"Captains in Space" Lost Secret: REVEALED

I was going through old documents and found this first draft of what was to be a script for my friend Fed's webseries Captains in Space back in 2008.* It ties up the one cliffhanger mystery we ever had in the show, so it would've been nice if we'd produced it, but by that time we were all sort of getting tired of the F/X heavy productions, and the way the green-screen seemed to sap performance energy.

No one probably cares about it but me, but if you ever wondered why Captain Adam disappeared and Captain Matt replaced him (other than Adam moving to San Francisco in real life) then HAVE AT IT.**

**Lots of the Captains in Space folk have gone on to better things. "Captain Matt"/ Matt Koff is currently writing for The Newlywed Game. "Spacewoman Schaefer"/ Sara Schaefer from episode 8 is a 2-time Emmy-winner for Jimmy Fallon's website. The cosmonauts / Brock Mahan and Elliott Kalan from episode 6 have written for TruTV and The Daily Show respectively. "Future Adam"/ Andrea Rosen is in every commercial ever made and can be seen in movies like The Baxter and The Ten, and--perhaps most exciting--"Frankie the shipboard computer"/ Vedette Lim is set to be a major character on the upcoming season of Tru Blood.

What have I been up to? You know... stuff.

*This is a first draft so it's WAAAAY too long and full of exposition. Trust that it would've gotten better, and that my writing has improved since then.

POLITICS!

In honor of Election Day, here's a rerun of the politically themed Captains in Space webisode, "The Venusian Candidate."



And for more vaguely political nonsense, click HERE.

Captains in Space Episode Eight: The Venusian Candidate is OUT NOW!

Leggy comedienne Sara Schaefer guest stars as Spacewoman Schaefer, a politician who's in the fight of her life to become the next President of Space. Who stands in her way? Two co-captains and a lady computer. It's decision 2089 -- who's ready to be pandered to?

ALSO: Shiny new credit sequence! And Eric Zuckerman as a hairy detective. You may have seen him earlier this year stuffing food down his pants in the hit comedy Baby Mama. And now he stuffs this episode... down his pants.

Subscribe via iTunes, download it, or watch it via YouTube, below:

THE VENUSIAN CANDIDATE

Episode Written by: Dan McCoy
Additional Material by: The Captains in Space writing staff
Producer/ Assistant Director/ Editor: Fed Hatoum
Director/ Cinematography/ Audio: Brad Bergbom
3D Modeling: Winston Johnson
Special Effects: Fed Hatoum
Special make-up effects: Dan McCoy
Theme music: Keith Burgun
Head Writer: Dan McCoy
Writing Staff: Matt Koff, Fed Hatoum, Andrew Dickerson

Cast:
Captain Fed - Fed Hatoum
Captain Matt - Matt Koff
Frankie - Vedette Lim
Spacewoman Schaefer - Sara Schaefer
Kojackal - Eric Zuckerman
Alien Newscaster - Elliott Kalan
Attack Ad Narrator - Dan McCoy

A NOTE: Some of you may notice that this episode features the same plot as that Kevin Costner flop Swing State, a film which you probably forgot about until I mentioned it right now, even though it was released one short month ago.

Let me assure you that I wrote this episode long before the movie was even in production (nearly two years ago -- yeah, that's how long we lag from script to screen. A bunch of real pros, we are), and we shot it back in November. So there's no connection between the two except for the writer of that movie and I both looked at how close the last two elections have been and came up with the same hack premise. Except my version, you know, actually makes sense, as it takes place in a fantasy science fiction world, rather than the real-life U.S.A., which has a little something called the Electoral College.

Anyway, America has already rejected Costner's version. So let's just pretend it doesn't exist, kay?

CAPTAINS IN SPACE EPISODE SEVEN!

A new Captains in Space episode is a lot like Christmas: it brings joy and happens approximately once a year. In this case, that time is now. Episode Seven is GO!

We lost a captain: Something happened to Captain Adam in Episode 6: Beauty. We gained a captain: Some guy named Captain Matt has mysteriously taken his place. But there's no time to ponder these imponderables (don't worry, we'll answer these questions in a future episode), because the Captains are in grave danger! A mysterious green gas has engulfed the ship with unexpected consequences. Plus, two mysteriously sexy visitors suddenly appear. Are they dangerous, are they aliens, do they want to mate with the Captains? I know two Captains who are hoping the answer to the last question is "yes, please."

This episode features sexy space ladies Stefanie Estes and Amy Shute, and the compositions of musical powerhouse Keith Burgun of Dinosaur Lightning.

Subscribe via iTunes, download it, or watch it via YouTube, below:




Captains in Space: A Hairy Situation

Episode Written by: Dan McCoy
Story by: Stuart Wellington
Additional Material by: The Captains in Space writing staff

Director/ Cinematography/ Audio: Brad Bergbom
Producer/ Assistant Director/ Editor/ Special Effects: Fed Hatoum
3D Modeling: Winston Johnson
Music: Keith Burgun
Head Writer: Dan McCoy
Writing Staff: Matt Koff, Fed Hatoum, Andrew Dickerson

Cast:
Captain Fed - Fed Hatoum
Captain Matt - Matt Koff
Frankie - Vedette Lim
Space Girlfriend One - Stefanie Estes
Space Girlfriend Two - Amy Shute

Big in Canada

Captains in Space was featured on Canadian cable TV show "Torrent TV" on G4. Check it out! We've made the leap to television! Sort of.*

In other Captains news, we'll be getting together to shoot TWO all-new episodes this weekend, so look for those to come out soon (and a little more regularly than they have in the past). These will also be the first episodes to feature Captain Matt as a full-time replacement for the departing Captain Adam. Can you resist a show starring this guy?:



















*Yeah, I know that "Canadian" "cable" and "G4" are three strikes that limit the probable TV viewership for that episode to about 13, but these days, what with our U.S. economic slump, writers' strikes and such, 13 Canadian viewers = like 52 American. That's the way these things work, right?

Captains in Space on the Radio Tonight!

Mr. Federico Hatoum Esq., A.K.A. Captain Fed A.K.A. producer/co-director/editor/special effects supervisor for Captains in Space will be on East Village Radio show Fist City tonight at 9, to discuss the series. (If you want to be sure not to miss it, subscribe to the podcast feed.) Yes, a podcast being discussed on an Internet radio show that is also a podcast. Your computer may explode with the insignificance. Was Fed booked simply because the hosts of Fist City make a cameo appearance in the latest episode? You'll have to listen to find out!*


*Actually, you could probably just guess the answer.

Hey Everyone - I'm Podcasting!

So... what's new with you? Nothing? That's cool. Me? Well I'VE STARTED A PODCAST.

Yeah, sure, Captains in Space is technically a video podcast, but this is the first podcast that I'm personally producing. And it's free of all those pesky "pictures," which makes it all the easier to enjoy in a crowded subway, or while driving your car.

What's the podcast? It's called The Flop House. What's it about? It's about me and my friends Simon Fisher and Stuart Wellington getting together, having a drink or two, watching a bad movie (usually one released in the last few years), and then discussing it. And you get to listen. What fun for you! What could be more exciting than three dudes rambling into a cheap microphone? (Speaking of which, I apologize for the questionable audio quality of this first installment - I learned a lot producing and editing it, which will be applied to all future recordings).

What's on tap for the first episode? Let's read from the official Flop House blog:

The Flop House: Episode One - Stealth

In the inaugural episode of The Flop House, the team examines Rob Cohen's fighter-plane-run-amok film Stealth. Meanwhile, Simon discusses sex toys, Stuart does some video store filing, and Dan mispronounces "sentient" a lot.

Also, the gang recommends a few things that don't suck.

0:00 - 1:10 - Introductions, themes, and such.
1:10 - 21:30 - Stealth. Fun factory, or snore factory?
21:30 - 24:30 - Final Judgments
24:30 - 29:10 - The sad bastards recommend.
29:10 - 30:28 - It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. Also to the Flop House.

Look for new episodes bimonthly (although the second one may be slightly delayed due to a Stuart business trip). To subscribe to have new episodes delivered directly to you as they're released, paste theflophouse.libsyn.com/rss into iTunes, or your favorite podcatching software.









The super-geniuses behind the Flop House.

CAPTAINS IN SPACE EPISODE SIX!

Sure it's been a while. Okay, 11 months to be exact. I could explain why it took so long for the newest episode to come out... but, honestly, it's boring. Wouldn't you rather be using that valuable time watching the latest episode of Captains in Space? Just think of us as if we're a BBC show or something, where you're lucky if you even get six episodes total.

The latest episode, Beauty, is our biggest and most complex yet, with seven speaking parts, and the cutting-edge Lost in Space-quality special effects you've come to expect from Captains in Space.

Download the high-quality video file here, or subscribe to the iTunes podcast feed to have it delivered to your computer to import to your video iPod. (Ooh! Portable! Show it to all your friends!)

Or, if you like your video fuzzy and blurred, click on the YouTube version below.



Captains in Space: Beauty

Episode Written by: Matt Koff
Additional Material by: The Captains in Space writing staff

Director/ Cinematography/ Audio: Brad Bergbom
Producer/ Assistant Director/ Editor/ Special Effects: Fed Hatoum
3D Modeling: Winston Johnson
Head Writer: Dan McCoy
Writing Staff: Matt Koff, Fed Hatoum, Andrew Dickerson
Writing Consultants: Erik Marcisak, Adam Walden

Cast:
Captain Fed - Fed Hatoum
Captain Adam - Adam Walden
Frankie - Vedette Lim
Robo-Dan - Dan McCoy
Cosmonaut One - Brock Mahan
Cosmonaut Two - Elliott Kalan
??? - Matt Koff

Who Wants to See a Video When You Can Hear a Sketch?

Here's something a little different. To celebrate the 131st-and-one-month anniversary of the patenting of the telephone, I present this audio sketch, written/edited/mixed by me (listen to it with headphones, for the full stereo effect), and featuring the vocal talents of Fed Hatoum and myself.

Profiles in History: The First Phone Call (Quicktime file)












Thanks to Fed for hosting the sketch on the Captains in Space site.

Captains, Live! (Redux)

We will be showing the most recent two episodes of Captains in Space (a.k.a. the ones that I wrote) at Manhattan Comedy Collective's "Turkey Shorts" film festival this Wednesday at 8, at Jimmy's No. 43, an East Village bar and restaurant. Tickets are $7. I will be on hand, along with Captain Fed and Captain Adam, to introduce the episodes.

Featuring other short films by Central Park West Studios, Jessica Delfino, Brent Hankins and The Average Joe Cooking Show. Stop by Jimmy's for the best in short comedies, and have a Thanksgiving feast of free popcorn.

A Trivial Diversion

Things have been a little intermittent and variable around here lately. Some of this is because I've been doing some freelance writing for blufr.com.


Powered by Answers.com:
free online dictionary and more


...which, by the way, was created by my old Robotski cohort, Jacob. So that's been taking up some of my extra time. Still, I'll keep talking to you all when I can grab a minute.

By the way, thanks to The Apiary for including the latest episode of Captains in Space in this week's New Video Wednesday.

Captains in Space: Episode Five, "Proms Away," ONLINE!

Well, we took the summer off, and I'm sure it was a difficult wait for all of you, but our long national nightmare is over. Episode Five: Proms Away is online and ready to watch.

I wrote this episode, and it stars the usual gang of Federico Hatoum, Adam Walden, and Vedette Lim as Frankie. Oh, and who's that guest starring? Why, it's me! Yes, watch my star turn as "Robo-Dan" and finally fulfill your dream of seeing my doughy face covered in silver make-up. What does Captain Fed have to say about my performance?

It guest stars Captains scribe Dan McCoy in a role that will surely redefine the way we all see him. Remember when Harrison Ford played a bad guy in "What Lies Beneath", how everyone was, like, "Wow, that's really a different kind of role for him"? This will be similar.

Check out the site to view/read about the episode, or just download it directly, here.

If you have a video iPod, you can subscribe to Captains in Space on iTunes: search for "captains in space" and click the subscribe button, or use this link.

Or, if you're lazy and don't mind a lower-resolution picture you can just view the episode via YouTube:

The First Captains in Space Fan Art

Wow-- some enterprising Livejournal user has created a series of icons immortalizing some Captains in Space quotes. Check them out here (scroll down; they start at #61). Even better, numbers 62, 64, and 65 are from the episode I wrote.

Also, if you're wondering where Captains in Space has been, the answer is that, like many shows, we've been in reruns over the summer. However, Captain Fed is working on editing the first episode of Season Two as we speak (well, not as we speak. Right now he's sitting in his office at work. But you know what I mean).

The next episode will be the most technically complex one yet, and aside from being written by me, it also features me in a guest-starring role. Why am I so self-centered? I dunno, but if it bothers you, you're probably on the wrong website.

Me, me, me!

Endorsed!

I know that you're all out there thinking "Jiminy Christmas, it's a hot summer! I could sure go for a tall, cool Captains in Space right about now!"

Well, aside from being alarmed at your out-of-date slang terms (what are you, a 1930's newspaper boy?) I certainly appreciate your interest. Sadly, it's been a busy few weeks in the spacious and gleaming Captains in Space offices, located on the top floor of Manhattan's historic Chrysler Building. So it may be just a little while longer before episode four (complete with ROBO-DAN) hits the streets.

In the meanwhile, what better to slake your thirst for all things Captains than an endorsement? Emmy-winning former "Lost" scribe, and current "Medium" co-executive producer Javier Grillo-Marxuach has posted a kind little appreciation of our series over at his blog (there's no permalink, but check out the June 19 entry). Plus, a well-placed source has indicated to me that he was a particular fan of my last episode, Future Shock.

Thank you Javier for your nice words and your generous linkage. Kids, why can't the rest of you be more like Javi? Now tuck in your shirts.

Captains in Space Episode Four, "Future Shock," Online Now

The fourth episode of Captains in Space is online, and I couldn't be more excited. Why? Because it's the first one that I wrote. And I, of course, am an egomaniac.

So you should give this one a spin. Aside from the script by yours truly, it features Andrea Rosen, whom you may recognize from her reoccuring role on Comedy Central's sadly short-lived Stella. Or perhaps you know her from Michael Showalter's "The Baxter." Or maybe you'll just think, "Hey, it's that girl from the Fig Newtons commercial." Whichever camp you belong to, I think you'll enjoy her special guest performance.

The best way to view the episode is on your video iPod (assuming, of course, that you own a video iPod). I know that some folks are still a bit scared of the whole podcasting concept, but I assure you, it's insanely easy.

1. Click on this link. It will launch iTunes, and automatically begin downloading the latest episode.

2. Depending on your settings (under Preferences -> Podcasts -> Podcast Preferences) this episode will either automatically be copied to your iPod the next time you connect it to your computer, or you can manually add it to your iPod by just dragging and dropping like a regular song.

3. New episodes will automatically be downloaded when they become available, without you doing anything. If you don't want to get 'em anymore, just click on podcasts in iTune's side menu, click on the title in your playlist, and click the unsubscribe button near the bottom of the screen.

(if you don't use iTunes, there are different podcatcher feeds at the Captains in Space website)

No fuss, no muss.

If you, like me, are a stranger to the wonders of the video iPod you can download the quicktime file here, and view it on your computer.

Easy as pie.

Lastly, if computers frighten and confuse you, just watch the low-resolution version on YouTube. Just click the big ol' play button in the middle of the screen.



Too easy to even warrant an idiomatic saying.

Anyway, thanks for checking this out... and keep your eyes open for the next episode, also written by me, in which I play a robot. I spent a whole day in silver makeup just to entertain fine folks like you. Can you resist the charms... of ROBO-DAN? (coming soon)

(Oh, and if you want to sign up for the official mailing list, just drop a line to alerts@captainsinspace.com.)

BIG doings, Tonight!

I have two shows at the Gene Frankel Underground tonight:

First, at 7:15 PM - The last of our "Captains in Space LIVE!" events:

Tonight we will be debuting an ALL NEW EPISODE, before it's available online. See it on the big screen first (you may even be privledged to see an "early cut" as Fed might tweak it based on audience reaction... so you can brag to your friends about all the great scenes that were cut from the release version, like the one where Fed crawls around on the ceiling like a spider, or the extended Frankie shower scene).

More importantly (to me, at least), this is the first Captains episode to be written by me. I helped punch up some of the other episodes, but this is the first one to be drawn entirely from my original script. So, if you didn't care for the first three episodes but love this one you can draw your own conclusions. If you loved the first three episodes, but hate this one, then clearly the problem was in the direction. You hear me, Fed!?

Both Captain Fed and I will be on hand to introduce my episode, "Future Shock," as well as episode three, "Double," and to do our little song-and-dance. But never fear if you miss the hilarity-- the new episode will be available online soon.

Second, at 10:00 PM - The final New Kalan Show at the Gene Frankel Theater

To quote Elliott's promotional email:

"Next week brings with it a momentous occasion. On thursday, May 25th, our beloved, small-audienced live fake comedy talk show will be saying its farewells to its longtime home the Gene Frankel Theater. Where's it going? Why, to a DIFFERENT underground theater, and a whole new day and time! Get ready for next month's unveiling of the all-new PRIMETIME KALAN!

But before we welcome the future, let's say goodbye to the past, with the last of 'The New Kalan Show''s and our final performance at the Gene Frankel. All your favorite Kalan characters (Erik! Brock! Dan! Devon! Elliott!) will be there! Special guest comedienne SARA SCHAEFER will be there! Shouldn't YOU be there, too?!

Plus more jokes, sketches, hijinx, emotional damage, and craziness! Help say, "Good riddance, you bastard!" to that crummy theater!"

Come see all the regular New Kalan stuff plus my tearful (?) reunion with my old SSIOWY boss. It should be great fun.






PLUS: It's not just the New Kalan's last night at the Gene Frankel theater -- it's the Manhattan Comedy Collective's last night at the theater. That's right, after tonight all the vestages of Juvie Hall and its children will be swept away forever (or to a bar a few blocks away. One or the other). To celebrate this, MC2 is putting on a special FREE improv jam at 11 PM, just following The New Kalan Show, complete with FREE Jell-o shots.

Captains.

Kalan.

Jell-o shots.

What more could you need?

The Gene Frankel Theater Underground
24 Bond Street (aka East 2nd St.)
In the East Village, on the north side of Bond Street, between Bowery & Lafayette. In the basement theater. Take the 6 to Bleeker, B/D/F/V to Broadway Lafayette, or R to Prince.

Cost:

-$5 for 10 PM show ONLY.
-$10 for entire night of shows (including both of my shows, at 7:15 and 10 and everything in-between). Includes 1 free drink ticket.

GTN Bit from 5/24/06

Here's the piece that I wrote for last night's Giant Tuesday show, which was ably performed by Andres du Bouchet as Francisco, Mike Birch as Dr. Greg, and Rob Gordon as the bum.

The Gum Bit

FRANCISCO
And now, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce Dr. Gregory Igloomaker, who has an amazing invention that he would like to share with us.

DR. GREG
Thanks Francisco.

FRANCISCO
Igloomaker, that's an interesting name. What is that, Eskimo?

DR. GREG
No. No, it's not. It's Dutch. Why would you say Eskimo?

FRANCISCO
It is less than not important. Why don't you just share your invention?

DR. GREG
Certainly. Well, Francisco, imagine for a moment that you are not a world-famous variety host, but that by day you labor away in a dull office job.

FRANCISCO
It's hard, but I think I can do it.

DR. GREG Imagine coming into work, day in, and day out. Entering data into spreadsheets. Processing, collating, faxing-- the endless tedium. Getting tired aren't you?

FRANCISCO
(sleepy--nearly hypnotized)
Yes.

DR. GREG
How about a nice cup of coffee?

FRANCISCO
Yes, please.

DR. GREG
But the pantry is so far away.

FRANCISCO
Oh no!

DR. GREG
And Alan, from accounting, forgot to brew a new pot after he finished the old one.

FRANCISCO
I hate that bastard, Alan.

DR. GREG
Don't you wish you just had coffee at your fingertips, all day long?

FRANCISCO
Don't toy with me, Igloomaker! Just give me coffee!

Dr. Greg hands Francisco a stick of gum.

FRANCISCO (cont'd)
This? But this is just a stick of gum.

DR. GREG
Wrong, Francisco. That is a cup of coffee.
(to audience)
You see, I asked myself, what is coffee, but ground coffee beans plus hot water? And what is your mouth but a hot-water-making-machine? So what I've done is suspend the grinds in a sort of natural latex, what the Native Americans called "chicle." Your saliva does the rest.

FRANCISCO
(chewing)
I can taste it brewing in my mouth!

DR. GREG
And that's not all. Just add one of my patented "flavor paks" to create premium specialty coffee. This one is Mocha Latte, and it's made from ground-up chocolate chips and coffee-mate!

Francisco dumps the packet into his mouth.

FRANCISCO
Mmm! It's like a backwash Starbucks!

DR. GREG
(pointing to the package)
That's our slogan! And the best thing is that this gum not only picks you up, but it freshens your breath with the delicious odor of secondhand coffee.

FRANCISCO
Amazing. So, do you make any other versions? Decaf, maybe?

DR. GREG
Please, Francisco; if you want decaf, chew Trident. But I am proud to introduce my new Coffee Nicotine Gum, “Cup 'o Butts.” Quit that nasty smoking habit while enjoying a steaming cup of mouth-joe.

FRANCISCO
Really? Nicotine Coffee Gum? Is that safe? It seems like concentrating the two together might create some sort of dangerous super-stimulant.

While the doctor speaks, a shabbily dressed man sidles onstage.

DR. GREG
Of course not--ask Jim Jarmusch. It's no worse than enjoying a cigarette with a pot of…

BUM
Hey, man, are you carrying?

DR. GREG
(to bum)
Not now.
(to Francisco)
As I was saying, it's no worse than…

BUM
C'mon man, I just need a fix. It's been three days. I've been chewing from the bottom of chairs.

DR. GREG
Get away!

FRANCISCO
What's going on over there? Do you know that man?

DR. GREG
No, he's probably just some homeless man who wandered in off the street, lured by the promise of alternative comedy. Don't worry.

BUM
Just one stick, Dr. Greg. My teeth are aching.

FRANCISCO
He appears to know your name.

DR. GREG
All right.
(beat)
All right, fine. Yes. Charlie here was one of our product testers. It turns out you're right Francisco. Making a Coffee Nicotine Gum somehow increased the addictive power by five hundred and twelve percent…

FRANCISCO
What an oddly specific figure.

DR. GREG
…Which means that all our testers are now addicted. But don't worry! We're working on it! That's why we've developed this Methadone Gum, to help ween people off Cup 'o Butts.

FRANCISCO
How much does the Methadone Gum cost?

DR. GREG
It retails for $250 a pack.

FRANCISCO
That's absurd! You can't solve all gum-created problems with more gum! Are you or are you not using your various flavors as gateways to addict people to ever-more-expensive gum products?

Dr. Greg makes as if to answer, then suddenly makes a break for it, running off-stage.

DR. GREG
Juan Carlos! Start the helicopter!

SFX: HELICOPTER, starting up, and then fading away. Francisco and the bum follow with their eyes, as if he's flying away. A beat.

BUM
What about you, man? You holding?

FRANCISCO
No, I am not. I'm sorry. Would you like a drink ticket?

BUM
(taking the ticket)
Enabler.

He exits. Transition, etc…

--

It went over okay... although the biggest laugh was garnered by the helicopter sound cue, and their reactions to it.

Also, if you haven't been there in a while, check out the Captains in Space website. A few new things have been posted up there-- and the latest episode (the first one written by me) should be online sometime before the end of the Memorial Day weekend. So you can look forward to that, if that's the sort of thing you look forward to.

Tonight!

May 18
@ 7:15 - I will introduce two episodes of Captains in Space, Live!
@ 10:00 - The Summer Funtime Special - I co-wrote, and will appear in this all-new sketch show.

-see previous posts for further details-

Location (all shows):

The Gene Frankel Theater Underground
24 Bond Street (aka East 2nd St.)
In the East Village, on the north side of Bond Street, between Bowery & Lafayette. In the basement theater. Take the 6 to Bleeker, B/D/F/V to Broadway Lafayette, or R to Prince.

Cost:

-$5 for 10 PM show ONLY.
-$10 for entire night of shows (including both of my shows, at 7:15 and 10 and everything in-between). Includes 1 free drink ticket.

Captains Live Tonight!

Just a reminder, the second installment of our "Captains LIVE!" Big Bang/ Manhattan Comedy Collective showings is tonight. The episodes will be there every Thursday this month, but this may be the last time both Fed and I will be on hand to introduce them.

Captains in Space
Thursday, May 11 (tonight) at 7:15 PM
The Gene Frankel Theater Underground
24 Bond Street (aka East 2nd St.)
In the East Village, on the north side of Bond Street, between Bowery & Lafayette, in the basement theater. Take the 6 to Bleeker, B/D/F/V to Broadway Lafayette, or R to Prince.

The ticket price is $10, but that entitles you to stay for the whole night of shows and gets you one free beer. Also, if you show up at 7, I think there may be a discount-- but don't quote me on that.

In related news, Captain Fed has a MySpace page. I don't know how he's able to access the internet from deep space-- perhaps the OTTO-5 comes equipped with super-powerful wi-fi. Odder still is the way he's able to access early 21st century webpages from the year 2089, but perhaps he's using one of those OhForChrissakeItsJustABit devices. They're pretty versatile.

Oh, that reminds me: if we ever make a spin-off show, it should be called Captains in MYSPACE!

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>sniff< I should get paid for this stuff.

Captains in Space, "The Theatrical Version"

Hey, are you a fan of watching things that are meant to be seen on a very small screen blown up to several times their intended size, with all the loss in resolution that entails?

Who isn't?! But it's such a pain to set up your projection TV to play on an IMAX screen. Not to mention the cost and labor of building an IMAX screen. So, instead, why don't you come see the first theatrical showing of our video podcast, as part of May's "Big Bang" at the Manhattan Comedy Collective.

Yes, that's right-- we'll be screening a rotating program of two of our Captains in Space shorts, every Thursday in May, at 7:15 PM, at The Gene Frankel Theater Underground at 24 Bond Street (East 2nd St.) in the East Village. It's on the north side of Bond Street, between Bowery & Lafayette, in the basement theater, where the 8 x 10 foot screen is sure to be kind to our non-professional blue-screen effects!

Unless I've been misguided, the ticket price is $7, but if you pay for one show, you're entitled to stay for the whole night of shows. And the entry fee includes one drink ticket. Not too shabby.

And here's a bonus, on at least the 4th and 11th of May (and possibly on the 18th and 24th, too), the shorts will be introduced by Captain Fed himself (Federico Hatoum) as well as Captains writer Dan McCoy (me). So come on, nerds-- this is time for you to get all your Captains in Space merchandise signed, or confront us about episode three, in which the captains yell so hard that the echoes travel through space, even though deep space is soundless.

In other news, if you haven't seen this video, by Giant Tuesday Night host Andres du Bouchet, you should check it out. I had absolutely nothing to do with it, but I think it's funny, and thus am pointing you that way. If you look close, you can see a cameo by Ritch Duncan, my old editor at Jest Magazine. He's a hell of a thespian, that one.

Oh, and keep the 18th at 10 PM open. I can't tell you why, yet. Just save the date. And, while you're at it, go get me a sandwich.