Monday, April 23, 2007

Recycling Center: Rejected Jokes Edition

The rejection never ends...

Animal activists in Serbia are upset by a plan to sedate more than 300 horses stabled at Belgrade's racecourse to keep them calm during a Rolling Stones concert, especially in light of Mick Jagger’s well-publicized claim that wild horses couldn’t drag him away.

This weekend is the White House Correspondents' Association dinner, and Rich Little has been hired to perform. Unfortunately for the White House, he’ll be doing his impression of Steven Colbert.

A 2 and 1/3 inch Faberge chair sold for 2.28 million dollars at Sotheby's on Tuesday, leading onlookers to exclaim, “Man that is one rich mouse.”

A New York City planning subcommittee has opposed a permit for the annual San Gennaro Festival in Little Italy, saying the street fair is too raucous and an inconvenience for residents. Citing similar reasons, the committee also denied a permit to New York City.

A new trend in New York City are "Cuddle Parties," which are drug and alcohol free environments where people meet to explore communication, boundaries, intimacy and nonsexual touch, creating a sensitive new way for guys to get blue balls.

A new fragrance will launched this summer called Coney Island, and will have a combination of smells, including Margarita mix, tequila, chocolate, and caramel, recreating the authentic experience of falling into a real Coney Island dumpster.

An Australian man spent 13 days living underwater in a "biosub," which created oxygen for him from algae that was watered with his recycled urine, and was powered by an exercise bike, which, experts agree, is the best way to smell like urine-soaked algae.

According to a report on global warming by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, the biggest threat to New York City is increased risk of floods, power outages, and being crushed by falling air conditioners.

Plans are underway for a Spider-Man musical on Broadway, with Julie Taymor from the Lion King set to direct and music by Bono and the Edge. A warning to those in the front row: you will get webbed.

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