Recycling Center: Rejected Jokes

More jokes that didn't make it to air...

On Sunday night, the legendary New York punk rock club CBGB permanently shut down, with Patti Smith playing the last show. Smith said it was amazing that, all these years later, the walls still had some of their original vomit.

Police in Spain said Sunday that more than 17,000 minks on fur farms in northern Spain were set free overnight, making it the country's worst weasel-related disaster since the Spanish release of "Bio-Dome."

Former US representative Gerry Studds, a Massachusetts Democrat, who was the first openly gay congressman, died this past weekend. His last wish was granted when his funeral was attended by several attractive men, drawn by the sign reading "Studds Event."

A Japanese woman in her 50s gave birth to her own grandchild last year, using an egg from her daughter and sperm from her son-in-law. The results were published in The New England Journal of Ewwwwww.

Courtney Love has reportedly been telling friends that Mel Gibson is her "savior," after he came to her hotel room last year to convince her to go back into rehab. Their story will be told in the upcoming film, "What Skanky Drug-Addled Women Want."

Scientists have discovered that by examining just a few strands of hair can determine whether a person has an eating disorder. Especially if that hair is found between their teeth.

A large number of men in the United States who have married, or intend to marry mail-order brides, are being finding their wives barred from entering the US by a new law intended to give foreign women and the American government more information about the men who place these orders. Way to cock-block, US government!

Bindi Irwin, the 8 year-old daughter of Steve Irwin, is making a new wildlife series for the Discovery Kids. It will be titled "Explore the Natural World that Made Me an Orphan!"

The Vatican has endorsed a new animated film called "John Paul II, the Friend of Humanity," which chronicles the life of the last pontiff, although they wish that the voice of Robin Williams didn’t improvise so much scripture.

In an "open letter" to the media, Madonna defended her adoption of a one-year old Malawian boy, saying that she followed the country's adoption laws and that the she did not take the decision to adopt lightly. Thus, she plans to keep the baby, despite protests from the government, media, and Danny Aiello.