A Monday Joke and A Self-Serving Link

Have a news joke:

According to the latest rumors, Jennifer Aniston is now dating Vince Vaughn. The new relationship will undoubtedly require a celebrity relationship nickname, á la "Bennifer," "Brangelina," or "Tomkat." May I be the first to suggest, "Vaginaston"?

You're welcome. I'll try to post a sample joke or two every Monday. That way, the few people who read my blog might actually find something to enjoy buried in this collection of news and plugs.

Oh, and regarding the aforementioned Rachel Kramer Bussell, comedy aficionado and spanking editrix, I should point you all here (even though the post is pretty much a direct result of me mentioning her terrific and ongoing SSIOWY coverage in her blog previously-- and in return I'm mentioning that responsive mention of me in her blog in my blog. Thus, the infinite regress of the Internet continues unabated, I continue to self-promote, and all is right with the world).

All Over the Internet Like Free Porn

I got my first mention in The Apiary which is kind of like a gossip-column-blog, specifically covering New York comedians and the New York comedy community. It's the sort of thing people like me read, secretly hoping to see their name. And now I have. Which was exciting. Plus, they were nice enough to link to this very page.

Anyway, my name-check was part of a discussion of the last (sold out!) Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You, with special musical guest Lisa Loeb. I was really pleased with this episode. I got to take the first pass at the time-travel plot, and the extra time we had to prepare gave me and all the writers-- the astounding Patrick Stubbins, Amanda Melson, Kara Lee Burk, and Sara herself-- a ton of time to punch up and expand on the script and make it high-larious. Some key plot points-- Amanda played "future Sara Schaefer," (despite looking nothing like Sara), who came back in time as to warn Sara about the doom that would befall everyone at the end of the show, but refused to give specifics for fear of changing the future. Kara Lee played "future Dan" (SARA: In the future you're a woman? ME: Yeah... turns out I've got a lot of unresolved issues that I won't deal with for another couple of years.") who came back in time with no scruples about changing the future. Eventually future Dan became Sara's personal assistant, helping with the aid of her total knowledge of the future, and I ended up getting drunk and sleeping with the future version of myself. At the end of the show we discover that the horrible thing that was going to happen at the end of the show was that all the messing with time has changed SSIOWY's theater into a movie house showing Ashton Kutcher's "The Butterfly Effect." Thankfully we're all saved from having to watch it by future Dan, who has brought back a tape of Sara's future E! True Hollywood Story, detailing her rise to fame. Thus, everything ends happily.

The guests were also great. Lisa is just as cute as you would imagine, and she played three songs, including "Stay." It was one of those moments, where I was like, "Hey, I remember watching this video on MTV in high school. And now I'm standing back stage at a show for which I'm a writer, and she's playing it live," where I felt like, even if my career goes no further, this is kind of wonderful. That moment eventually passed though. Please pay me for my writing. Also, Chris Genoa, the novelist (and Sara's fiancee) was very funny-- you should read the post on The Apiary for more details.

In addition to the shout-out at The Apiary, Rachel Kramer Bussel, the famed Lusty Lady and comedy fan wrote about us on her comedy weblog. She's been a big fan of Sara's show since way back-- certainly long before I was even involved with it, and I know everyone appreciates all her support (she even wrote a great interview with Sarah for Gothamist some time back). Anyway, like I said, it was a good show. We had three cameras taping it, along with some special sound equipment, etc., so maybe it'll get us into some comedy festival or something.

Also, The Apiary mentioned that Jest Magazine's going national. They also call it "Mad Magazine for manchildren," which, to be honest, is pretty fair. I'm just glad people are paying attention, as I've been contributing regularly for almost a year now and I love it when the rag gets any publicity. Also, I actually got my first fan letter in Jest's most recent issue. Maybe I'll type it up for you guys when I get a chance.

Say... Who's the Musical Guest at this Week's Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You?

Well, here's a little hint:


















In addition to our musical guest, Sarah will be interviewing Chris Genoa, novelist... and her fiancee. Pre-marital sparks are sure to fly. Also, someone might act like a monkey.

See the show at Juvie Hall Sketch Comedy Theater, this Friday, June 17th at 8 PM. The address? 24 Bond Street, btw Bowery & Lafayette. Tickets are $8, through SmartTix 212-868-4444, or at the door. Seats are going fast.

...Oh, and happy birthday to me, this Sunday.

Factory Approved

Congratulations to Sara Schaefer, my pseudo-late-night-talk-show-boss, who appeared on last week's Best Week Ever.

So if you see her on the street, be sure to walk right up and slap one of these stickers onto her:



Oh, and a reminder: I can be seen at Church Basement, tonight at 8.

June Newsletter - See Dan on the 6th, 12th, or 17th

I will be at the one Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You this month, on Friday, June 17. Why only one show? Because this is a special "taping" show, utilizing heretofore unimagined (at least for SSIOWY) three-camera technology, personal microphones, and all sorts of other electronic geegaws, in order to produce an immaculate record of this event. I'm sure Sara has big plans for the tape, but I have no idea what they are. Still, you should come and be immortalized on the soundtrack as a faceless laugher. What higher calling could man or woman know?

Speaking of Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You, was that fellow SSIOWY writer Patrick Stubbins, on Friday's "Late Night With Conan O'Brian," playing one of the victims of the dreaded "Paper-Cut Ninja"? Why, I believe it was!

All right, new paragraph, wherin-- unlike the previous paragraph-- I promise to NOT write in the breathless style of a tabloid gossip columnist. I will be appearing at the reading and comedy series "Church Basement" this coming Monday the 6th, at 8 PM. It's a bi-monthly show, hosted by Jack Kukoda, at Mickey's Blue Room, on Avenue C between 10th and 11th streets (check out churchbasement.com for more details). It's a new venue for me. Will I triumph, or will I suck it? Only time will tell.

Hope to see you sometime in June.

BACK STAGE Couldn't Love Us More on Their Lovin'-est Day if They Had an Electrified Lovin' Machine

Today's "Back Stage" (the newspaper for actors) listed two shows I'm in as part of their annual list of comedy profiles, or "Comedy Best Bets 2005: 10 [Comedians] Worth Watching."

Firstly, the lovely Sara Schaefer graces the cover, in her traditional "I'm strangling two businessmen with their ties, while I gaze at you in a sultry manner" pose. Her picture is essentially the only one on the cover, taking up about a fourth of the page-- just to get the whole strangling/ sultry thing across. The article inside is terrific too. Sadly, (since I'm an attention whore) I'm not mentioned in the list of writers, since the press materials the writer was working from pre-date my time on the show; but really, who cares? It's great publicity, and I couldn't be happier for Sara, who deserves all the accolades she gets. She puts her heart into that show, and she's Aces.

Also, Erik Marcisak, the manager/ producer of Juvie Hall is profiled, with a special focus on Saturday Night Rewritten. I'm glad that Erik is getting the attention he deserves for providing an up-and-coming alternative to the big comedy houses in the city, and creating the only theater in NYC with a special focus on sketch. I would also like to take special note of one particular part of the article, which singles out one SNR bit to highlight:

"We especially liked a sketch in which a man was cursed with an ever-present voiceover narration, which was particularly funny in a bar, as he tried to socialize and hook up. It was fast-paced and had some very charismatic and funny performances."

Who wrote the sketch that so delighted Back Stage? Dear readers, I cannot lie. It was me. (Well, I cannot lie when lying would mean I'd miss an opportunity to brag. I can lie like a fiend otherwise.)

Anyway, thank you Back Stage for writing about us. We can only hope the publicity leads to us... y'know... actually getting paid for this nonsense.

Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You TONIGHT

Tonight is my historic second show as a writer for the hit live talk show, Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You.

Sara's show is "Charming, funny, sweet, and nutty," according to noted author Jonathan Ames, and I couldn't be happier to be writing for it. Plus, if you drop by you might see me onstage. You may even see me get trapped inside a piece of office equipment... or have I said too much?

See it at Juvie Hall Sketch Comedy Theater, this Friday, May 6th at 8 PM. The address? 24 Bond Street, btw Bowery & Lafayette. Tickets are $8, through SmartTix 212-868-4444, or at the door.

Tonight's guest: Nick Sagan-- son to Carl "billions and billions" Sagan, a science fiction novelist, and a writer of multiple Star Trek episodes. Come see him, as well as our special musical guest Jamay, and the de rigeur Law and Order guest. Plus, all-new Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You shirts will be available for purchase. Buy one now before Sara becomes big and famous and too mainstream for her shirt to be "cool."

We're Rocking the Free Newspapers

Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You is featured in today's Metro. If you live in New York City and are pondering which give-away to read during your subway commute, make it Metro!

Reminder: Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You THIS FRIDAY

Remember ladies, this Friday marks my first show as a writer for the hit live talk show, Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You. You might even see me onstage.

It's a terrific show, I promise. Sara was on the "Hot List," and when has the NY Post ever steered us wrong? Okay, fairly frequently. But still, The Onion loves her, and those guys know a thing or two about comedy. Plus she's a starred pick in Time Out NY.

See it at Juvie Hall Sketch Comedy Theater, this Friday, May 6th at 8 PM. The address? 24 Bond Street, btw Bowery & Lafayette. Tickets are $8, through SmartTix 212-868-4444, or at the door.

The actor and comedian, Judah Friedlander, will be the guest. Come see him, as well as our special musical guest, and the de rigeur Law and Order guest. Plus, all-new Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You bags and shirts will be available for purchase. Let your allegience to our little comedy show be known through fashion, and be the hippest one on your block. Buy one now before Sara becomes big and famous and too mainstream for her shirt to be "cool."

Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With ME

I've just been hired as a writer for Sara Schaefer's bimonthly comedy talk show, Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You.

For those unfamiliar with the SSIOWY, it's a live stage show in the form of a late-night TV talk program. It's been featured on The NY Post's "Hot List;" has been glowingly reviewed by The Onion and the NY Press; and is a starred pick, every week, in Time Out NY. Plus, Sara recieved an Emerging Comics of New York award for "Best Host of a Variety Show" in 2004. And she's funny and adorable. You can read an interview with her here.

She's interviewed such guests as: The Daily Show's Samantha Bee; comedian Todd Barry; Air America's Marc Maron; Andy Borwitz of The Borowitz Report, and creator of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air; Jonathan Ames, the Author of Wake Up Sir!, My Less Than Secret Life, and What's Not to Love; Ben Curtis, the "Dell Dude;" Dana Snyder, the voice of Master Shake from Aqua Teen Hunger Force; and more. Plus, every show has a musical guest and a special "Law and Order Guest."

The show runs every other Friday at Juvie Hall Sketch Comedy Theater, at 8 PM (however, the show will run once a month during the Summer, returning to its normal schedule in the fall). The theater is at 24 Bond Street, btw Bowery & Lafayette. Tickets are $8, through SmartTix 212-868-4444, or at the door.

The next show is on May 6, and it will mark my first show as a writer. Judah Friedlander will be the guest (Vh1's Best Week Ever, American Splendor, Project Greenlight, and more). Other upcoming shows: May 20 (novelist Nick Sagan), June 17 (novelist Chris Genoa), July 15 (Ed Helms, The Daily Show correspondent). Come check 'em out.




Also, the Jest launch party was fun, other than the inexplicable closing of the open bar at 10:00, rather than the advertised 10:30 (Boooo! To hell with you, Delancey NYC! Don't come between a comedy writer and his booze!). I met some interesting folks, including the editor of Mad Magazine, who used to work at George Lucas's Skywalker Ranch (weird career change, there). Also, in case people are interested, apparently Jest is only going to be a pay magazine outside of New York City. Inside the city, we will remain a giveaway, at least for a little longer. So, if you've managed to find it in the past, despite our best efforts at keeping our distribution spotty and unpredictable, you should be able to keep picking it up for free in the future.

Excelsior!

Dan in the New Issue of Jest - PLUS: Jest Goes National

The May/ June issue of Jest Magazine has hit the streets, and I''ve got two pieces in it. The first is a short piece, called "Ways To Make TV More Entertaining," on page 18, and the second is titled "Highlights from the 1st Annual Softcore Porn Awards (AKA 'The Softies')" on page 41. That piece is also highlighted on the cover, proving either that (A.) it was one of the editor's favorites, or (B.) any mention of porn sells.



Also, starting with this issue, Jest has become a pay magazine ($3.99 on the newsstand, or $18.00 for a 1 year/ 6 issue subscription-- although for a limited time you can go to Jest.com, click the subscribe button, and enter the code: "cheap jester" to get a subscription for only $9.95). Plus, starting with this issue, Jest has gone national, with issues being available in 60 U.S. cities.

You can read Jest editor Frank Santopadre's thoughts on the recent changes here, and you can also see a few pieces from the current issue online (although not, unfortunately, either of mine).

Next week I'm going to a launch party for the national version of the magazine, complete with (according to the invitation), "a DJ, models, open bar, and an ice sculpture." I have it on good authority that the ice sculpture is of Michael Jackson with boys' underwear over his mouth. This is a K-L-A-S-S-Y rag I write for!

Dan Does The Movie @ The UCBT, This Tuesday the 8th at 6:30

Once again, I'll be working my Movie mojo at the UCBT, at the second (and last) of two class shows.

Come see the improvised shenanigans this Tuesday the 8th at 6:30 at the UCBT: 307 W. 26th Street, @ 8th Avenue. Entrance can be gained for a mere $5. For God's sake, spend it on comedy, not beer (then buy beer at the show).

Dan Does The Movie @ The UCBT, This Monday the 28th at 6:30

Instant Cinema, the house team that performs "The Movie" form at The Upright Citizen's Brigade Theater, describes The Movie thus:

"See everything you'd expect from a movie improvised live on stage -- dramatic camera angles, tense editing, high-flying action sequences and tender denoument.

Never-before-seen movies that span every era, every style, and every genre, but always better than anything you'd see at a multiplex."

That's as good a description of the Movie as anything (which is why I stole it). To be sure, Instant Cinema are the pros; we're just a bunch of skilled amateurs. But we're still better than the multiplex.

Come see me perform the movie with my upper-level improv class compatriots, this Monday at 6:30 at the UCBT, New York's best-respected improv comedy theater: 307 W. 26th Street, @ 8th Avenue. Entrance can be gained for a mere $5. How often can you get an hour of hilarity for only five clams?

Robots No More!

Just as all good things must come to an end, so too
must all little-known improvisational comedy groups
eventually say goodbye.

Yes, Robotski has broken up. But fear not, friends--
we wouldn't call it quits without one last farewell
performance. If not for the fans, we'd do it for the
merchandising alone (and for the profits from the
inevitable "Robotski Reunion Tour[s]").

So why not come see our final performance for old
time's sake? And if you've never seen Robotski
perform, well THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO SEE US
TOGETHER... unless, of course, you happen to see us
together eating dinner in a restaurant or something.
But that's not all that funny (other than the clumsy
way Francis eats radishes).

Where and when is this extravaganza of hilarity?

Gotham City Improv
158 West 23rd St
@ 7th Ave.
Above Monster Sushi
Friday Feb. 18 at 10pm

Will you be sharing the spotlight with anyone else?

We will be splitting the bill with a delightful group
that goes by the name "Jonely Bonely"

And how much must I pry from my wallet to gain entry?

A mere $7

Do not be sad old friends. As the saying goes, God
doesn't close a door without opening a window.
Unfortunately, it's often sleeting outside, and you
have to run and close the window, because God has no
sense of the ill-effects weather might have on a mere
mortal. Still, shed no tears for Robotski. After
all, it's not like we're being executed. Ha ha!
(Except for Fed, who is being executed. Sorry, Fed.
In retrospect that last joke was a little
insensitive.) Instead of crying with sadness, cry
with laughter at the show this Friday.

And, of course, this means you'll never have to suffer
through one of these long promotional posts again.
Huzzah.

One last time-- Robotski is:

Francis Doehner
Jacques Duvoisin
Federico Hatoum
Jonathan Kravetz
&
Dan McCoy

Robotski Says FAREWELL

Yes, after nearly two years, my improv group Robotski is calling it quits. But don't cry for us. Instead, come to our farewell show.

Friday the 18th at 10pm, we'll be doing a double bill with a group called Jonly Bonly, at Gotham City Improv. The cost will be $7-- a mere seven clams for your last chance to ever see Robotski perform together.

More information will be forthcoming soon.

Jest Magazine

The new issue of Jest is out, and I've got two pieces in it: "Jest's Fashion Time Cops" (pg. 22) and "Memos of a Sesame Street Fact Checker" (pg. 57).

You can check out some of the pieces from the new issue (unfortunately not mine) at http://www.jest.com, which also lists several locations in NYC where you can pick up the full print version.

The Humor Editor is IN

I am the humor editor for http://www.ducts.org. You should check it out.

I also did many of the illustrations, although some (for "The Clock on the Wall" and "Thousand Mile Stare") are erroneously credited to the other illustrator. Ah well. Glory is fleeting.

Dan Does The Movie at UCBT

I will be performing the "Movie" at the Upright Citizen's Brigade Theater (307 W. 26th Street), twice in late February/ early March.

The show is just what it sounds like: an improvised 25-minute movie (actually, two), each born from a single audience suggestion.

The shows will be on Monday, February 28 at 6:30 PM Tuesday, March 8 at 6:30 PM, and will set you back a mere $5.