLY $5, and each ticket entitles you to 1 slice of pizza and 8 oz. of soda.
24 Bond Street (Under the Gene Frankel Theater) (Between Bowery and Lafayette)

Can you afford to miss it?

The New Issue of Ducts is Online

The new issue of Ducts.org, the literary webzine edited by my friend and former comedy-team-mate, Jonathan Kravetz is now online. I edit the humor section, and would like to draw your attention, in particular, to the "Tribute to Spam," by the inimitable Andres Du Bouchet (of Giant Tuesday Night of Amazing Inventions and Also There Is a Game); "Movin' Out: The Rough Draft," by my partner in crime Rob Bates; and my own contribution, "Class Notes."

Also, if you poke around the rest of the 'zine, you can see illustrations by yours truly, that run the gamut from competent to passable. Yay!

Grand Falls Community Council, Friday the 16th at 8 PM, Juvie Hall

I have a small part in a one-night-only comedy show that the lovely Laura Buchholtz has written and is producing/ directing, called "The Grand Falls Community Council." Come see it at Juvie Hall on Friday the 16th at 8 PM, for a mere $7. Come out to the theater at 24 Bond Street between Bowery and Lafayette for some special limited-edition comedy before the holidays.

Edited 12/ 10 to reflect Laura's helpful update.

Voluminous End-of-November Update

Hey kids...

It's been a while since I've posted anything on here. I apologize. Although I don't know why I'm apologizing to you, my few readers. I have no obligation to post on my blog. I should be apologizing to me. I'm only hurting myself, since I started this blog to let people know when and where I'd be performing, or if there was a bit of my writing that I wanted to draw your attention to, or whatever. So I've failed myself. Sorry Dan.

But now I'm back. And ready to write a long blog entry with lots and lots of parentheses.

Anyway, the reason why I haven't written anything in a while, is that I'm in a period of transition. As you probably know, Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You ended on November 11 (you can read what Sara has to say about it here). It was an awesome last show, and it was an awesome show in general. Thanks to Sara, who is one of the sweetest, funniest, all-around-best people I know, for getting me involved with it. Still, having it end has been sad, and it's sort of made me wonder what I should do next. I'm at a crossroads, if you will (if you will allow me to be pretentious, that is).

What's next for me? That's what I'm trying to decide. Recently I contributed (for the first time) a bit to Andres Du Bouchet's excellent show Giant Tuesday Night of Amazing Inventions and Also There is a Game. It went over okay, I think (at least, it didn't stick out like a sore thumb), and I hope to contribute more material to that show, whenever they'll have me (although I won't have the sort of "official" involvement that I had with SSIOWY). Jest.com doesn't appear to be updating anymore, but I hope to be involved in an all-new comedy website soon-- although I can't yet give any details. My friend Fed is planning a series of comedy podcasts, a TV series in online form, and I'm going to be one of the writers for that (and I may show up in a guest spot or two). More news on that as it develops. I'm also planning to write a screenplay, just as soon as I can figure out what I want to write about. If anyone pitches an idea to me that I decide to use, I promise to give them 1% of any money I make from the sale of said theoretical script. 1% of a likely $0.00! You can't beat that, so send those ideas in! Maybe I'll do some more stand-up. There's been some vague discussion of a sketch group with some friends of mine. And I've been taking the "Writing for The Daily Show" class over at The P.I.T. So feel free to hire me, Daily Show. But as for a solid new direction, who knows?

Anyway, in the meantime, if you're jonesing for your Dan fix, you can see me at Church Basement on December the 19th at 8 PM. I'll be delivering a couple of my high-larious essays at this bi-monthly reading series, at Mickey's Blue Room on Avenue C between 10th and 1th Streets. Also, if you want to see me at a more social, but still comedy-related, function, you can come to the party to celebrate/ mourn the sad end of Juvie Hall. It's at Slainte (directions behind the link) starting at 7 PM on December 19. You'll recognize me. I'll be the one crying into my beer.

And now, to reward you for slogging through all of that text, here are some photographs of the final Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You, courtesy of one of my SSIOWY co-writers, the inimitable Kara Lee Burk:









Oh, the misty watercolored memories...

Obsessed... NO MORE!

As The Apiary reported recently Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You is soon to be no more. This Friday, November the 11th, at 8 PM, the final SSIOWY will kick off, and when it's done, that's it. After two critically acclaimed years (1/4 of which featured me) the show is done.

Why? Because all good things must eventually die, little cricket. But that doesn't make them any less sweet. Ah sweet comedy show, we hardly knew ye. Perhaps your death will fertilize the ground for many comedy shows to come.

Plus, now that Sara's married, she just can't be as obsessed with you anymore. Sorry, that's just the way things go. She's so over you. Why can't you move on?

Still, that doesn't mean that you and she can't have one last fling, for old times' sake. Snag a ticket if you can. And if they're sold out, fear not. The waiting list for SSIOWY usually gets a few extra people in the door, so if you're interested, show up at eight and slap your name on that puppy.

Juvie Hall Sketch Comedy Theatre
24 Bond Street, btw Bowery & Lafayette
Tickets $8, through Smarttix 212-868-4444, www.smarttix.com, or at the door

Meanwhile, does anyone want to give me a job? Comedy or otherwise?

Jest Alert

I've got a new piece up at Jest.com. Read it here.

Oh, The Things That I've Written!

My 2nd "Can't Miss Movie Pitch" column is up at Jest.com. Read it, if time weighs heavy on your hands.

Cocktail Hour a SMASHing Success

The Cocktail Hour website has an episode guide up, detailing the episode for which I was a guest. I'd like to point out that any drinking game I was playing was unintentional. It may have looked like I was taking a drink whenever anyone talked, but I was merely following my usual policy of taking a drink every 2.5 seconds. Obviously.

This is the hit sketch team Frowned Upon, otherwise known as D'Arce and Dev of The Cocktail Hour fame. Devon is the one in the cart, and D'Arcy is the one denying him the bag of dehydrated lentils he so desperately wants.