The Flop House Movie Minute #28 - Criterion Collection

Lou Fernandez of Loureads.com helps us out by lending his melifluous pipes and his sophisticated producing style to this advertisement.

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Tonight! FINAL SHOW of the Run!

7 PM @ The Magnet Theater
254 W. 29th Street, NY, NY
Tix $5 - Cheap beer available too!

The Flop House: Episode #41 - 12 Rounds

Dan was out of town this weekend, so he didn't have time to write full show notes for this episode, but he did have time to post it, and HERE IT IS!

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The Flop House Movie Minute #27 - Oscars Double Down

Thanks to recording in advance, we're a little late to the party discussing the Oscar Best Picture change.

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The Flop House Episode Forty is ONLINE

We come not to bury Jason Voorhees, but to praise him... or as much as you can praise anyone whose only purpose in life is to machete teens. Meanwhile Dan criticizes one of the victims' masturbation technique; Elliott gets schooled, Woody Harrelson-style; and Stuart reveals a fondness for womens' breasts that he has somehow managed to keep completely under wraps until now.

0:00 - 0:35 - Introduction and theme
0:36 - 39:20 - We apparently have more to say about Friday the 13th than any movie we've watched previously.
39:21 - 43:40- The most shocking final judgments yet.
43:41 - 51:24 - Listener mail
51:25 - 56:06 - In lieu of film recommendation, a slew of plugs, for a zine, Elliott's film series, and Dan's sketch group.
56:07 - 56:42 - Goodbyes, theme and outtakes.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Friday the 13th

Again, if you want to buy the I LOVE BAD MOVIES zine, with writing from both Dan and Elliott, you can do so HERE. (We get no kickback.)

Here's a nice article about Elliott's film series.

A Terrifying Truth

I Can Has Birthday

My brother John sent me this LOL Birthday card that he threw together. It's a startlingly accurate depiction of my lifestyle.

The Flop House Episode Thirty-Nine is ONLINE!

This week we take a look at the movie that made us famous... or at least led to this interview. That's right, we tackle Bride Wars. Meanwhile guest host Amanda explains Candice Bergen's magical powers, Stuart reveals his commercial catchphrase, Stuart nominates Kate Hudson to star in the film "My Slightly-Puffy Matthew McConaughey Love Interest is an Alien, and Dan fills in for Elliott's golden pipes at an unexpected juncture.

0:00 - 0:31 - Introduction and theme
0:32 - 2:22 - We introduce our guest host: stand-up comedian and comedy writer Amanda Melson.
2:23 - 31:20 - In Bride Wars, there are no winners. Only bloodstained white tulle.
31:21 - 34:23- Final judgments
34:24 - 39:02 - Listener mail, and a revelation about Dan's slumlord background.
39:03 - 45:40 - The sad bastards recommend
45:41 - 47:24 - Goodbyes, theme and outtakes.

If you like Amanda Melson in this episode, check out this Comedy Central stand-up clip. VIDEO! FUN!

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Wikipedia synopsis of Bride Wars

We Get All the Best Dead Celebrity Endorsements

The Flop House Episode #38 is ONLINE

Seemingly produced to answer the never-issued challenge, "can Disney make a movie to simultaneously appeal to kids and Paris Hilton?" this week we talk about Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Meanwhile Stuart reveals his commercial catchphrase, Elliott despairs over the sexualization of dogs, and Dan repeats several actionable celebrity slurs.

0:00 - 0:41 - Introduction and theme
0:42 - 31:36 - We discuss Beverly Hills Chihuahua, the movie that made talking Chihuahuas a national sensation. Wait... I'm thinking of Taco Bell.
31:36 - 38:38 - Final judgments
38:39 - 46:00 - After some hilarity about the Civil War, we read a letter from a listener.
46:01 - 53:19 - The sad bastards recommend
53:20 - 55:35 - Dan reveals a shameful talent for remembering celebrity nude scenes, followed by goodbyes, theme and outtakes.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Beverly Hills Chihuahua

More Sketch Show Dates!

Is 2009 the year of the Whitepants? Probably not, but July certainly is the month of the Whitepants. My sketch group, Mr. Whitepants is doing several shows in July-- and at a reasonable hour (not like the nearly-midnight shows of May).
















You can see us on
Friday, July 3, 17, and 24 at 7 PM* -- that's nearly a whole month of Whitepants!
@ The Magnet Theater
254 W. 29th Street, NY, NY
Tix $5 - Cheap beer available!

*You can also see the rest of the group on July 10 in the same time slot, but that's my wife's 30th b-day, so I'm taking it off to celebrate with her. And, really, why would you want to see the show without ME?

9 AM Meeting: Episode Two - Fashion Follies

Production/ editing/ illustration/ music by me. Writing and voice work by me and Matt Koff.

The Flop House Movie Minute #25 - Remake Reuse Recycle

Elliott lists some terrible remake ideas, while Stu contributes a remake he'd like to see.

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The Flop House Episode #37 is ONLINE

When America said, "Surely they can't make a dull movie starring Will Smith," Hollywood responded, "Oh yeah?" and gave us Seven Pounds of proof. Meanwhile Dan exhibits his terrible taste in painters, Stuart explains how this movie would improve with the addition of Jeff Fahey, and Elliott reveals his sadistic side.

0:00 - 0:31 - Introduction and theme
0:34 - 27:04 - Will Smith. Rosario Dawson. A Jellyfish. How could this possibly go wrong? We discuss Seven Pounds.
27:05 - 29:50 - Final judgments
29:51 - 34:38 - The sad bastards recommend.
34:39 - 40:04 - Some last minute bitching and moaning about Seven Pounds, followed by goodbyes, theme and outtakes.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Seven Pounds

Situations in Which is Acceptable to Nickname Someone "Wheels"

• This person rides a motorcycle.
• This person is in a wheelchair and is also a member of a group of teenage detectives and/or a team of teenage superheroes.
• This person is the getaway driver for a gang of bank robbers.
  
• This person is a 1950's greaser.
• This person has just gotten their car stolen (ironic).
• This person is a robot (specifically the type of robot with wheels. A "Johnny-5" style robot who moves using tank-style treads would be called "Treads." A robot with two legs would be called "Bob" or whatever the robot's name happens to be).
• This person is a wheeled robot that has had its wheels stolen (ironic).
• This person has had their feet replaced with wheels.

Situations in Which it is NOT Acceptable to Nickname Someone Wheels:

• All others.
  

The Flop House Movie Minute #24 - 18 Again, Again

America swaps bodies with its younger self, to go back to a time when body-swap movies were popular.

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Abominable Snowman Comedy

Check out my friend Frank Lesser's new humor piece over at Slate. I had the privilege to provide a few notes during the writing process, but all the hilarity is courtesy of Mr. Lesser. Read it and support the dying art of prose humor.

Things I've Seen on the Street Recently that Might Conceivably Make an Irritating Person Think, "Only in New York!"

(1.) A man balancing a live cat on his head.

(2.) A large gong.

The Return of Gchat Theater

[Curtain parts.  Dan McCoy sits at his computer, Google chatting with his friend Jack Kukoda]

me: http://tinyurl.com/dcfrgk

  Those hams are fixin' to catch up a mess 'o fish!

 Jack: hahahaha

 me: Then I imagine they'll fry those fish up in their own squeezings.

 Jack: i love it

  where do you find these?

  

 me: I saw some review of it on website about new books.

  Apparently it's the 2nd in a series.I can't imagine that the premise can sustain much longer.

 Jack: and it's spelled "squeezins'"

 

 Jack: no "g"

 me: True.

 Apparently, they're two little girls who fell into the machinery at a canned ham factory.

  Which, of course, turned them into anthropomorphic hams.

 Jack: no way

  really?

 me: You read about it in the news all the time.

  But when it happens to young girls...

  Tragic.

 Jack: my god

 that's just asking for kids to throw themselves into ham cannery machinery

  while on field trips to ham canneries

 me: http://www.henriettaham.com/

 Jack: my god

what were these girls doing in a ham cannery?

  i will give them credit for maintaining a positive outlook on life

  seeing as how they have their whole lives ahead of them

  with no chance of finding a husband or giving birth

  due to them being hams

 me: Well, I imagine they're beyond petty human concerns now.

  Being hams.

 Jack: yes

  they have the sageness that comes with being a ham

 they've transcended their human forms

 me: also the oraganoness

 Jack: you win

 me: BOOM

  I DROPPED THE BOMB ON YOU

 Jack: although you misspelled oregano

 me: Damn me.

  Were I a ham, I'd know better.

The Flop House Episode Thirty-Six is ONLINE

What's the perfect formula for a Christmas blockbuster? Take a character that only comics fans are familiar with, and give it to a first-time director who's only interested in recapturing the look of his own Sin City. Wait, blockbuster is an alternate spelling for "flop," right? We discuss The Spirit. Meanwhile we learn that Stuart is unpopular with South American police, Elliott takes us back to a magical time when shitty comics artists were considered celebrities big enough to appear in commercials, and Dan reveals a surprising a capella fan of the show.

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme
0:34 - 31:12 - After a brief trip south of the border, we talk about The Spirit. The movie that manages to make superheroes dull and cleavage unsexy.
31:13 - 33:24 - Final judgments
33:25 - 42:27 - The sad bastards recommend
42:28 - 46:09 - A little talk about ghosts and Jedi molestation, followed by goodbyes, theme and outtakes.

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Wikipedia synopsis of The Spirit

Sketch Comedy TONIGHT!

Hate that refreshed, "rested" feeling you get with a full night's sleep? Why not come to my absurdly late comedy show tonight?














a sketch show
@ The Magnet Theater
254 W. 29th Street, NY, NY
May 1, 11:30 PM, $5
Cheap beer!

Follow Mr. Whitepants on Twitter!

The Flop House: Episode #35 is ONLINE

Sometimes even the best of intentions, combined with a deep and abiding religious faith, can still result in a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad movie. We watch Fireproof. Meanwhile, Elliott reveals why he's so easily amused, Stuart reminisces about a nacho altercation, and Dan talks like a little girl (intentionally this time).

0:00 - 0:35 - Introduction and theme.
0:36 - 29:03 - We are way, way too soft on Fireproof, in order to avoid ticking off our vast audience of evangelical listeners.
29:04 - 35:26 - Final judgments.
35:27 - 44:39 - A letter from a listener illuminates important Flop House guidelines.
44:40 - 55:09 - The sad bastards recommend.
55:10 - 57:34 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Fireproof

The Flop House Movie Minute #23 - Twisted Trailers 3: Your Sister is a Werewolf

Even more trailers for upcoming films.

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The Flop House: Episode #34 - Mirrors

We watch Kiefer Sutherland in Mirrors. We mean the movie-- we didn't break into his bathroom or anything. Meanwhile, Elliott pitches a crypt keeper movie, Dan inadvertently casts Dean Martin in his greatest role ever, and Stuart has a little problem comprehending the film's ending.

0:00 - 0:38 - Introduction and theme.
0:39 - 30:46 - Is Mirrors scarier or less scary than any other horror film starring an inanimate object?
30:47 - 33:46 - Final judgments.
33:47 - 43:35 - Letters from listeners and a window into Dan's low self esteem.
43:36 - 49:25 - The sad bastards recommend.
49:26 - 50:11 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Mirrors

This Sunday!

a sketch show
@ The Magnet Theater
254 W. 29th Street, NY, NY
March 29, 6:30 PM, $5

Rejected From Rejected TONIGHT.

Come eat free cupcakes and hear me read. And check out this short write-up here.

Come See Me Read Tomorrow (3/25)

The Rejection Show presents:
REJECTED FROM REJECTED

Wednesday, March 25, 2009
7:30pm - 9:30pm
Housing Works Book Store
126 Crosby Street
New York, NY
(Map)








Featuring pieces that were, for whatever reason, left out, declined, removed, and rejected from the recently released, critically acclaimed book, Rejected: Tales of the Failed, Dumped, and Canceled. --For established fans and/or new fans of the book, the show will also feature readings/performances from some of the book’s actual contributors.

AND live music from Erin & Her Cello!
http://www.myspace.com/erinandhercello

FREE "Rejection" CUPCAKES courtesy of http://www.lifeinapeanutshell.com

'Rejected from Rejected' is a uniquely fun, entertaining, funny, and insightful night filled with rejects of rejection and accepted rejection from rejects in the book REJECTED (or something like that).

FREE!

The Flop House Movie Minute #22 - Extended Outtakes

Since people seem to enjoy the outtakes, here's an extended peek behind the Flop House curtain and last week's episode, with even more talk of Demon Knight and other topics.

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The Flop House: Episode #33 - An American Carol

Due to outside circumstances, we had no time to post show notes (or, for that matter, edit the show beyond adding the theme/ introduction/ outtakes) this week. But enjoy the episode.

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The Watchmen Pornographic Parody No One Wants to See

In honor of Watchmen's release, I re-post this, the crudest and dumbest PhotoShop gag I've ever done:

The Flop House Movie Minute #21 - Who Watches the Watchmen's Penises?

Turns out it's Whoopi Goldberg.

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9 AM Meeting: Episode One - Apple Picking

Check out this video I did. It's the first in a series (provided that boredom and laziness don't prevent me from putting out more).



Production/ editing/ illustration/ music by me. Writing and voice work by me and Matt Koff.

Academy Awards Flopstacular 2009!

WARNING AND APOLOGY: Our Floptacular episodes must be cursed. Last year's Academy Awards show featured a nearly inaudible Elliott, and this time around Stuart's mic appears to have gone dead -- and we somehow managed to overlook this until editing time. We've done our best to "fix it in post," but it's still highly noticeable. Luckily, Stu's a rather laconic fellow anyway. We've made a real effort to increase our sound quality over the last 20 shows, so we're embarrassed that this one had issues. Please bear with us, and we'll do our best to keep this from happening again.

Anyway...

We discuss the Academy Awards, one of only eighteen nights of the year when Hollywood takes some time out of its busy schedule to honor itself. Meanwhile, Elliott takes us on a tour of old-time character actor impressions, Dan covers the Flop House red carpet, and Stuart is nearly inaudible.

0:00 - 0:26 - Theme
0:27 - 45:34 - We discuss the Oscars. Oh surely the skies will be dark tonight as all the stars are in Hollywood's Kodak Theater!
45:35 - 55:35 - Letters from listeners.
55:36 - 56:39 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes

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We promised links to the websites of listeners Chuck and Jen Lastnamewithheld, and here they are.

Here's the gay cowboy montage that Elliott co-produced for the 2005 Oscars:

Big News

The Flop House Movie Minute #20 - Pool Cleaning

Clean up in your Oscar pool the scientific way!

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The Flop House Episode Thirty-One is ONLINE!

What happens when a movie that feels like it was written in 1984, and was inspired by the 2000 election, is made in 2008? You get Swing Vote. Meanwhile, Dan reveals an uncomfortable new use for tweed, Elliott explains his new game show, and Will busts out the world's most accurate Paul Schrader impression.

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.
0:33 - 3:41 - We introduce guest host extraordinaire Will Hines.
3:42 - 33:37 - What happens when the American election comes down to JUST ONE VOTE? Wait. You say that would never happen? Shit. Then what are we gonna do about this Swing Vote movie? I guess we should just make fun of it.
33:38 - 38:23 - Final judgments. Plus: the weirdest joke ever to appear on The Flop House.
38:24 - 51:09 - Letters from listeners.
51:10 - 58:26 - The sad bastards recommend.
58:27 - 59:17 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Swing Vote

Incidentally, here's the short video mentioned during the podcast. Dan wrote it well before Swing Vote, but it covers basically the same premise in 1/60th the time (and it co-stars Elliott as the alien newscaster and former Flop House guest co-host Sara Schaefer as the non-toaster candidate).



And while we're posting videos, here's Dan and this week's guest host Will Hines in their first meeting. Will plays the 2nd employee Dan fires:

Forgotten Pulp Novels

The Building Superintendent Wore Red

I Was a Talent Scout for Death

The Meter Maid Walked by Night

Her Bust Cut Like Ice

Black is My Poodle's Heart

Shotgun Explosion at Pistol Point

A Killing Day in Murderton

She Only Loves Bearer Bonds

Two Tickets to Lust, Seat Assignment: COACH

Happy Friday the 13th!

I will be celebrating it by slaughtering you, after the audience watches you disrobe.

Valentine Advice From a Friend

My friend Frank Lesser wrote this helpful relationship guide to getting along with your genie, just in time for Valentine's Day. Why don't you run over to Slate and check it out?

The Flop House Movie Minute #19 - Oscar Bait

We make up for our lost movie minute with our longest supplemental episode yet, about how the Oscars are always wrong.

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The Flop House: Episode #30 - Bangkok Dangerous

Can a film combining a hit man, an elephant, and incredible ham Nic Cage possibly be boring? You might be surprised. Yeah. We watched Bangkok Dangerous. Meanwhile, Elliott lists some little-known mob films, Stuart admires the Sarlaac's chops, and Dan reveals the two words that will get him to see any movie.

0:00 - 0:31 - Introduction and theme
0:32 - 22:00 - Watch out for Nicholas Cage. That motherfucker is BANGKOK Dangerous.
22:01 - 34:35 - We get bored of talking about Bangkok Dangerous, and quickly digress into talk of AVP2, pornography, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Zombie Strippers, Return of the Jedi, and Hitman (with a little more Bangkok Dangerous thrown in as anti-spice)
34:36 - 39:28 - Final judgments
39:30 - 46:59 - Letters from listeners.
47:00 - 52:35- The sad bastards recommend.
52:36 - 53:54 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes

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Wikipedia synopsis of Bangkok Dangerous

A Portrait of the Artist as a Wicker Man

Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a bee flying along the road and this bee that was flying along the road met a nicens little girl named Rowan.

Rowan was missing, or so her mother told her, “Shh. Hide, and pretend you’re gone.” She looked at her daughter through a beekeeper’s mask.

She was Rowan. The bee flew over the island where Sister Beech lived: she sold honey.

O, I am come to the low country
Och on, och on, och rie!
Without a penny in my purse
To buy a meal for me

She sang that song. That was her song.

Over at the boarding-house, where it was the 1970’s, an earlier version of Rowan’s mother played on the piano the sailor's hornpipe and danced. In the nude she danced:

I saw a maid milk a bull, fie, man, fie
I saw a maid milk a bull, who's the fool now
I saw a maid milk a bull, at every pull a bucket full
Thou hast well drunken, man, who's the fool now.

She looked a little like Brit Ekland, except for her ass, which looked kind of like a body double.

Sister Summersdale said:

-- O, Edward Malus will apologize.

Sister Honey said:

-- O, if not, the bees will come and sting out his eyes.--

Sting out his eyes,
Apologize,
Apologize,
Sting out his eyes.

We’ll put a hive over his head
And even a bear costume
Won’t protect his eyes,

Edward Malus raged against the women of the island. “You are bloody bitches!” he yelled, “Sure as you were written by Neil LaBute!”

The flames raged higher about him, as they consumed the wicker man. “And killing me won’t bring back your fecking honey!”

The ash falling from the sky was like snow. Edward watched the flakes, silver and dark, falling obliquely against the firelight. The flakes fell general all over the island. They were falling on every part of the maypole, on the beeless hills, softly falling on the bicycle he had punched that one lady to steal. It was falling, too, upon every part of the lonely churchyard on the hill where he had thought Rowan lay buried. His soul swooned slowly as he heard the crackle of his body burning and the wicker man faintly falling, as his ash fell upon all the living and he was dead.

Happy Inauguration

So I applied for a job freelancing for the ONN a while back. I didn't get it (although my friend Matt Koff did, so congratulations to him), but there were a few pitches I was pleased with (despite me having to write my entire packet in the weekend directly preceding Christmas and traveling home to Illinois). Anyway, one of them was inauguration-related, so I thought I'd post it here, since the joke will be out-of-date hereafter:

Lost MLK Speech: "I Have a Dream My Birthday Not be Overshadowed by Inauguration of First Black President."

I am HILARIOUS.

Anyway, speaking of the inauguration, I think people are being a little hard on former president Bush, so I'd like to take a moment to offer this positive message to George: Mr. President, if you prefer, you can go ahead and let the door hit you on the the ass on your way out.

Okay, that's all I've got.

The Flop House on TruTv.com

Hey, check it out -- we got interviewed over at the TruTv.com blog (you may remember it back when it was called Court TV) about The Flop House, the bad movie podcast that's taking the world by storm. Or, at least, the basic cable website parts of the world.

Congratulations, Sara

I've known this for a while, but now that it's been blogged, I feel like I don't need to sit on my public congratulations any longer. Congrats to Sara Schaefer, my longtime friend and occasional colleague, on her awesome new job as head writer for Late Night With Jimmy Fallon's website. Good work, Sara. You're the best... around. (karate montage)














Sara dances her way into Jimmy Fallon's heart.

Show TONIGHT!

Mr. Whitepants' Comedy Hour
a sketch show
@ The Magnet Theater
254 W. 29th Street, NY, NY
8 PM, $5

Come on down for some sketch comedy and cheap beer!

The Flop House Episode #29 is ONLINE!

After a holiday break, we ease into 2009 with the dance film Step Up 2: The Streets, about a girl who's a maniac, maniac on the floor. Will she dance like she's never danced before? Almost certainly. Meanwhile Stuart explains the role of texting in film titles nowadays, Elliott runs the gamut of comedy sound effects, and Dan issues a challenge to America's tweens.

0:00 - 0:31 - Introduction and theme
0:32 - 2:00 - We reintroduce ourselves, after our long winter's nap.
2:01 - 33:51- In the long tradition of dance films, this is one of them.
33:52 - 36:40 - Final judgments
36:41 - 43:25 - Letters from listeners.
43:26 - 54:33 - The sad bastards recommend, New Year's special - our top five films of the year.
54:34 - 55:50 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes

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Wikipedia synopsis of Step Up 2: The Streets

The Fruitwastersons

I had nothing to do with the production of this video, but it stars Rob Morrison (as the son) and was written by and stars Matt Koff (as the father) who are two of the writer/ performers behind Mr. Whitepants Comedy Hour, the sketch show I'm doing this Sunday at the Magnet Theater.

So think of this as an unofficial promo for the show, if you like. Otherwise, just enjoy the FRUITS of my friend Matt's labor.*



*I don't like myself, either.

By Me, Second Officer Guido Tomas!

The Flop House Movie Minute #18 - Misfit Toys

Christmas specials under the microscope.

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The music you hear in this episode is Hark the Herald Angels sing, as performed by Doug Hammer on the album Noel, courtesy of Feels Like Christmas, which provides free Christmas music for personal and nonprofit use.

The Flop House Episode Twenty-Eight is ONLINE!

How can a movie centered around a lisping, fright-wigged Dustin Hoffman possibly go wrong? Anything's possible in Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium! Meanwhile, Dan busts out another one of his 101 voices, Stuart uncovers the lost, obscene Mark Knopfler album, and Elliott reveals the rampant incompetence of medical droids.

0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme.
0:35 - 5:04 - We spend the first five minutes talking about a movie about toys that WASN'T the one we watched, released more than a decade ago.
5:05 - 11:14 - We make a brief feint at discussing Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, but quickly get sidetracked by talk of Willy Wonka and old-time character actors.
11:15 - 35:41 - We finally manage to focus on the topic at hand, the horrifying tale of a sentient toy store and its insane inhabitants. What's that? It's a kids' film? ...You sure?
35:42 - 40:05 - Final judgments.
40:06 - 44:10 - Copyright infringement, listener mail, and discussion of nude Lea Thompson.
44:11 - 46:34 - The MOST IMPORTANT SEGMENT EVER.
46:35 - 54:38 - The sad bastards recommend.
54:39 - 58:30 - Goodbyes, outtakes, and theme.

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**CORRECTION: As perhaps the whitest man alive, Elliott can be forgiven for not knowing that In Living Color aired on Fox, and not on MTV, as he stated in this episode.









Wikipedia synopsis of Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

The Flop House Movie Minute #17 - Twisted Trailers 2: Two Shades of Blue

More trailers for the biggest winter releases.

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Once You Go Bat

Hey, my friend Frank Lesser directed and co-wrote (with one of his Colbert Report writer brethren, Mike Brumm) this comedic short. It stars Ben Rodgers and the lovely Sue Galloway who I was privileged to do a few shows with, back in the day (nowadays you might recognize her as the "girl writer" in the background of all the 30 Rock writers' room scenes).

Frank let me see the rough cut of this ahead of time, and it was fun seeing it come together from the earlier versions to this final one. Anyway, enjoy:

Is it Just Me?

Or is Donald Trump about to finger that steak?


















"Yeah, you like that, Steak? You like that? Yeah you do. When Trump finger-bangs a steak, it gets fingered reeeeal classy."