The Flop House Episode Seventy-One is ONLINE

We discuss The Last Airbender. Check it out HERE.

The Flop House Episode Seventy is ONLINE

Check it out HERE.

The Flop House Episode Sixty-Nine is ONLINE!

Go listen to the episode HERE!

Slate Piece #3

With my third humor piece for Slate, can I start referring to myself as a "regular contributor?" While I ponder that, why don't you enjoy my trip down zombie memory lane: "The Corpse Stays in the Picture."

The Flop House Episode Sixty-Eight is ONLINE!

At long last, all three of our intrepid co-hosts have returned, which can only mean one thing -- finally we get to do the CONTEST-WINNER-SELECTED MOVIE! And what movie has he selected? The wish-fulfillment-for-tween-girls-of-the-late-80's spectacular Teen Witch. Meanwhile Elliott explains the new Subway Teenwich, Dan objects to Gawker's misuse of the English language, and Stuart reveals his new erection-based rating system.

0:00 - 0:35 - Introduction and SHOCKTOBER theme.
0:36 - 6:17 - Your regular co-hosts waste six minutes talking about how nice it is to all be in the same room again.
6:18 - 32:15 - We are all giddy, GIDDY, to be watching Teen Witch -- a classic bad movie -- rather than the usual modern, sub-mediocre Hollywood crap.
32:16- 37:15- Final judgments
37:16 - 49:44 Flop House Mailbag
49:45 - 54:39- The sad bastards recommend.*
54:40 - 56:09 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

*A correction -- Dan says that the director of The Invisible Maniac also did The Hazing. He was thinking of Rolfe Kanefsky who helmed the similarly "using supernatural powers to see naked ladies"-themed movie Pretty Cool. The Invisible Maniac was by Adam Rifkin who went on to Hollywood projects like Detroit Rock City.



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Wikipedia synopsis of Teen Witch

PLUGS CORNER

Elliott is hosting another Closely Watched Films screening, this one of the great 1936 drama "Dodsworth", the somehow uplifting story of the dissolution of a marriage.

Wednesday, Nov. 3rd, 7:30pm
@ 92YTribeca
200 Hudson St.
New York

Check out Dan's Halloween article over at Whim Quarterly.

And, for the few in America that haven't had the pleasure...

Thanks to the WGAE Foundation for the Fantastic Screenplay Reading

Thanks to Mark Delabarre, Paul Jones, Gil Zabarsky, Alex Flores, Austin Torelli, Emily Kinney, Jane Gabbert, Sarah Lord, and Gabriel Millman, none of whom will probably see this, but all of whom were amazing in my screenplay reading. If anyone was actually interested in making the movie, you'd all get cast, as far as I'm concerned.


And, of course, thanks to Shira-Lee Shalit for directing and Susane Lee for arranging the event. To have a great cast perform your material--every writer should have such a wonderful experience.

Dan Has a Screenplay in the Writers Guild of America East Reading Series!

Hey fans, and/or readers of this blog that only exist in my imagination, as I post into the Internet ether -- I have a screenplay that's gonna be read (well, 20 pages of it) at the JCC in Manhattan this Monday. Should be fun, and there's a WINE RECEPTION to follow. Here: I'll just let the WGAE press release explain...

* * *

Get your tickets now to see the latest performance in the WGAE/WGAE Foundation's Screenplay Reading Series. Excerpts from original screenplays by Guild members will be performed with a top-notch cast.

ORIENTATION written by Dan McCoy
ELLIOT BLOOM GETS SHOT written by William Farmer

Monday, October 18th, 2010 at 7:30pm
JCC in Manhattan
334 Amsterdam Avenue, at 76th Street
Wine reception follows readings

WGAE & JCC Members Ticket price $8.00 Please call 646-505-5708 to purchase.
Nonmembers: Ticket price $10.00 Click here to buy online.

Orientation by Dan McCoy is about teenager Eric Hardy whose college prospects haven't been helped by an indifferent guidance counselor and his mother's mysterious illness. Still, he never would have knowingly applied to a university run by demons, even as a safety school. Sure, his adventures in matriculation involve making friends with Stuart, the cool guy across the hall, and falling for the spunky and self-possessed Claire. But they also include protecting himself and his dorm-mates from being actually possessed. Turns out, his college is just a front for a hellish recruitment station, and Eric needs to defeat faculty, upperclassmen, and alums (including his own brother) if he hopes to survive welcome weekend.

Read Dan McCoy's Bio

Elliot Bloom Gets Shot by William Farmer is about Elliott Bloom, a middle aged writer whose life is going nowhere, and who blames his misery on everyone and everything around him. He has alienated all his friends and loved ones with his arrogance, constantly flaunting his genius-level IQ and considering himself the only intelligent being in a world of fools. An anti-social outburst lands him in a small town jail, where the local librarian, a woman named Pine Davies, recognizes his pain as well as his potential and becomes fascinated by him. Faced with the opportunity for yet another grab at career success, Elliot must choose between a last shot at the fame and fortune he feels he deserves, or the simple comfort of remaining with Pine and living out what's left of his life in anonymity "among the fools." Complicating the matter is the fact that he's losing his mind, as characters from his unpublished "great American novel" refuse to stay on the page, inconveniently manifesting themselves in an attempt to influence his decision to their advantage.

Read William Farmer's Bio

WGAE President Michael Winship, Emmy Award-winning senior writer of Bill Moyers Journal will lead a Q & A after the readings which are produced by WGAE lifetime member Susane Lee.

The Flop House Episode Sixty-Seven is ONLINE

John Kingman is INVITED to join Stu and Dan for a discussion of The Uninvited. See what we did there? Sigh. The quality of our clever intros is slipping just as much as the likelihood of all three co-hosts being in a room together. But that doesn't keep this second Shocktober episode from being shocktastic. Meanwhile, Dan reveals a surprising knowledge of Alanis Morrisette's ouvre, Stuart turns the audience into his personal assistants, and John patiently waits for an introduction that's a long time coming.

0:00 - 0:39 - Introduction and SHOCKTOBER theme.
0:40 - 35:46 - Turns out "The Uninvited" isn't a horror movie about an angry guest who didn't get invited to Elliott's wedding. Instead, it's about ghosts or crazy people, or some shit.
35:47- 39:13- Final judgments
39:14 - 45:44- The sad bastards recommend.
45:45 - 46:39 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.



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Wikipedia synopsis of The Uninvited

PLUG CORNER

Dan's screenplay (well, 20 pages of it) gets a staged reading by professional actors, along with an excerpt from another "hot screenplay" (as the press release puts it), courtesy of the WGA East, THIS MONDAY, October 18 at 7:30 PM at the JCC in Manhattan, 334 Amsterdam Ave, at 76th St.

The Flop House Episode Sixty-Six is ONLINE

We come roaring... well, stumbling, back with 2/3rds of The Flop House crew, plus Spanish-language podcasting superstar Federico Hatoum. And the good news is, we've returned in time for Shocktober, with the incorrectly-named Blood: The Last Vampire. Meanwhile, Elliott and Dan engage in a competition as to who can get divorced first, and Fed beguiles us with the beauty of his native tongue.

0:00 - 0:37 - Introduction and SHOCKTOBER theme.
0:38 - 8:47 - We spend nearly ten minutes introducing our special guest Federico Hatoum, and explaining why we've been M.I.A. for over a month.
8:48 - 28:49 - We talk about Blood: The Last Vampire... or, more accurately, "CG Blood: The Last Vampire."
29:50- 34:36- Final judgments
34:37 - 47:54 - PLUGS! which eventually devolve into a series of mouth-sounds.
47:55 - 58:52 - The sad bastards recommend.
58:53 - 1:00:12 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.



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Wikipedia synopsis of Blood: The Last Vampire

PLUG CORNER

Listen to guest host Fed Hatoum's hit Spanish-language Mac podcast PuroMac... if you speak Spanish. And like Apple products.

Elliott screens The Black Cat as part of his series "Closely Watched Films" at 92Y Tribeca, 200 Hudson St., Manhattan, on Wednesday, October 6 at 7:30 PM.

Dan's screenplay (well, 20 pages of it) gets a staged reading by professional actors, along with an excerpt from another "hot screenplay" (as the press release puts it), courtesy of the WGA East, on Monday, October 18 at 7:30 PM at the JCC in Manhattan, 334 Amsterdam Ave, at 76th St.

9 AM Meeting NYTVF Screenings Announced!

9 AM Meeting is an official selection of the New York Television Festival. That means that our independent pilot is competing against forty-some other pilots, (ranging from 4 and 22 minutes in length) for fabulous prizes (including money, development deals, and bragging rights). Our pilot is screening twice: Wed, Sep 22, 9:45PM at Tribeca Cinemas Theater 2 and Thu, Sep 23, 7:30PM at Tribeca Cinemas Theater 1, as part... of a 1-hour "Animation Block." The screening is FREE FREE FREE (although there is a $4.50 handling fee for reserving tickets online, and reservations are highly recommended, due to the popularity of the festival). My co-writer/co-star Matt and I would really appreciate your attendance -- having a receptive crowd could only help our chances in competition, and the festival thrives on having a full, enthusiastic house. Tickets and more info available at NYTVF.com.

9 AM Meeting at Channel 101 TONIGHT

"At Channel 101, the destiny of TV entertainment is in your hands! During this monthly screening, new five-minute shows from the best young writers and directors in NYC battle it out for the right to be turned into a series. The top five shows become the new "prime time" lineup for the following month; losing shows are banished forever."

Come vote for us in our 9th month! See co-9AMer Matt Koff host! Drink copiously from their bar!

92Y Tribeca
200 Hudson Street
New York, NY
8 PM - $6

The Flop House Episode Sixty-Five is ONLINE

Is it possible John Travolta and director Walt Becker could top Wild Hogs? Well, when it comes to Old Dogs, it depends on what you mean by "top." Meanwhile, Stuart reveals some exciting personal news, Dan explains how this movie is the modern "Kangaroo Jack," and Elliott previews his new one-man show at (great) length.

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.
0:34 - 6:13 - So much talk about weddings that you'd think you were listening to three schoolgirls, if not for the World of Warcraft reference.
6:14 - 42:05 - A scintillating discussion of Old Dogs, the family film that's fun for no ages, as well as our longest, most absurd digression yet.
42:06 - 43:03- Final judgments are handily dispensed with.
43:04 - 48:17 - Dan manages to announce our CONTEST WINNER, despite Elliott and Stu's best efforts to not let him get the name out.
48:18 - 55:45 - The sad bastards recommend.
55:46 - 58:24 - Plugs, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Old Dogs

PLUG CORNER

Take a look at a preview of Age of Heroes #4, the MARVEL COMIC FEATURING A STORY WRITTEN BY THE FLOP HOUSE'S OWN ELLIOTT KALAN. Then go buy a copy of the full comic this Tuesday, ya cheapskate!

Check out the music of Lydia Burrell (AKA Alex Smith). He's a friend of Flopper Stuart, and his album was produced by My Morning Jacket frontman Yim Yames. So, you know. Hipster cred.

Dan's webseries 9 AM Meeting is an Official Selection of the New York Television and Video Festival. Check out a screening! Tickets are free, but reservations are required (box office opens September 1).

9 AM Meeting at the New York TV Festival!

My webseries 9 AM Meeting is an Official Selection of the 2010 New York Television Festival. It will screen in competition against 41 other independently produced TV pilots this September (Festival dates: Sept 20-25, specific screenings TBA). Fellow 9AMer Matt Koff and I will be there... WILL YOU?

Whim Quarterly #3 Coming Soon!

The third issue of NYC's best printed-on-actual-paper humor magazine (dubbed "the choleric issue") is about to drop, and -- as always -- it features a contribution from yours truly. Start doing your core-strengthening laughing exercises now.

The Flop House Episode Sixty-Four is ONLINE

Finally we get to watch a truly great movie, Alex Cox's seminal punk classic Repo Man, which... wait, what? We're watching Repo MEN? That piece of shit? Oy. Meanwhile, Stuart retains his man of mystery status by not revealing where he's working, Elliott gives us anecdote after delightful anecdote about Tommy Wiseau, and Dan reveals a secret plot to repossess Abraham Lincoln's organs.

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.
0:34 - 27:35 - Jude Law and Forrest Whittaker repossess both our will to live and to discuss the movie Repo Men.
27:36 - 33:19 - Final judgments, and Elliott's rambling Lethal Weapon 2 digression.
33:20 - 49:04 - A brimming Flop House Movie Mailbag.
49:05 - 58:50 - Instead of recommendations, Elliott gives us a firsthand report on San Diego's ComiCon.
58:51 - 59:41 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Repo Men

One Question...

Did Boo-Boo just fuck that sandwich?

Another Piece on Slate.com

Following up on the UNMITIGATED TRIUMPH of my Charlotte's Web piece, I submit to you, my faithful (and few) readers this humor essay about Inception, published in today's Slate. Enjoy it. I dare you.

9 AM Meeting Episode SEVEN!

YouTube, Metacafe, DailyMotion, Blip.tv and Facebook

The Return of Gchat Theater

me:http://www.wrongsideoftheart.com/2009/02/her-name-was-lisa-1979-usa/

Ritch: Kinda makes two thumbs up look a little tame.

me: More movies should be reviewed with "FULL ERECTION, 100%!"

Ritch: I'd give Showgirls like a 55%

me: Embrace of the Vampire on the other hand...

Ritch: I'd like to see "MAINTAINED A FAIRLY CONSTANT CHUBBY"

me: "Soft, but that wasn't really the movie's fault--I've just been really tired and stressed."

Ritch: ha

"Full Erection 100 percent, but I'll qualify that by saying I watched the movie in the back of a slowly rumbling bus."

me: These are the downfalls of the erection-based movie rating system.

Ritch: If you achieve a full erection 100 percent for the entirety of this Ken Burns documentary, consult your physician.

Devastator Launch Party

I couldn't be there, since I'm on the opposite coast, but check out the pictures of the launch party at L.A.'s Meltdown Comics.

Hey Kids! It's a Press Release!

Check out this press release for a new humor publication that includes a piece written by yours truly:

LOS ANGELES, CA— A new and audacious book series of satirical writing, parody and original comics, The Devastator, will be released this June 29, 2010. The Devastator is a compendium of both upcoming and renowned writers and artists who deftly satirize a new aspect of pop-culture in each volume. Writers and artists for the inaugural book have worked for The Daily Show, The Simpsons, The Onion, Cracked, National Lampoon, and more. Notable contributors to The Devastator #1 include James Urbaniak (The Venture Bros.), David Malki ! (Wondermark), R. Sikoryak (Masterpiece Comics), and screenwriter Todd Alcott (Antz).

The publishers, Geoffrey Golden and Amanda Meadows, expect the first book to be carried in 5 major independent book sellers in Los Angeles, 4 in New York City, and on their online storefront devastatorquarterly.com/shop. The book will soft launch on Amazon.com via Ingram Book Services this July. A release on Google Editions is to be confirmed this August.

Publisher and Editor-in-Chief Geoffrey Golden held a memorable fundraising campaign to print the mixed-format book, using the new creative fundraising platform Kickstarter.com. Featuring a hilarious proposal video starring cult celebrity actor James Urbaniak, The Devastator garnered support from the blogosphere and social media.

Co-publisher and Managing Editor Amanda Meadows announced a book release party at the largest comic book and collectibles shop west of The Rockies, Meltdown Comics. The book launch is scheduled for Saturday June 26, 7-10pm. Featured guests include all Los Angeles contributors to The Devastator, actor James Urbaniak, and Wondermark creator David Malki !, who will give away free sketches for those who purchase copies of the book. The event is open to the public, and attendees are encouraged to visit The Devastator’s Facebook fan page. Golden comments, "We're are honored to get such unconditional support from booksellers, colleagues, and fans alike. This book has been several months in the making, and we are ready to celebrate everyone's hard work on June 26th!"

The Devastator has received extremely positive advance buzz and reviews from former Publishers Weekly Comics newsblog The Beat, “The Sound of Young America” founder and host Jesse Thorn, comedy nexus The Apiary, foremost Animation Historian Jerry Beck’s cartoon news site Cartoon Brew, premiere webcomics blog The Daily Cross Hatch. The book also received endorsements from major university humor publications like The Yale Record.

The Devastator is an independent publication created by Geoffrey Golden and Amanda Meadows, two comedy writer-editors from Los Angeles, in December 2009. Having read humor and comics in print in their youth, they intend to instigate a rebirth of parody and satire in print that works in tandem with the digital reading revolution.

For more information, please visit devastatorquarterly.com/about

For a full list of Book #1 contributors click here.

To RSVP for Book #1 Launch Party

The Flop House Episode Sixty-Two is ONLINE

If a 13-year-old boy wrote an early-90's Image comic book and pitched it to Zach Snyder's third unit director, then you might wind up with something like Legion. Meanwhile, Dan tries to make it all about his birthday, Elliott expounds on some Flop House in-jokes, and Stuart offers Wolverine a real Sophie's choice.

0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme
0:35 - 40:51 - God has decided to punish us. Not by sending all of the angels from heaven to wipe out humanity - by making us watch Legion. (And punish Dan in particular by making Stu and Elliott interrupt him more than ever before.)
40:52 - 42:14 - Final judgments
42:15 - 57:47 - The Flop House Movie Mailbag threatens to take over the show.
57:48 - 59:21 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Legion

The Flop House Episode Sixty-One is ONLINE

Imagine you were a robot. Now imagine everyone else is a robot. Now imagine Bruce Willis is a robot. Two out of three of those things are pretty hard to imagine, right? Welcome to the world of Surrogates. Meanwhile, Elliott imagines a lost Disney live-action hit, Stuart tells us what his surrogate would look like, and Dan plucks the low-hanging fruit.

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme
0:33 - 34:34 - Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry, when we take you out in our discussion of Surrogates.
34:35 - 37:20 - Final judgments
38:21 - 45:55 - The Flop House Movie Mailbag.
45:56 - 51:40- The sad bastards recommend.
51:41 - 54:25 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Surrogates

The Flop House Episode Sixty is ONLINE!

Since Dan is gone this weekend at a wedding, Flopsmas is coming early this year! Enjoy a rare Thursday-posted episode!

We'll say this for Sandra Bullock - she throws herself into every role, even the ones she shouldn't, like the lead in All About Steve. Meanwhile, Brock makes a plea for simple job competence, Dan questions the film's view of the high-stakes crosswords world, and Stuart gives a recap lesson in cookery.

0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme
0:35 - 2:30 - We reintroduce special guest host Brock Mahan.
2:31 - 36:53 - We put on our critics' high-heeled red leather boots to take on the no-rom, no-com, rom-com All About Steve
40:56 - 40:55 - Final judgments
40:56 - 44:07 - An all-comments Flop House mailbag.
48:45 - 55:07- The sad bastards recommend.
55:08 - 57:53 - Plugs, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

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Wikipedia synopsis of All About Steve

The Flop House Episode Fifty-Nine is ONLINE

What do you get when you take Death Wish, mix it with Saw, and add a soupçon of Gerard Butler? An unholy mess, that's what. Meanwhile, Elliott pitches our cartoon spin off, Dan leads us down a side road about Back to the Future Part II that goes fucking nowhere, and Stuart boasts about his giant... sandwich-making prowess.

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme
0:34 - 2:24 - We waste a few minutes talking about how long it's been since we've invaded your ear-holes.
2:25 - 35:39 - We discuss Law Abiding Citizen, the most egregious crime against hyphens since The 40 Year Old Virgin.
35:39 - 38:18 - Final judgments
38:20 - 39:25 - Station identification
39:26 - 44:07 - We attempt to re-create a Flop House Movie Mailbag from memory, and we make fun of Stuart's fragile mental state.
44:08 - 52:10- The sad bastards recommend.
52:11 - 53:01 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Law Abiding Citizen

The Flop House Episode Fifty-Eight is ONLINE!

There are Flop House movies that are actual flops, and then there are huge blockbusters that need the flop treatment. We take a look at one of the latter. Meanwhile, Elliott takes us on a trip through the thesaurus entry for "muscular," Stuart shows his anti-romantic streak, and Dan reveals one of the many ways in which he's like a teenage girl.

0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme
0:35 - 37:36 - Hail, hail, the gang's all here. Which gang? All of the supposedly-full-time Flop House co-hosts! A podcast with all three floppers together comes along once in a blue moon. Or in this case, a new moon. A Twilight: New Moon. ...Remind me never to hire myself as a copywriter.
37:37 - 39:33 - Final judgments
39:34 - 43:31 - The long-awaited WINNERS of the "Give Dan a Hook" contest!
43:32 - 51:19 - The sad bastards recommend.
51:20 - 52:13 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

If you didn't win the"GIVE DAN A HOOK" contest, but still want to hear the DVD commentary we did for John Ott's short horror film, STULL, you can just purchase the thing outright, by going here.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Twilight: New Moon

James Urbaniak for The Devastator

Actor, gadabout, and man of taste and distinction, James Urbaniak, plugs THE DEVASTATOR, a new comedy anthology for which I am a contributor:

The Devastator - A New Quarterly Humor Publication

Hey, everyone - do you want to read a humor piece by me, anthologized among such luminaries as actor James Urbaniak (The Venture Brothers, American Splendor) or cartoonists David Malki! (Wondermark) and R. Sikoryak (Masterpiece Comics)?

Sure you do! Then donate to the project on Kickstarter!

Raisin Hell

Raisins – dried grapes

Craisins – dried cranberries

Crazins – homicidal dried cranberries

Cruisins – dried copies of the Al Pacino film “Cruising”

Musins – dried idle thoughts/ newspaper opinion columns

Mueslisns – especially dry muesli, often made with double-dried raisins, or “draisins”

Boozins – dried Boo-Berry Cereal

Boozyboozins – dried Boo-Berry Cereal served with kahlua instead of milk

Boo-boozyboozins - dried Boo-Berry Cereal served with kahlua instead of milk that’s eaten by Yogi the Bear’s sidekick Boo-Boo

Balooboo-boozyboozins – When Baloo the Bear eats Boo-Boo the bear after he’s eaten dried Boo-Berry Cereal that’s been served with kahlua instead of milk

Balloonbalooboo-boozyboozins – The bloated feeling Baloo the Bear gets after eating Boo-Boo after he’s eaten dried Boo-Berry Cereal that’s been served with kahlua instead of milk

Boobzins – very small breasts

Bruisins – the injuries you get after remarking on a woman’s boobzins

Fumezins – what this bit is currently running on

Loosin – what I’m doing to my audience right now

Amusin – the kind of ending I don’t have for this bit

[Dan throws down smoke bomb and disappears]

Whim Quarterly Issue Two PREVIEW

My piece "On the Economies of Magical Lands" is up on the Whim Quarterly website as a free preview of what one might find within the covers of issue number two.

By all means, enjoy it, but don't let it keep you from buying a copy--especially since it's not the only piece I wrote for this issue. That's always the way it works. Give 'em a taste, but then MAKE 'EM PAY FOR MORE.

The Flop House Episode Fifty-Seven is ONLINE

Elliott and Dan are joined by Eric Zuckerman, an actor who's appeared in many films--including one starring patron saint of flop Gerard Butler--to discuss the slasher film Sorority Row. Meanwhile, in a star-studded podcast, Eric completely fails to give us inside information about Carrie Fisher, Dan is pimped into busting out his Michael Caine impression, and Elliott will not shut up about Anne Hatheway.

0:00 - 0:36 - Introduction and theme
0:37 - 8:10 - Before getting down to business we discuss Stuart's vacation, Dan's nasal surgery, and the acting career of guest host Eric Zuckerman.
8:11 - 39:48 - We talk about Sorority Row, the remake of House on Sorority Row, which, of course, was a remake of Erich Von Stroheim's Greed, based on the novel Push, by Sapphire.
39:49 - 44:17 - Final judgments
44:18 - 52:00 - Flop House Movie Mailbag
52:01 - 59:14 - The sad bastards recommend.
59:15 - 59:53 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

VOTE FOR DAN'S HOOK!

If you don't want to enter the "GIVE DAN A HOOK" contest, but still want to hear the DVD commentary we did for John Ott's short horror film, STULL, you can just purchase the thing outright, by going here.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Sorority Row

Whim Quarterly Issue Two Available for Pre-Order

Whim Quarterly is a print humor magazine. Drink in that unlikely sentence. Re-read it. Let it invade your skull. In 2010, a lonely magazine dares to keep the flame of prose humor burning. Don't you want to help support that worthy endeavor? Especially since I write for this particular publication? Don't you love me anymore?

The second issue is available for pre-order now. It's lighter and more bendy than a Kindle. Why not order one and remind yourself just how magical a paper cut can be?




















In the words of the publishers -- "Whim Quarterly is a magazine printed on actual, flammable paper. Its contributors are mainly underemployed writers, though some have chiseled their way into positions at The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Late Show with David Letterman, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and other humor institutions. Taken as a single entity, Whim contributors would have 36 eyes, three Emmy Awards and a soul-crushing amount of personal debt. Treat yourself. Order a copy!"

Those E-Mail Forwards? I've Become One

Hey, my article is climbing the charts over at Slate.com--




















If you haven't read it yet, take a look.

Humor Piece at Slate.com

I wrote a humor essay for Slate that was published today. Give it a read, why don't you? And if you like it, pass it on. You will be rewarded in some vague way that you can't prove wasn't linked to your favor to me. That's the beauty of karma.

The Flop House: Episode #56 - Whiteout

Tomorrow, celebrate cinematic excellence at The Oscars, but today, celebrate cinematic feculence with our discussion of Whiteout. Meanwhile, Dan gets a strong hook contender, Elliott demonstrates his punning prowess, and Amanda tells the world's best talking doll story.

0:00 - 0:31 - Introduction and theme
0:31 - 5:00 - We reintroduce guest co-host Amanda Melson, and spend nearly five full minutes reminiscing about the New York comedy scene in a way that's almost completely alienating to outsiders.
5:01 - 39:12 - You know your movie's in trouble when even an ice ax-wielding killer and Kate Beckinsale in her underwear can't generate any excitement
39:13 - 43:10 - Final judgments
43:11 - 48:00 - Flop House Movie Mailbag
48:01 - 53:48 - The sad bastards recommend.
53:49 - 54:52 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

If you don't want to enter the "GIVE DAN A HOOK" contest, but still want to hear the DVD commentary we did for John Ott's short horror film, STULL, you can just purchase the thing outright, by going here.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Whiteout

I Live Blog the Oscars for the Writer's Guild at FireDogLake

I have been asked by the Writer's Guild to join a group of far more distinguished writers than myself in live blogging the Academy Awards this Sunday evening. You can follow it on the "La Figa" blog on the FireDogLake site.

So if you have no Oscar party to attend, but still want to feel like you're watching the show with friends--then have I got the Internet-based event for you. I quote the press release:

Writers Guild of America, East's TV/Comedy Writers liveblog the Oscars on FireDogLake.com

Emmy winners and nominees are at your service!

Past and present writers from Letterman, Politically Incorrect, Best Week Ever, The Chris Rock Show, and other comedy and even news shows are liveblogging the Oscars at top progressive blog FireDogLake.com. TV's funniest and/or smartest programming is written by Writers Guild members so you know this will be an irreverent but industry smart take on the Oscars.

Writers Guild members live blogging are:

Michael Winship, WGAE President and senior writer on Bill Moyers Journal

Fred Graver, Emmy Winner and founder of iLarious, Creator of VH1's Best Week Ever, former Letterman, In Living Color & pretty much everything else you've ever seen.

John Marshall, Emmy nominated writer from The Chris Rock Show, Politically Incorrect, The Electric Company

Caissie St.Onge, Best Week Ever, The Rosie O'Donnell Show

Justin DiLauro, CBS News Promo writer (and master of brevity)

Bonnie Datt, The Confirmed Bachelors and fashion blogger for Racked.com.

Dan McCoy, 9am Meeting, two time Channey Award winner shown on Channel 101 New York

Dan McNamara, The Bear, The Cloud and God seen on Comedy Central and Atom.com and "Amazing The Lion" on the Independent Comedy Network

Timothy Michael Cooper, Concierge: The Series

and WGAE Executive Director Lowell Peterson (who's much funnier than a union leader needs to be).

The Writers Guild of America, East is doing this because 1. it's going to be entertaining and 2. to bring attention to the fact that the best writing for TV, film, radio and webseries is done by UNION members.

Join us starting at 6pm est. We’ll be covering the Oscars from the Red Carpet to the credits.

Flop House Movie Minute #35 - Best Picture Decimal System

TEN BEST PICTURE NOMINEES? HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD?!

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Stryker File Set Photos

Who doesn't love to look at promotional set photos for video shoots? Especially when those photos are filled with non-celebrities? Huh? WHO DOESN'T LOVE THAT? Check out these behind the scenes pictures of my guest appearance on Escape Pod Films' episode of The Stryker Files, "Drugs."


By the way: if you watch the episode, it looks like I'm looking completely past Chris when I'm supposed to be having a conversation with him... well, that's because that's where the director told me my eye-line was. Are you trying to make a fool of me, Jeremy? WELL I WILL SEE YOU IN HELL.

The Flop House Episode Fifty-Five is ONLINE!

Repeat Flop House offenders Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl team up in The Ugly Truth, a terrible romantic comedy that Stuart really, really wanted us to watch for some reason. Maybe because he's just an ol' softie! Meanwhile, Elliott pitches his new hit tragicomedy "Bad Date," Stuart reveals his NBC sitcom holodeck fantasy, and Dan uses the word "whack" as in "out of whack" but is still mercilessly made fun of by his co-hosts as if he was trying to get gangsta.

0:00 - 0:30 - Introduction and theme
0:31 - 3:35 - Stuart wastes all of our time by discussing his upcoming 30th birthday.
3:36 - 34:25 - If your criteria for a romantic comedy is that it specifically contains the words "the" and "truth," and has a negative descriptor in the middle, may we suggest The Awful Truth, starring Cary Grant?
34:26 - 40:31 - Final judgments All three: bad bad
40:32 - 50:00 - Flop House Movie Mailbag
50:01 - 51:14 - An explanation of the new Movie Minute policy.
51:15 - 56:31 - The sad bastards recommend.
56:32 - 58:30 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

If you don't want to enter the "GIVE DAN A HOOK" contest, but still want to hear the DVD commentary we did for John Ott's short horror film, STULL, you can just purchase the thing outright, by going here.

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Wikipedia synopsis of The Ugly Truth

Here's Stuart, so happy that The Ugly Truth is over that he's doing a dance to the credits music:

New Mr Whitepants Video - Fantasy Closet!

Fantasy Closet - watch more funny videos

Starring Meghan O'Neill, Roy Koshy, Matt Koff, and Dan McCoy
Directed and edited by John Kingman
Written by Dan McCoy
Music by Jordan Cooper
Voiceover by Dan McCoy
Produced by Mr. Whitepants

Episode Four of 9 AM Meeting, Plus a Bonus Guest Video!

9 AM Meeting extended its streak, coming in first at Channel 101 NY last night. Check out the new episode, and then go to our official site to see what you may have missed.



Also, the guys at Escape Pod Films were good enough to invite us to be guest stars on episode three of The Stryker Files (#2 at Channel 101). It was nice to step out from behind our cartoon faces for a while. See us in (live) action here:

9 AM Meeting Episode Four Debuts at Channel 101 TONIGHT!

Looking for a cool reason to brave the snow? Come to 92 Y Tribeca and vote to keep 9 AM Meeting on Channel 101. There's a great slate of shows this month, and I'll actually be appearing as a non-cartoon-actor in another show: The Stryker Files. It's a lot of fun for only $6.

I'll Bet You Didn't Know I Was a Supporting Snork

The Flop House Episode Fifty-Four is ONLINE

Don't hate the player; hate the game. On second thought, hate the Gamer. Meanwhile, Dan laments the downfall of the previously-dependable entertaining-trash team of Neveldine/Taylor, Matt finds his new super-muscular bête noir, and Elliott comes up with a much wackier way to end an already wacky movie.

0:00 - 0:36 - Introductions and Theme
0:37 - 33:42- We welcome Matt Koff, our second guest host of a still-young 2010, and we introduce him to a rising star named Gerard Butler, in a little film called Gamer.
33:43 - 37:57 - Final Judgments (Dan: almost-good/bad bad, Elliott: bad bad, Matt: bad bad bad)
37:58 - 48:38- A very navel-gazing movie mailbag.
38:39 - 51:47 - Two out of three sad bastards recommending aint' bad.
51:48 - 52:37 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Gamer

The Return of Gchat Theater

What do comedy writers do with their day? They spend most if it irritating each other with deliberately bad jokes. To wit:

Matt: I hear it's restaurant week.

me: I hear it's BREASTaurant week.

Hubba hubba!

Matt: You don't hear that.

You just wanted to type "breast."

me: BREASTaurant

Soooo... what's in the news.

Everyone's going crazy for this new Apple iPad!

Matt: why

why are you doing this

me: I say that pad's not going to absorb any menstrual blood.

Not worth it.

Matt: where's my whiskey...

me: Obama's doing a spending freeze.

Have a heart Mr. President.

Matt: can't... take... much... more

me: It's January!

Send your money to Miami!

Matt: the voices

the voices won't leave

me: Seriously though, you've been a terrible audience.

Just awful.

I'm gonna take a break and go to the bar, but I'll be back in 15.

Matt: the blood

the pain

the horror

Be glad I don't have your gmail address.

9 AM Meeting Official Site is GO

My show, 9 AM Meeting has a new website. Why not check it out?

Hey, I'm the Featured Writer's Profile at Whim Quarterly

Whim Quarterly--the world's quarterliest humor magazine--asked all contributors to fill out a survey adapted from the gripping, must-read social work book of 1917, Social Diagnosis by Mary Ellen Richmond, and as of right now, I am the featured writer. Read my snappy answers to outdated questions over on the Whim website.

The Flop House Episode Fifty-Three is ONLINE

Is this the only time three grown men watched Hannah Montana: The Movie and it wasn't creepy? (Answer: with Stuart involved, it's always a little bit creepy.) We spend more time discussing it than the writers spent writing it. Meanwhile, Dan questions the whole premise of teen-by-day/ pop-starlet-by-night, Stuart redefines topical humor, and Elliott re-imagines the movie as a taut psychological thriller.

0:00 - 0:34 - Introductions and Theme
0:35 - 3:00 - We welcome Elliott back and, for some reason, Stuart wastes time quizzing him and Dan about current events.
3:01 - 37:24 - We discuss Hannah Montana: The Movie, because surely the audience for that picture was white males in their late twenties to early.
37:25 - 40:27 - Final Judgments (Elliott, Stu, and Dan agree - bad, but inoffensive)
40:28 - 53:49- Our longest letters segment yet, resulting in one of our patented vague Flop House contests.
53:50 - 56:49 - A very short sad bastards recommend.
56:50 - 58:14 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Hannah Montana: The Movie

Mr. Whitepants at the UCB Theater this Friday!

...As part of the A-Side/B-Side 1 Year Anniversary Show! In the words of the hosts:

Come celebrate being awesome with us! Against all odds and common decency, we've made it to a year. That's cool, right?

Featuring:
New Exc!tement
Kelly and Greg
Mr. Whitepants

The best and the oddest from three heavy-hitting sketch groups. We bring you the crowd-pleasers you know (A-sides), and the uncensored material you'll never forget (B-sides). Hilarious and strange, come get a look into the minds of sketch comedy's most innovative.

Hosted by Aaron Kheifets (Classy) and James Eason (Mother)

Mr. Whitepants' Comedy Hour
part of "A Side/B Side"
at The Upright Citizen's Brigade Theater
307 W. 26th St. between 8th and 9th Aves.
Manhattan
11pm, Friday, Jan. 22
$5

Mr. Whitepants' Comedy Hour - 1 Year Anniversary Best-Of Show!

Tuesday, January 26th at 8:30 pm at The Magnet Theater (www.magnettheater.com corner of 29th st. at 8th Ave). $5

The Flop House Episode Fifty-Two is ONLINE

If this is Dragonball: Evolution, we'd hate to see Dragonball: Neanderthal (this joke contributed by Milton Berle's secret joke file). Meanwhile, Dan tries to fill Elliott's tiny shoes, Stuart discusses the career of Ernie Hudson, and Nigel sounds 10% smarter than either of them.

0:00 - 0:36 - Introductions and Theme
0:37 - 3:47 - We introduce our guest co-host, Nigel Wood.
3:48 - 29:50 - We discuss 90 minutes of bright colors, loud noises, and disconnected action, in a DVD mislabeled "Dragonball: Evolution."
29:51 - 33:23 - Final Judgments Stu - bad-bad, Nigel bad-bad, Dan - actually kind of enjoyed it
33:24 - 34:30 - Station identification
34:31 - 41:46 - The sad bastards recommend.
45:47 - 45:02 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Dragonball: Evolution