me: He was eaten by an alligator-headed unicorn.
Eli: his last words were "it smells like purple"
c'mon, let's keep it going
his funeral will be held at the local planetarium accompanied by a Pink Floyd laser show
me: When asked how they'd pay for his funeral, relatives said "Put it on his tab."
Eli: nice
funeral goers are advised NOT to lick the program
me: The cemetery has added security to prevent people from eating the mushrooms growing on his grave.
His last words were, "I hear a white light."
(long pause)
me:
(long pause)
me:
The only ones I can think of now are really stupid, like "Zombie-fearing undertakers have locked the casket to avoid acid reflux."
More than a stretch.
I need to be a joke Mr. Fantastic to stretch enough to make that work.
Eli: yeah, another one i had was "his final words were 'i finally get 2001"
but i thought that was a stretch too
me: Well, we've scientifically proven how many jokes this news story has in it.
Six.
>hangs lab coat on hook<
Time for lunch!
Eli: oh, science. is there anything you can't prove?
