Wednesday, February 28, 2007

In Which I Clarify Our Organization's Dress Code

Many of you have come to me with questions about our company's dress policy. Rather than spend any more time detailing it to individuals, I thought I would send a general memo, detailing appropriate dress for the following month, day-by-day. Please direct any further queries to Katherine (bowl of Twizzlers, near the restroom).


Business Casual Monday
Business Casual Tuesday
Business Casual Wednesday
Business Casual Thursday
Casual Friday

Dressed-up Monday
Ratty Robe Tuesday (telecommuters)
Ratty Sweatshirt Wednesday (laundry day)
Lucky Socks Thursday
Lingere Friday (mandatory)

Dress Like Alan Thicke Monday
Only Sweater-Vests Tuesday
Fu-Manchu Wednesday
Uncle Scrooge Spats Thursday
Pashmina Diaper Friday

Toblerone Earmuffs Monday
Mitten-on-Feet, Sock-on-Hands Tuesday
19th Century Circus Strongman Wednesday
Visible Hernia Thursday
Creature of Energy and Light Friday

And, as always, though we do not work on the weekends, all employees are expected to remain nude, but for a plush shark suit, between the hours of 1:00 am Friday and 6:00 am Monday, and during all sexual intercourse.

Thank you.

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