Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Recycling Center: Rejected Jokes Edition

Turn around, bright eyes...

The former home of Johnny Cash, which is now owned by Barry Gibb of the Bee Gees, burned to the ground Tuesday afternoon after a spark ignited a wood preservative applied to the interior of the lakeside house, leading to a fistfight in the New York Post offices, over whether they should go with the headline “Ring of Fire” or “Disco Inferno.”

Don Imus on Thursday raised nearly 1 million dollars for various charities in the first five hours of his annual radio fundraiser, although few believed him when he claimed the phrase “nappy headed ho’s” actually referred to his charity work with narcoleptic hookers.

A new theme park in England has opened called Dickens World, which dedicated to the author Charles Dickens. It’s no relation to the Dickens World in Amsterdam, which is dedicated to… other things.

A police search of former astronaut Lisa Nowak's car turned up bondage photos on a computer disk, British currency, and pills. Let me get this straight: an astronaut is still storing her bondage photos on disk?

Starting Wednesday, Russia refused to renew the licenses of the last two adoption agencies operating there, effectively preventing Americans from adopting Russian children, although you can still pick them out of a catalogue and marry them.

The North Carolina State Attorney General on Wednesday criticized the "rogue" district attorney who prosecuted the false rape charges against the Duke Lacrosse players, while Jerry Bruckheimer heard the phrase “rogue district attorney” and immediately put a script into development.

IRS officials said this week that Singer Marc Anthony must pay 2.5 million dollars in back taxes or face prosecution, although he has been cleared of regicide in that Julius Ceasar matter.

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