Monday, February 05, 2007

Recycling Center: Rejected Jokes Edition

My failure is your windfall...

A new study suggests that lavender and tea tree oils found in some shampoos, soaps, and lotions can temporarily leave boys with enlarged breasts in rare cases. Thankfully, boys know just what to do when confronted with breasts and lotion.

A woman in Florida claimed Wednesday that she found a razor blade in her McDonald's breakfast sandwich. The manager promised to fire those responsible, after discovering that the sandwich had been served after 10:30 am.

Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe will appear naked in a British stage revival of "Equus,” or, as fans are calling it, “Harry Potter and the Order of the Penis.”

Sidney Sheldon, the best-selling author and the producer of “I Dream of Jeannie,” died this week at the age of 89. In memoriam, a penny was placed over his belly button.

The UN's first female-only peace-keeping contingent, made up of about 100 Indian police officers, arrived in Liberia this week, otherwise known as “Vishnu’s Angels”

A Los Angeles immigration judge who previously denied a gay Mexican man's 2004 asylum bid on the grounds that he could simply conceal his sexual orientation if he returned to Mexico, reversed the decision Tuesday, citing the tragic case of gay mouse Flamboyant Gonzales.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is offering the services of three writers to help Oscar nominees with their speeches. Unfortunately, they’re the writers of Epic Movie.

No comments: