Whim Quarterly #3 Coming Soon!

The third issue of NYC's best printed-on-actual-paper humor magazine (dubbed "the choleric issue") is about to drop, and -- as always -- it features a contribution from yours truly. Start doing your core-strengthening laughing exercises now.

The Flop House Episode Sixty is ONLINE!

Since Dan is gone this weekend at a wedding, Flopsmas is coming early this year! Enjoy a rare Thursday-posted episode!

We'll say this for Sandra Bullock - she throws herself into every role, even the ones she shouldn't, like the lead in All About Steve. Meanwhile, Brock makes a plea for simple job competence, Dan questions the film's view of the high-stakes crosswords world, and Stuart gives a recap lesson in cookery.

0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme
0:35 - 2:30 - We reintroduce special guest host Brock Mahan.
2:31 - 36:53 - We put on our critics' high-heeled red leather boots to take on the no-rom, no-com, rom-com All About Steve
40:56 - 40:55 - Final judgments
40:56 - 44:07 - An all-comments Flop House mailbag.
48:45 - 55:07- The sad bastards recommend.
55:08 - 57:53 - Plugs, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

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Wikipedia synopsis of All About Steve

Whim Quarterly Has LAUNCHED

Whim Quarterly had its launch last night at the Three of Cups Lounge on the Lower East Side, with a night of great stand-ups, free(ish) magazine copies, and discount drinks.

To go along with its official launch, the Whim Quarterly website is now up and running with more than just magazine ordering information (although that's still the most important part - ordering a copy is the only way you'll get to read the two pieces written by me, along with all the other fantastic content*). Why don't you go check out the website. We'll wait right here.

*Why not give some for Christmas? Or Hanukkah? Or The Feast of Cthulu?

The Flop House Episode Forty-Two is ONLINE

Ask not for whom the Paul Blarts. It Blarts for thee. Meanwhile, Brock advances a novel theory about why the mall hijackers use non-lethal force; Dan is baffled by the contortions the screenwriters go through to explain normal, everyday things; and Stuart talks about his penis.

0:00 - 0:30 - Introduction and theme
0:31 - 3:09 - We introduce our guest host, Brock Mahan.
3:10 - 30:55 - We watch that mall cop movie. No, not that one. The dumb one.
30:56 - 34:00- Final judgments
34:01 - 39:42 - The sad bastards recommend.
39:43 - 40:50 - Goodbyes, theme and a special message about Stuart's penis.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Halloween Video Cavalcade!

I used to be part of a monthly talk show called "The Primetime Kalan," with my friends Elliott and Erik. Last year around this time, we had our Halloween show, which we hosted as "Ghost Hunting Club of New York," three paranormal scholars who went to various locations in the NY area, trying to catch a ghost. (A side note: our guest for that show was The Daily Show's Dan Bakkedahl, who showed up in a helmet and knee pads, claiming that he thought we were the "Go Stunting" club.)

Anyway, it's taken a year for them to show up online, but here, for the very first time, are the Primetime Kalan Ghost Hunting Videos! (Cinematography courtesy of Brock Mahan)

Video One: "Grant's Tomb" - by Elliott Kalan



Video Two: "The Jersey Devil" - by Dan McCoy



Video Three: "The Yeti of Williamsburg" by Erik Marcisak



And, as a special bonus, I offer this fourth video. It was done by Elliott, Erik, and former show director-turned-Flavor-of-Love-editor Joe Guercio long before I was involved with the Kalan show. Still, you can see that this video share many of the same themes from the ghost hunting shorts (for instance, the conviction that pipes, 80's-style montages, and Photoshop are the tickets to comedy success), proving that it was inevitable that I'd join the group eventually.

Just one bit of background: R2-D2 was Elliott's "co-host" on his show, until they decided to abandon that bit. This video was produced to explain his absence from the show, but you don't really need to know that to enjoy the video, other than one or two stray comments.

WARNING: Do not watch if you are sensitive to violence against robots

"The End of R2-D2"

Captains in Space on the Radio Tonight!

Mr. Federico Hatoum Esq., A.K.A. Captain Fed A.K.A. producer/co-director/editor/special effects supervisor for Captains in Space will be on East Village Radio show Fist City tonight at 9, to discuss the series. (If you want to be sure not to miss it, subscribe to the podcast feed.) Yes, a podcast being discussed on an Internet radio show that is also a podcast. Your computer may explode with the insignificance. Was Fed booked simply because the hosts of Fist City make a cameo appearance in the latest episode? You'll have to listen to find out!*


*Actually, you could probably just guess the answer.

I Was on Internet Radio Last Night

I was remiss in drawing attention to this, other than a mention in the upcoming shows sidebar, but I was on Elliott Kalan and Brock Mahan's East Village Radio show/ podcast Fist City last night, explaining the gospel according to Slylock Fox. If you want to catch up, you can listen to the most recent episode here. Or, if you subscribe to the podcast, check out the 8/23/07 show.

Fist City comes on at approximately the 1 hour mark, and my bit is around 1:45. Woo!

CAPTAINS IN SPACE EPISODE SIX!

Sure it's been a while. Okay, 11 months to be exact. I could explain why it took so long for the newest episode to come out... but, honestly, it's boring. Wouldn't you rather be using that valuable time watching the latest episode of Captains in Space? Just think of us as if we're a BBC show or something, where you're lucky if you even get six episodes total.

The latest episode, Beauty, is our biggest and most complex yet, with seven speaking parts, and the cutting-edge Lost in Space-quality special effects you've come to expect from Captains in Space.

Download the high-quality video file here, or subscribe to the iTunes podcast feed to have it delivered to your computer to import to your video iPod. (Ooh! Portable! Show it to all your friends!)

Or, if you like your video fuzzy and blurred, click on the YouTube version below.



Captains in Space: Beauty

Episode Written by: Matt Koff
Additional Material by: The Captains in Space writing staff

Director/ Cinematography/ Audio: Brad Bergbom
Producer/ Assistant Director/ Editor/ Special Effects: Fed Hatoum
3D Modeling: Winston Johnson
Head Writer: Dan McCoy
Writing Staff: Matt Koff, Fed Hatoum, Andrew Dickerson
Writing Consultants: Erik Marcisak, Adam Walden

Cast:
Captain Fed - Fed Hatoum
Captain Adam - Adam Walden
Frankie - Vedette Lim
Robo-Dan - Dan McCoy
Cosmonaut One - Brock Mahan
Cosmonaut Two - Elliott Kalan
??? - Matt Koff

Recycling Center: Fist City Edition

In case you missed it, here's the essay I read on Fist City last night. Of course, the best option is still to subscribe to the podcast, and listen to my mellifluous voice as I read it to you--because, really, who has the time in this busy modern world to read something for yourself? I come in at about the 45 minute mark of the show (actually the 1:45 mark on the podcast, since Fist City shares its 2-hour slot with The Rev Clempson Show). Not that you shouldn't listen to the rest of the show, as it contains much Elliott Kalan and Brock Mahan hilarity, with a guest appearance by Eric "War of the Worlds" Zuckerman.

But for those of you who read blogs, yet fear podcasts (a small minority, to be sure), here's what I read:

---

Thanks, Brock and Elliott—I’m here to discuss what is probably the most significant literary find of the last two hundred years, and, since you’ve assured me that this radio show is broadcast directly into the homes of all the Nobel Prize committee members, at least insomuch as they all probably have Internet connections, I’ve decided to unveil it here.

I have discovered a lost folio of Shakespeare, what I like to call the Director’s Cut With Alternate Endings Folio, or the “Caesar Stabbed First” Folio. It contains several surprising variations on his well-known plays, apparently the result of extensive focus testing with Globe Theatre audiences; budgetary constraints; and the ever-present danger of execution at the hand of Lord Wessex, as played by Colin Firth.

Many of the alternate versions are quite shocking. For instance, in this version of Hamlet, after everyone has apparently died, it is revealed that all the events of the play had merely been a charade set up by Hamlet’s uncle Claudius, in an attempt to cheer him up and get him to act less, quote, “Danish.” Then Rosencrantz comes in and gives Hamlet a shirt, which reads, “I wast drugged and left for dead in Elsinore, and all I received in return wast this inferior tunic,” with a logo on the back, reading “The Goodnight Sweet Prince Tour, 1502.” Similar tunics were available from Globe Theatre hot dog vendors, who, incidentally, sold real canines cooked over a spit. Apparently, this ending was insisted on by Shakespeare’s producer who, after seeing the lousy receipts for Titus Andronicus, decided that family audiences wouldn’t pay to see bloodbaths.

Or consider the original ending to The Tempest, in which the title character (The Tempest) returns to seek revenge against Ariel by throwing a series of CGI cows at her (CGI meaning, of course, Cow Gaffer Invented -- the chief carpenter apparently rigged up some pretty convincing paper mache cows). Or an early King Lear, all about a dirty old man who spends the play leering at his three daughters, a concept that was only abandoned when Christopher Marlowe told Shakespeare that he found it, “a little thin.”

Additionally, the folio contains some revealing commentary, apparently from a scholar contemporary to Shakespeare. For instance, one tidbit about “the problem plays” – so named because they have the problem of not being as good as the rest of his plays – it turns out that they’re a little uneven because they were originally just one big play, composed over a poppy-fueled long weekend, the original title being, Measure Measures All That Troilus Well for Cressida before Winter’s End, and the Tale of the Well Merchant, Timon of Athens, of Venice. It was an 18-hour mess.

And that’s not even getting into the lost plays that I found in this folio. Like Love’s Labor Won – that’s basically just wall-to-wall hardcore sex. 13th Night, where Malvolio returns wearing a rugby mask to slaughter the other characters while they’re vacationing at Camp Loch Ness, and the sequel to As You Like It, called Whatever You Want which was the first choose your own adventure play.

Oddly, I found this folio while cleaning out my garage, in a box labeled “Stuff That Didn’t Come from England,” and the paper it’s printed on has a watermark reading “Ben Franklin Bond” which would seem to date it post-Shakespeare’s lifetime by a significant margin, but I’m certain this find is genuine—so certain that I’m willing to split half of my aforementioned Nobel Prize monies with any expert that agrees with me… wink wink Harold Bloom. Anyway, the folio’s for sale, so if you’re interested, call up the studio. I’d prefer to sell to a museum, of course, but I’ll listen to anyone with cash money. Oh, yeah, no fatties.

Brock? Elliot?

I'm on Fist City Tonight!

I'll be making an appearance on popular Internets radios series Fist City tonight, reading a guest essay as part of Fist City's literary month, A.K.A. "Reading is Fistimental." I will be dropping a bombshell relating to some lost works of Shakespeare. Want more details? Listen to East Village Radio tonight at nine. Or subscribe to the podcast.

Dan Returns to Fist City TONIGHT

I've not done a lot of live comedy for a long while, as I've been working on a sure-to-be-unseen and unpurchased screenplay, but I'll be making an appearance on popular Internets radios series Fist City tonight, as the "guest essayist." What hijinx will result? Listen to East Village Radio tonight at nine and find out. Or subscribe to the podcast.

I'm on Fist City Again, TONIGHT

Could this be the birth of a new Internet radio star? Is there such a thing? Find out tonight, as I make my triumphant return to Fist City, in their super-sized second episode! And this time I do it before the final five minutes!

Here's Fist City co-host Elliott Kalan's pitch:

Alright, FIST CITY fans,

You already know that FIST CITY, your favorite online radio comedy show hosted by Brock Mahan and Elliott Kalan, is now on East Village Radio every thursday night at 9pm.

But did you know that TONIGHT, that beloved program will be appearing at 8 PM for a 2 HOUR COMEDY EXPLOSION?!

That's right, tonight at 8pm tune into www.eastvillageradio.com for the "Fist City 2nd Episode Spectacular", celebrating two amazing episodes of FIST CITY with celebrity guests, memories, and an encore presentation of Part One of the rousing pirate serial drama "Babybeard"!

Then, at 9pm, stay with us for the newest episode of FIST CITY, featuring jokes, gags, a man raised by wolves, and the world premier of Part Two of "Babybeard"!

It's twice the comedy, twice the awesomeness, twice the time! And at the same great price of FREE! Listen, won't you?

FIST CITY - TONIGHT! - 8pm - 10pm
www.eastvillageradio.com - or subscribe to the podcast.

I Was On the Radio On the Internets

Last night I was on the inaugural episode of Fist City, hosted by Elliott Kalan and Brock Mahan. You can listen to the show via streaming audio, or you can use the podcast xml to download the show to your iPod, or your Zune (Bill Gates only).

A note: Fist City is the second hour of a two hour block, the first hour being "The Rev Clempson Show, Featuring Rory Albanese." The whole show is well worth listening to (Jason Jones from the Daily Show is a guest on Rev Clempson). However, if you're a friend and/or relation and just want to skip to my guest spot, it's literally in the last five minutes of the show. Thus, since you can't skip ahead on the streaming version, I'd recommend that you download the MP3 via the podcast link, and use iTunes (or whatever) to skip ahead to the end.

I Will Be On the Radio On the Internets! Tonight!

Thanks to the miracle of streaming audio, the miracle of podcasts, or any other holiday miracle specifically dealing with the ability to hear stuff over the web, I can be heard tonight on the new show Fist City.

The show is hosted by my friends Elliott Kalan and Brock Mahan, whom you may remember from the just-ended Primetime Kalan (which I'm providing a link to, even though the final show recap was literally the post just preceding this one. Scroll bar be damned!). I'll be providing a guest essay on the first show, and will hopefully pop up from time to time thereafter, whenever they're desperate to fill airtime. I will, naturally, keep you posted.

Anyway, as always, when I'm involved in an Elliott project, I'll let him do all the promoting for me. What says he?...

--

Hello Kalan and Mahan fans,

Remember how much fun it used to be to see ELLIOTT KALAN (Metro columnist, Daily Show Segment Producer, and former host of "The Primetime Kalan") and BROCK MAHAN (TV writer and former host of "Top O' the Mahan To You") perform live onstage? And remember how unfun it used to be to actually travel to the theater they were performing in?

Well remember no more! Now, thanks to the magic of "internet radio", Brock and Elliott will appear LIVE in your house, TONIGHT!

No, we aren't breaking and entering using a magical computer device. We're performing a weekly radio humor show of sketches, bits, jokes, jackanapes, interviews, and an ongoing dramatic serial about pirates. The show's name? "FIST CITY"

"FIST CITY" will be streaming live at www.eastvillageradio.com , tonight and every Thursday night at 9pm . Can't be there for the broadcast? That's no excuse! Every episode will be available to podcast, through your regular old-fashioned iTunes, right after the show! Talk about convenience! You literally have no excuse not to listen to this show!

FIST CITY - 1st episode! Tonight! Thursday night at 9pm!






By the way, the show's the second half of a two hour block, the first hour being "The Rev. Clempson Show."

The Primetime Kalan: THE FINAL EPISODE Recap

The final Primetime Kalan was this Saturday past, and I think the occasion warrants a show synopsis.

The audience took their seats to a DVD of the world's worst cartoons, projected on the back wall, and once the (sell out) crowd was settled, things got rolling. Elliott got up and did his monologue, about his recent 25th birthday, and thathis newfound adulthood sadly means that he'll never acquire the label "child prodigy." However, it's the perfect time for a retrospective, so he introduced that evening's show "A Celebration of 25 Years of Kalan."

To help explain why this anniversary show was also the final show, Elliott brought me up to interview him. After some tension, resulting from my no-holds-barred, hardball style (I quizzed him about why he was putting me out of work), he explained that he wanted to end things now so he could go out on top. I disputed his position that doing a show in the basement of an East Village bar was, in fact, going out on top, but Elliott remained unswayed. To my query as to why he refused to sell me the name for $10,000, so I could do "The Primetime McCoy," he said that he felt a spin-off would "weaken the brand," and that it wouldn't serve the core goal of "getting the Kalan name out there." He was firm in his decision to retire to his mansion, play tennis, and contribute the occasional joke to Letterman. When I asked to visit the mansion, he said no.

We then had a video from former Primetime Kalan director (and current assistant on the Flava Flav dating show Flava of Love), Joe Guercio. He wished Elliott a happy birthday, while casually knocking over several videotapes.

This was followed by an audio greeting from Brock Mahan, Elliott's longtime writing partner. He gave Elliott a touching testimonial, taking time out from his busy life of berating a Hawaiian desk clerk for not properly booking the Aloha Suite for himself and "LonelyHousewife69."

It was then time for a look back at Elliott's turbulent life and times. A video montage of scenes from the 80's gave way to the 90's, and then to black and white cartoons and footage of the 1936 Olympics. Finally, the scene shifted to the shooting of JFK, and the eternal flame, ending with a picture of Elliott and the caption "Elliott Kalan, 1981-2006." Elliott objected that the video made it seem like he'd died, but Erik assured him that it was just "in memory" of all the entertainment he's provided, specifically between the years of '81 and '06.

Erik went on to say that there were a few memorial notices from companies whose products Elliott had consumed while alive. Goldfish Crackers sent a notice recognizing Elliott life, and spoke of plans for limited edition Elliott-flavored crackers, "in the shape of all of Elliott's favorite things," including Spider-Man, Frankenstein's monster, and soft-core Cinemax porn. Coca-Cola also sent condolences, quoting Elliott's interview in "Beverage Aficianado Magazine," in which he'd stated his desire to be buried in a casket filled with Coke, and"slowly dissolve into his favorite drink." They also sent a complimentary bottle of Coca-Cola Blak. Lastly, the makers of black t-shirts sent a message saying that "When Elliott stopped wearing black t-shirts with old horror movie posters on them, tucked into black jeans, it stopped being cool."

Then The Daily Show's John Oliver got on stage, to deliver Elliott's eulogy, over Elliott's repeated protests that he was, in fact, still alive ("Please Elliott, this is going to be emotional enough as it is, without you standing there talking.") Oliver spoke about how difficult it was to lose such a man in the same week that we lost Augusto Pinochet, continuing about the parallels between them. He had the audience play a game, in which he invited them to guess whether a given quote was from Kalan or Pinochet. (Surprisingly, "Where's my Woody Allen boxed set" was from Pinochet.) He discussed rumors that Elliott had done marvelous things like invent a new vowel, one that will now be lost to linguistic history. Summing up, he stated that he would always remember Elliott as "A man I met recently, knew for a short bit, and then died."

I had to duck out for holiday-related reasons at this point, but I know that Daily Show writer Scott Jacobson showed up to sing a heartfelt song.

Also, Elliott's son memorialized him, remembering the time his father took an unpaid internship at Dean Witter to become a stockbroker and support his family. "When I felt him hold me in his strong black arms," he said, "and felt his moustache bristling against my forehead, I knew everything would be all right." Elliott was touched, until he realized that it wasn't actually his son, just a guy reading the plot to the hit Will Smith vehicle, The Pursuit of Happyness. Revealed as actor Eric Zuckerman-- best known as "Doomsday Guy" from Stephen Spielberg's War of the Worlds, Eric announced that he would be signing autographs after the show for $5.

Then the show wrapped up with Elliott's traditional Ramble/ Rambo Room and Doogie Howser Computer Journal segments. A fitting end to an always goofy, sometimes great, often poorly-attended show.

However, cry not, because I expect to continue to work with Elliott (pretend estrangement notwithstanding). In fact, I will be appearing on his new East Village Radio show "Fist City" this Thursday the 21st at 9 PM - hopefully just the first of many appearances, that is, unless he gets too big for me, because... (important news to follow in the next paragraph)

...He's gotten a promotion. He's now not a mere Associate Segment Producer on The Daily Show, but a Segment Producer on The Daily Show. Thus, in between buying me drinks and lighting up imported cigars with $100 bills, he can call himself a television producer without the slight twinge of semantic guilt he felt in the past. Congratulations, Elliott! And Happy Birthday!













Elliott Kalan: 1981 - 2006

Last Primetime Kalan EVER

From Elliott...

Hello, Kalan fans,

It is with a heavy heart that I, Elliott Kalan, in the guise of the omniscient narrator who writes these plugs, must announce that there is an all-new episode of THE PRIMETIME KALAN on Saturday, December 16th at 8:30pm. I see you're confused. I understand. A new PRIMETIME KALAN? This is an occasion for joy and celebration! Yes, usually it would be. But this you see....is THE LAST PRIMETIME KALAN!!!!

But don't be so glum! How else could we say goodbye to this fixture of the no-budget comedy scene, but with a 25th Anniversary Spectacular! The 25th Anniversary of Elliott Kalan's birth, that is! Be there as Elliott rings in adulthood, with special guests JOHN OLIVER ("The Daily Show"), SCOTT JACOBSON (writer, "The Daily Show"), and BROCK MAHAN (almost worked at "The Daily Show" once). Plus, farewells from some of your favorite Kalan show personalities.

You will tell your grandchildren you were at this show.

THE PRIMETIME KALAN - LAST EPISODE! - Saturday, December 16th, 8:30pm

@ Jimmy 43

43 East 7th street (btwn 2nd and 3rd Ave.)

Manhattan

Tix: $5

Primetime Kalan TOMORROW!

This Saturday brings with it an all-new edition of The Primetime Kalan, New York's most popular talk/ variety program that's hosted by Elliott Kalan.

Tomorrow's show will be extra-special, because (aside from the usual hi-jinks from Elliott, Erik, and myself) our special guest will be Demetri Martin-- currently best-known for his "Trendspotting" segments on The Daily Show. You can see one such segment here, via Comedy Central's site. Or, for those who prefer hearing with their ears to seeing with their eyes, you can listen to Demetri on NPR.

Aside from the show's Demetriosity, what else is there to recommend it? How about a visit from sexpert Catherine Wing? Everything's better with "sex" as a prefix. Not enough? What if we throw in a video from Elliott and his "Hypocrites" partner Brock Mahan? More? Okay, you've twisted my arm. If you come to the show, you'll also get a free ticket to watch the post-apocalyptic action film Bronx Warriors, along with the wisecracking Kalanites, as part of our inaugural Bad Movie Night.

Sound good? Okay, I'll see you there.

THE PRIMETIME KALAN
Saturday, Sept. 23rd, 8:30pm
@ Jimmy's No. 43
43 East 7th Street
(between 2nd and 3rd avenue)
Manhattan, NY
Tix: only $5!

Oh, and while we're talking about Elliott, go on over and read his most recent column for Metro. It's the free newspaper real New Yorkers read, during that period between when a real homeless person hands it to them, and they get off the subway and toss it in a real New York trash can! For making our subway ride more palatable, we salute you, Metro!

New Primetime Kalan, Coming August 26

Hey, friends. Like I've said before, comedy slows down a bit in the summer, preferring to lie low, rather than risk a melanoma on its fair-skinned underbelly. However, things are starting to pick up again, starting with The Primetime Kalan.

Following our sell-out June show (the first in our new venue), The Primetime Kalan took a short summer break in July; but we're back in full force on August 26! Put it on your calendar now, forgetful ones! I'll probably only mention it three other times before then!

The Primetime Kalan August 26 at 8:30 PM @ Jimmy's No. 43 Located downstairs at 43 East 7th Street between 2nd and 3rd Avenue. By Subway: Take the 6 to Astor Place/ Take the R/W to 8th Street/ Take the F train to 2nd Avenue.
The cost is $5 - No drink minimum!

Our guests will be the lovely, funny Walker and Cantrell. Take a moment to visit their website, and watch their great short video, "Surviving Geddes." Or read one of the prose pieces housed there. I'm a particular fan of "So You've Knocked Over a Row of a Motorcycle Gang's Motorcyles."


















Walker and Cantrell explore the exotic world of aluminum siding.

Plus, a special appearance by the funny, lovely "Frowned Upon" (AKA Devon T. Coleman and D'Arcy Erokan).















Devon points to D'Arcy, to indicate that she is, indeed, squatting atop a pedestal.

As always, the show will also feature Elliott's patented hostly stylings, a video from Brock Mahan, and writing/ performing assistance from Erik Marcisak and myself.

The Primetime Kalan will return yet again on September the 24th. Isn't it torture to wait a whole month between these things? Better make sure to go to every show, so you can load up on Primetime Kalan goodness while you can.

Also, some friends and I have something special cooking for Halloween. So stay tuned.

A Video Done By & For Some Friends

I had no part in making the following video, but it was put together by two of my fellow Kalan writers, Brock and Erik, for Sara Schaefer's new show. So I thought you fine people might be interested. It shows two of Weird Al's new songs, and one lost "classic."

Movie Avalanche

Boy are you guys lucky today, because I have a Friday treat for you. All of the Superman movies that we shot for the June 24 episode of The Primetime Kalan are now up on YouTube, so you can finally judge who makes better Superman films-- us or Bryan Singer.

First up is the short written by me and starring me as Superman, with Elliot Kalan as "The Professor."



Here's the one Elliott wrote. It's got a funny script, but a word of warning: it was shot at the end of the day, when we'd stopped caring about things like... oh... "camerawork" and "lighting." So half of the shots are significantly darker than other shots, even though supposedly all the action is taking place in the same room at the same time. Please pretend that this is an intentional stylistic choice, and not evidence of certain Edward D. Wood Jr. tendencies on our part. Elliot plays Superman in this one. Oh, and look for me in the key role of "Baliff."



Here's one of the slickest-looking videos of the bunch, it's "The Battle of the Supermen" written by Erik Marcisak, who also stars as the Russian Superman. It also features Elliot's inimitable old-timey voiceover skills, as featured on The Daily Show's "The Decider" adventures.



And lastly (and probably the best-put-together of them all) here's the one written by Brock Mahan, "Superman Vs. Man and Superman." Brock stars as Superman, Elliot is George Bernard Shaw, and look for Devon T. Coleman in his one appearance as "Chauncy." Plus, I put in perhaps my finest performance, as Oscar Wilde. To research for this role, I got myself arrested for sodomy. The rest of the Kalan crew said that it really wasn't necessary, but I insisted.

Realism above all.



Well, that's the last of the Kalan videos, but here's a bonus. I discovered that another short, written by Erik and Joe Guercio (an old Kalanite, all around tech wizard, and good friend), is up on YouTube-- Frank Miller's Vatican City. I had nothing to do with the production of this one; I just think it's worth a look.



UPDATE: It has come to my attention that Elliott's Metro column this week is also all about Superman. Geez, Elliott, enough already!