Monday, March 19, 2007

Recycling Center: Rejected Jokes Edition

Jokes may come and go, but rejection is eternal...

In an interview, Naomi Campbell says that yoga and anger management classes have helped her calm down, saying, “It’s amazing how calming it can be, to stretch and twist the body of my assistant.”

This year's MTV Movie Awards will feature a new category called "Best Movie Spoof," which will award the best original movie parody by fans, and prove there’s no limit to the things America can put snakes on.

The University of Illinois voted to retire their Indian mascot Chief Illiniwek. His retirement will be spent in a series of ever-smaller closets, until school expansion forces him to be donated to a local casino.

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales on Tuesday admitted, "mistakes were made," in the firings of eight top prosecutors, while Democrats threatened to subpoena whomever the passive voice referred to.

The Senate voted 89 to 9 Wednesday to begin its first formal debate on the Iraq war since Democrats took control of Congress in January. And whoever wins gets to go to the national debate team finals in… Washington D.C.? What a rip.

It was reported that Scarlett Johansson may play the lead role in a stage revival of South Pacific, leading thousands of men to volunteer to be washed right out of her hair.

Court TV has announced that it will change its name in January since most of its line-up has little to do with the courtroom. So next year, keep an eye out for its new name, “Reruns of ‘Cops’ TV.”

A man in Montana told police that he was not to blame for crashing his truck into a light post, since a unicorn was driving at the time. The unicorn became distracted after passing motorists encouraged the truck driver to honk his horn.

Angelina Jolie arrived in Vietnam on Wednesday where she is expected to adopt a 3 year-old boy, or, possibly, three one-year-old boys.

France's highest court annulled the country's only same-sex marriage this week, ruling that "under French law, marriage is a union between a man and a woman." Because if anyone’s for protecting the sanctity of marriage, it’s the French.

No comments: