ZOMBIRA TONIGHT!

Well, the previews are over (as is... well... the first show -- yeah, I sort of dropped the ball in promoting this), but there are still TWO chances to see Zombira's Scaretaculous Halloween Horrortacular (a sketch show) this Halloween season.

Advance tickets are available (without any service charge!) at Brown Paper Tickets. We share the bill with Jameson Bartleby's Haunted Hayride featuring Jeremiah Murphy (fans of the summer show might remember him as Sealegs McGoo). Also, Monday (tonight)'s show will be preceded by the Disgraceland Family freak show. So if you wanna see a freak show, tonight's the night to come. If you wanna avoid a freak show, come see us tomorrow.

Zombira's Scaretaculous Halloween Horrortacular
Part of the Big Bang at MC2
October 29, and 30 at 8 PM
The Sage Theater
711 7th Avenue
Times Square, Manhattan
8PM, $12



















"ZSHH" is your #1 resource for sketches involving me in a pirate hat and jumpsuit.

Zombira RETURNS FROM THE GRAVE

Zombira's Scaretaculous Halloween Horrortacular, the sketch show that played to full and delighted houses last October is back for this Halloween season! It sports half the original cast, and half NEW BLOOD, but all the sketches from last year will be represented, as well as an all-new bonus sketch, at no additional charge to you, the discerning Halloween sketch show consumer. Whatta deal!

The dates are Thursday the 25, Sunday the 28th, Monday the 29th, and Tuesday the 30th (so you don't have to miss any weekend Halloween party fun, to enjoy the show) at 8 PM. Thursday's preview performance is "pay what you can." Advance tickets are available (without any service charge!) at Brown Paper Tickets. We'll be sharing the bill with Jameson Bartleby's Haunted Hayride featuring Jeremiah Murphy (fans of the summer show might remember him as Sealegs McGoo), and the Disgraceland Family, a real live freak show. (Epiphone, the dramatic improvisors, come on after intermission, so if dramatic improv doesn't sound fun to you, that's the time to cut out.)

So come, celebrate your Halloween by seeing a bunch of people dressed up in silly costumes... uh... hmn... but, BUT, they'll be acting in funny scenes, instead of drunk off mulled cider in your buddy's apartment. And also...












SCHOOLGIRL CATFIGHT!!!

Summer Funtime Special TONIGHT

In honor of tonight's premiere of The Summer Funtime Special (a fun summertime sketch comedy show celebrating fun summertime fun), we ask the question:

Is the Summer Funtime Special more fun than a random assortment of images called up when doing a Google image search for "summer fun?"












Just saying Fun in the Sun! doesn't make it so, Fun in the Sun. Plus, what are all those speckles around you? Look like pockmarks to me. I think what you need is to spend a little time out of the sun, maybe in a nice baking soda bath. That ought to stop the itching.

Advantage: Summer Funtime Special.














You know what makes this paper plate Summer-themed? No, it's not the sun, or the beach accouterments, or the palm tree. It's that this disposable paper plate personally contributes to the imminent ENDLESS SUMMER of global warming, what with the deforestation and the petrochemicals and whatnot. BOOOooooo! Boo, Summer-Themed Paper Plate!

Advantage: Summer Funtime Special.












Sure, I enjoy reading books as much as the next librarian's son. But a tree that yields book fruit? Truly these are some dark majicks indeed. Plus, look at the poor indentured laborer picking the books-- he's halfway off that ladder! Were you aware that book-picking accidents were responsible for 172 deaths in the last second alone? And the tragedy of it all is he's probably picking some shit by Nicholas Sparks.

Advantage: Summer Funtime Special.













Sure, the sun relaxing in an innertube, with giant John Lennon shades and a cool drink seems fun, until you realize that the resulting steam explosion will soon dwarf the one in New York City by a factor of several billion.

Advantage: Summer Funtime Special.













AUGHHHHHHHH! GIANT STYLIZED JAPANESE SQUID!!!

Advantage: Summer Funtime Special.












Nothing is more fun than Froggy Going Fishing.

Advantage: Froggy Going Fishing.

Still, in 5 out of 6 instances, the Summer Funtime Special is more fun than random images culled from a Google image search for "Summer Fun." Better play it safe and come to the Summer Funtime Special.

Thursday - Sunday at 8:00pm
July 26, 27, 28 & 29
at the Sage Theater
711 7th Avenue, Times Square

Starring Rob Bates, Matt Koff, Dan McCoy, and Stacy Mayer
Written by Rob Bates, Matt Koff and Dan McCoy
Directed by Jeremy Westphal
Artistic Director: Stacy Mayer
Stage Manager: Karie Hunt
Part of MC2's The Big Bang

New Show ALERT: The Summer Funtime Special

I'll be co-starring in a sketch show next weekend (co-written by me). So come out and see the show, or regret missing it. Or don't regret missing it. That's the other option open to you: complete disinterest and lack of regret. It's a popular choice, as I understand.

What's the show?

"The Summer Funtime Special"

Barbecues, bikinis, beachballs, and blockbusters. Finally, a sketch show that celebrates what Time Magazine calls "The World's Hottest Season." An earlier version of this show was reviewed as having "sharp writing and performing" -- Jester Journal. Yes, some random guy with a website liked it. A ROUSING ENDORSEMENT! When have they ever been wrong?

Basically it's a collection of seasonal sketches, some old (don't worry, you haven't seen them), some new, in the vein of Zombira's Scaretaculous Halloween Horrortacular. If you liked that, chances are you'll like this too.

The at-the-door price is $15, but that gets you into all three of the evening's shows (the other two being "Sealegs McGoo," a one-man character piece, and "Plan B," another sketch group, so the ticket price covers the whole night). However, you can get a small discount by buying tix online. It's $12, with no additional service fee (the website is sort of confusing because the site says "w/service fee," but they mean to say it's included).

The key information is below:

Thursday - Sunday at 8:00pm
July 26, 27, 28 & 29
at the Sage Theater
711 7th Avenue, Times Square

Starring Rob Bates, Matt Koff, Dan McCoy, and Stacy Mayer
Written by Rob Bates, Matt Koff and Dan McCoy
Directed by Jeremy Westphal
Artistic Director: Stacy Mayer
Stage Manager: Karie Hunt
Part of MC2's The Big Bang















Disclaimer: this show is not affiliated with the Girl Scouts, although balding lothario Rob Bates wants readers to know that he's done a little girl scouting in his time, if you know what he means.

Captains, Live! (Redux)

We will be showing the most recent two episodes of Captains in Space (a.k.a. the ones that I wrote) at Manhattan Comedy Collective's "Turkey Shorts" film festival this Wednesday at 8, at Jimmy's No. 43, an East Village bar and restaurant. Tickets are $7. I will be on hand, along with Captain Fed and Captain Adam, to introduce the episodes.

Featuring other short films by Central Park West Studios, Jessica Delfino, Brent Hankins and The Average Joe Cooking Show. Stop by Jimmy's for the best in short comedies, and have a Thanksgiving feast of free popcorn.

Big Weekend: Shows Tonight, Tomorrow, and Saturday!

Hey all. Tonight marks the premiere of Zombira's Scaretaculous Halloween Horrortacular (A Sketch Show). Because tonight's show is "in previews," it will be pay-what-you-like for one night only! Otherwise, tickets are $10 at the door (2-for-1 with a student ID) or $7 via online advance purchase.

The show is running as part of MC2's Big Bang, with This Just In, an improvised show based on the news, Latch-a-Kee, a solo show set at a Native American camp for the arts, and a musical guest (on October 19 and 26 the musical guest will be Erin and her Cello; and on the 20th and 27th, it's Huckleberry Slim, the "Wu-Tang porch band").

Zombira's Scaretaculous Halloween Horrortacular
October 19, 20, 26, & 27, at 8 pm
@ The Sage Theater
235 W. 48th St., Suite 26 B
Manhattan

I wrote 1/3 of the Scaretaculous Horrortacular, and will be acting in it. Woo. You can see it tonight and tomorrow (as well as Thursday and Friday of next week). And I promise that, after that, you'll never again see the graphic below.




Then, on Saturday, you can come see me in The Primetime Kalan, the only show hosted by Daily Show associate producer (and Metro columnist) Elliot Kalan. Written by, and featuring Elliott,
Erik Marcisak, and myself. This episode will feature special guest Dan Bakkadahl, also of The Daily Show, but in that more famous, in-front-of-the-camera way. He'll be sure to get up to some sort of shenanigans, the little scamp.

Also, Saturday's show will be a very special meeting of the Ghost Hunters' Club of New York. We will be presenting video evidence of our recent brushes with the supernatural. Attend only if you dare.

And following the show, stick around. As part of our post-Kalan "Bad Movie Night," we will be screening the classic Feeders 2: Slay Bells, in which the only thing standing between Earth and some bloodthirsty aliens, is a ray-gun toting Santa Claus. Much beer will be drunk and fun will be made. So please, come on out.














The Primetime Kalan
Saturday, October 21, 8:30 pm
@ Jimmy's 43 43
East 7th Street,
Manhattan
Tix: $5

Zombira at MC2

5th of July Spectacular, Tonight

Hot off the promo presses...

Join hosts Michael Caine and Bob Hoskins (really Dan McCoy and Eric Zuckerman) for an evening of sketch comedy and 4th of July related festivities. This may be your only chance to celebrate America's Independence with a pair of award-winning British actors. And isn't that the way George Washington would have wanted it?

With sketch comedy by The Summer Funtime Special, Freedumb and a special sneak preview of Uncle Sam's Satiric Spectacular.

A Very British 4th of July
presented by Manhattan Comedy Collective
Hosted by Michael Caine & Bob Hoskins
with sketch comedy by Freedumb, Uncle Sam's Satiric Spectacular, and The Summer Funtime Special
Wednesday, July 5th at 8:00pm
at Jimmy's No 43
43 E 7th St. (downstairs)
between 2nd/3rd Ave.
6 to Astor Place;R/W to 8th St., F/V to 2nd Avenue
$7.00 - No Drink Minimum
Advance Tickets available

Caine and Hoskins, Together Again, July 5

Because our Michael Caine and Bob Hoskins schtick so took the world (well, that portion of it that was in our audience) by storm back in January, my colleague Eric "Doomsday Guy" Zuckerman and I will be hosting yet another variety show in the guise of the world's favorite famous Cockneys. So come celebrate American independence, one day late, by spending the night with two Brits. It's:

A Very British 4th of July
presented by Manhattan Comedy Collective
Hosted by Michael Caine & Bob Hoskins
with sketch comedy by Freedumb, Uncle Sam's Satiric Spectacular, and The Summer Funtime Special
Wednesday, July 5th at 8:00pm
at Jimmy's No 43
43 E 7th St. (downstairs)
between 2nd/3rd Ave.
6 to Astor Place;R/W to 8th St., F/V to 2nd Avenue
$7.00 - No Drink Minimum
Advance Tickets available

BIG doings, Tonight!

I have two shows at the Gene Frankel Underground tonight:

First, at 7:15 PM - The last of our "Captains in Space LIVE!" events:

Tonight we will be debuting an ALL NEW EPISODE, before it's available online. See it on the big screen first (you may even be privledged to see an "early cut" as Fed might tweak it based on audience reaction... so you can brag to your friends about all the great scenes that were cut from the release version, like the one where Fed crawls around on the ceiling like a spider, or the extended Frankie shower scene).

More importantly (to me, at least), this is the first Captains episode to be written by me. I helped punch up some of the other episodes, but this is the first one to be drawn entirely from my original script. So, if you didn't care for the first three episodes but love this one you can draw your own conclusions. If you loved the first three episodes, but hate this one, then clearly the problem was in the direction. You hear me, Fed!?

Both Captain Fed and I will be on hand to introduce my episode, "Future Shock," as well as episode three, "Double," and to do our little song-and-dance. But never fear if you miss the hilarity-- the new episode will be available online soon.

Second, at 10:00 PM - The final New Kalan Show at the Gene Frankel Theater

To quote Elliott's promotional email:

"Next week brings with it a momentous occasion. On thursday, May 25th, our beloved, small-audienced live fake comedy talk show will be saying its farewells to its longtime home the Gene Frankel Theater. Where's it going? Why, to a DIFFERENT underground theater, and a whole new day and time! Get ready for next month's unveiling of the all-new PRIMETIME KALAN!

But before we welcome the future, let's say goodbye to the past, with the last of 'The New Kalan Show''s and our final performance at the Gene Frankel. All your favorite Kalan characters (Erik! Brock! Dan! Devon! Elliott!) will be there! Special guest comedienne SARA SCHAEFER will be there! Shouldn't YOU be there, too?!

Plus more jokes, sketches, hijinx, emotional damage, and craziness! Help say, "Good riddance, you bastard!" to that crummy theater!"

Come see all the regular New Kalan stuff plus my tearful (?) reunion with my old SSIOWY boss. It should be great fun.






PLUS: It's not just the New Kalan's last night at the Gene Frankel theater -- it's the Manhattan Comedy Collective's last night at the theater. That's right, after tonight all the vestages of Juvie Hall and its children will be swept away forever (or to a bar a few blocks away. One or the other). To celebrate this, MC2 is putting on a special FREE improv jam at 11 PM, just following The New Kalan Show, complete with FREE Jell-o shots.

Captains.

Kalan.

Jell-o shots.

What more could you need?

The Gene Frankel Theater Underground
24 Bond Street (aka East 2nd St.)
In the East Village, on the north side of Bond Street, between Bowery & Lafayette. In the basement theater. Take the 6 to Bleeker, B/D/F/V to Broadway Lafayette, or R to Prince.

Cost:

-$5 for 10 PM show ONLY.
-$10 for entire night of shows (including both of my shows, at 7:15 and 10 and everything in-between). Includes 1 free drink ticket.

Summer Funtime Update

Just a reminder that The Summer Funtime Special is this Thursday the 18th at 10 PM. We've made a slight casting adjustment-- Rick Murphy will not be appearing in the show (lay off the sauce, Rick!*). Instead, we're pleased to announced the addition of Jeremiah Murphy to the cast. We figure, what the heck? One Murphy's as good as another. We're also pleased to announce that our director will be Mr. War of the Worlds himself, the Hoskins to my Caine, Eric Zuckerman. Feel free to applaud.

The Summer Funtime Special

Starring: Rob Bates, Matt Koff, Stacy Mayer, Dan McCoy, and Jeremiah Murphy.

Written by: Matt Koff, Rob Bates, and Dan McCoy

Directed by: Erik Zuckerman

The Gene Frankel Theater Underground 24 Bond Street (AKA East 2nd St.)
It's on the north side of Bond Street, between Bowery & Lafayette, in the basement space.
$5 for the 10 PM show, or you can see the whole MC2 Thursday line up for $10 (includes a drink ticket). Making things bold is fun.

It's the only show you'll see this year whose title is an anagram of "Fiancee sperm multi sum." That has to count for something!

*This is, of course, a joke. Mr. Rick Murphy is a fine human being, who could not appear in the show for scheduling reasons, and not because of any substance abuse problems, although he's totally a falling-down lush, and you can tell him I said that.**

**Libel suit, here I come!

Captains Live Tonight!

Just a reminder, the second installment of our "Captains LIVE!" Big Bang/ Manhattan Comedy Collective showings is tonight. The episodes will be there every Thursday this month, but this may be the last time both Fed and I will be on hand to introduce them.

Captains in Space
Thursday, May 11 (tonight) at 7:15 PM
The Gene Frankel Theater Underground
24 Bond Street (aka East 2nd St.)
In the East Village, on the north side of Bond Street, between Bowery & Lafayette, in the basement theater. Take the 6 to Bleeker, B/D/F/V to Broadway Lafayette, or R to Prince.

The ticket price is $10, but that entitles you to stay for the whole night of shows and gets you one free beer. Also, if you show up at 7, I think there may be a discount-- but don't quote me on that.

In related news, Captain Fed has a MySpace page. I don't know how he's able to access the internet from deep space-- perhaps the OTTO-5 comes equipped with super-powerful wi-fi. Odder still is the way he's able to access early 21st century webpages from the year 2089, but perhaps he's using one of those OhForChrissakeItsJustABit devices. They're pretty versatile.

Oh, that reminds me: if we ever make a spin-off show, it should be called Captains in MYSPACE!

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>sniff< I should get paid for this stuff.

Two New Shows in May

I will be taking part in a one-time-only sketch event on May 18, at 10 PM, titled, "The Summer Funtime Special," produced by The Manhattan Comedy Collective and Matt Koff. The blurb on the MC2 website has this to say:

"Barbecues, bikinis, beachballs, and blockbusters. Finally, a sketch show that celebrates what Time Magazine calls 'The World's Hottest Season.'

Starring Rob Bates, Matt Koff, Stacy Mayer, Dan McCoy, and Rick Murphy. With special guests and other surprises!"

The show will be written by Matt, Rob, and myself, and you can see it at:

The Gene Frankel Theater Underground
24 Bond Street (AKA East 2nd St.)
It's on the north side of Bond Street, between Bowery & Lafayette, in the basement space.
$5 for the 10 PM show, or you can see the whole MC2 Thursday line up for $10 (includes a drink ticket).

More news as events warrant.*

Also: good news for fans of my periodic contributions to Andres du Bouchet's always extremely funny Giant Tuesday Night of Amazing Inventions and Also There is a Game-- one of my bits will be included on the May 23rd show (only writing-- I won't be performing).

In case you've forgotten, Giant Tuesday Night is at:

Rififi/ Cinema Classics
332 East 11th Street
between 1st and 2nd Avenues
The show is FREE (w/ a one drink minimum)

*Read, "when we figure out who the special guests are."