If You're Bored of Me

It's not personal news, but I wanted to give a couple of plugs to some certified F.O.D.'s.

First off, if you're in NYC, you should pick up a copy of Metro, one of the many free dailies that accompany bored subway riders on their daily commutes. Why? (Other than the thrilling expose on how men want to sleep with Jessica Alba?) Because Elliot Kalan, associate producer on The Daily Show and host of The New Kalan Show (formerly "The Midnight Kalan," on which I had the pleasure of appearing, for the "Night of Stallone" show) is now contributing a weekly column. And today is the kick-off piece. According to insider sources (read: Elliott), the column should appear every Friday hereafter. So rejoice, commuters! Three minutes of your day just got a lot more interesting!

Also: what has Sara Schaefer been doing, since the shuttering of Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You? She's been doing some solo performances around the city (the SSIOWY staff got together for a mini-reunion to enjoy her act at Variety Underground a couple of weeks ago). I'd like to highlight one particular performance: her upcoming appearance at The Rejection Show.

The Rejection Show
February 7th @ 8:30PM, $10
Mo Pitkin's House of Satisfaction
34 Avenue A (2nd and 3rd St.)
Tickets available in advance via Ticketweb.com or call or visit the Mo Pitkin's box office at (212) 777-5660
F or V to Second Ave.
Other people presenting rejections: Michael Showalter (Stella, The State, The Baxter), Peter Hyman (The Reluctant Metrosexual, Spin Magazine), and New Yorker Cartoonists!

Sara will be presenting a rejected Channel 102 pilot, which, as a bonus for the Whither Laffs reader, features about 30 seconds of me. See the music video where I took an ostensibly comedic pratfall, the scar from which I can still see on my shoulder.

Hooray for friends. Woo woo.

Breaking News Sure to Bring the Utmost Excitement!

I have just been tapped to contribute a bit to famed Daily Show production assistant Elliott Kalan's excellent unscripted late-night talk show The Midnight Kalan!

This will be the LAST Midnight Kalan at Juvie Hall before the theater shuts down for good.

What lies ahead for Elliott in the New Year? God only knows. Well, we do have some clues-- according to his website, there will be "coming in 2006: Elliott Kalan's Untitled Comedy Event Talk Show." Intriguing.

But that's in THE FUTURE. What does Elliott have on tap for the final show? Again, we consult the official word from his website:

"A NIGHT WITH STALLONE"

Midnight Kalan goes out with a Sylvester-Stallone-fueled bang!

December 16 at 12 AM.
Tickets ONLY $5, and each ticket entitles you to 1 slice of pizza and 8 oz. of soda.
24 Bond Street (Under the Gene Frankel Theater) (Between Bowery and Lafayette)

Can you afford to miss it?

In Which Dan Announces the New Issue of Ducts, and Plugs Someone Else's Show

I hope everyone had a good Independence Day, and celebrated by telling the corpse of George III exactly where he could stick it.

The new issue of Ducts, the webzine for which I am "Humor Editor," is now online. I put humor editor in quotes, because working for Ducts is an approximately one hour a month job, sorting through and soliciting submissions via email, and choosing which ones go up on the site. And for that, I get to be called Editor. What a marvelous country we live in. There should be a holiday celebrating it-- perhaps in early July somewhere.

I'd like to call extra attention to this piece by my good friend and former editor of Jest Magazine, Ritch Duncan. Also, I'd like to direct you to my own contribution to this issue. It's my shortest one yet! Hooray!

Why so short, Dan? Well, maybe it's because I was working on many of the illustrations that adorn the issue, illustrations that undoubtably would've looked a lot better had I been paid more. Publisher, take note.

Oh, and I don't usually mention other people's stuff (they have their own damn blogs: see my links for reference), but if you get a chance you should stop by Elliott Kalan's show, The Midnight Kalan, at Juvie Hall. Sure it's on alternate Fridays at Midnight, which makes it hard to catch, but the $3 ticket price includes a delicious slice of pizza, and it's the best and wackiest unscripted live talk show in New York... and I'm not just saying this because I had the honor of playing the part of "drunk Sara Schaefer, audience heckler" at the last performance, despite not having Sara's gams. (For a description of episode eight, the first Midnight Kalan I had the honor of seeing, read The Midnight Blog.)