Friday, November 03, 2006

In Which I Engage in Some Entertaining Japery

Some selections from my upcoming book, Uncle Dan's Rainy-Day Funtime Book of 1001 Jokes to Annoy Your Parent, Guardian, or Babysitter, 2006 Fisherman's Almanac:


Q: What did the fat man say after winning the top trophy at the pie-eating contest?

A: "To compete is its own reward."


Q: Why did the blonde scientist throw her clock out the window?

A: To test Einstein's theory of space-time... It was the window of a spaceship, traveling near a black hole. Very dangerous experiment. Unfortunately the results were inconclusive, since they were unable to retrieve the clock.


Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who sits on a street corner?

A: That man is an honored veteran of our armed forces. Please, give generously, even if it is merely pocket change.


Q: How many Picts does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None. You see, the Picts were a loose confederation of Scottish tribes, existing between the Roman times and the 10th century, and the earliest lightbulb was not developed until 1801. Thus, a Pict could not have screwed in a lightbulb.


Q: What is the difference between a banana and a bottle of arsenic?

A: I don't know! That's why I've never been able to successfully raise monkeys!

1 comment:

josh said...

oh, the antijoke. my favorite kind of joke, for I am not funny.