The Flop House: Episode #35 is ONLINE

Sometimes even the best of intentions, combined with a deep and abiding religious faith, can still result in a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad movie. We watch Fireproof. Meanwhile, Elliott reveals why he's so easily amused, Stuart reminisces about a nacho altercation, and Dan talks like a little girl (intentionally this time).

0:00 - 0:35 - Introduction and theme.
0:36 - 29:03 - We are way, way too soft on Fireproof, in order to avoid ticking off our vast audience of evangelical listeners.
29:04 - 35:26 - Final judgments.
35:27 - 44:39 - A letter from a listener illuminates important Flop House guidelines.
44:40 - 55:09 - The sad bastards recommend.
55:10 - 57:34 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Fireproof

The Flop House Movie Minute #23 - Twisted Trailers 3: Your Sister is a Werewolf

Even more trailers for upcoming films.

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The Flop House: Episode #34 - Mirrors

We watch Kiefer Sutherland in Mirrors. We mean the movie-- we didn't break into his bathroom or anything. Meanwhile, Elliott pitches a crypt keeper movie, Dan inadvertently casts Dean Martin in his greatest role ever, and Stuart has a little problem comprehending the film's ending.

0:00 - 0:38 - Introduction and theme.
0:39 - 30:46 - Is Mirrors scarier or less scary than any other horror film starring an inanimate object?
30:47 - 33:46 - Final judgments.
33:47 - 43:35 - Letters from listeners and a window into Dan's low self esteem.
43:36 - 49:25 - The sad bastards recommend.
49:26 - 50:11 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Mirrors

This Sunday!

a sketch show
@ The Magnet Theater
254 W. 29th Street, NY, NY
March 29, 6:30 PM, $5

Rejected From Rejected TONIGHT.

Come eat free cupcakes and hear me read. And check out this short write-up here.

Come See Me Read Tomorrow (3/25)

The Rejection Show presents:
REJECTED FROM REJECTED

Wednesday, March 25, 2009
7:30pm - 9:30pm
Housing Works Book Store
126 Crosby Street
New York, NY
(Map)








Featuring pieces that were, for whatever reason, left out, declined, removed, and rejected from the recently released, critically acclaimed book, Rejected: Tales of the Failed, Dumped, and Canceled. --For established fans and/or new fans of the book, the show will also feature readings/performances from some of the book’s actual contributors.

AND live music from Erin & Her Cello!
http://www.myspace.com/erinandhercello

FREE "Rejection" CUPCAKES courtesy of http://www.lifeinapeanutshell.com

'Rejected from Rejected' is a uniquely fun, entertaining, funny, and insightful night filled with rejects of rejection and accepted rejection from rejects in the book REJECTED (or something like that).

FREE!

The Flop House Movie Minute #22 - Extended Outtakes

Since people seem to enjoy the outtakes, here's an extended peek behind the Flop House curtain and last week's episode, with even more talk of Demon Knight and other topics.

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The Flop House: Episode #33 - An American Carol

Due to outside circumstances, we had no time to post show notes (or, for that matter, edit the show beyond adding the theme/ introduction/ outtakes) this week. But enjoy the episode.

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The Watchmen Pornographic Parody No One Wants to See

In honor of Watchmen's release, I re-post this, the crudest and dumbest PhotoShop gag I've ever done:

The Flop House Movie Minute #21 - Who Watches the Watchmen's Penises?

Turns out it's Whoopi Goldberg.

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9 AM Meeting: Episode One - Apple Picking

Check out this video I did. It's the first in a series (provided that boredom and laziness don't prevent me from putting out more).



Production/ editing/ illustration/ music by me. Writing and voice work by me and Matt Koff.

Academy Awards Flopstacular 2009!

WARNING AND APOLOGY: Our Floptacular episodes must be cursed. Last year's Academy Awards show featured a nearly inaudible Elliott, and this time around Stuart's mic appears to have gone dead -- and we somehow managed to overlook this until editing time. We've done our best to "fix it in post," but it's still highly noticeable. Luckily, Stu's a rather laconic fellow anyway. We've made a real effort to increase our sound quality over the last 20 shows, so we're embarrassed that this one had issues. Please bear with us, and we'll do our best to keep this from happening again.

Anyway...

We discuss the Academy Awards, one of only eighteen nights of the year when Hollywood takes some time out of its busy schedule to honor itself. Meanwhile, Elliott takes us on a tour of old-time character actor impressions, Dan covers the Flop House red carpet, and Stuart is nearly inaudible.

0:00 - 0:26 - Theme
0:27 - 45:34 - We discuss the Oscars. Oh surely the skies will be dark tonight as all the stars are in Hollywood's Kodak Theater!
45:35 - 55:35 - Letters from listeners.
55:36 - 56:39 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes

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We promised links to the websites of listeners Chuck and Jen Lastnamewithheld, and here they are.

Here's the gay cowboy montage that Elliott co-produced for the 2005 Oscars:

Big News

The Flop House Movie Minute #20 - Pool Cleaning

Clean up in your Oscar pool the scientific way!

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The Flop House Episode Thirty-One is ONLINE!

What happens when a movie that feels like it was written in 1984, and was inspired by the 2000 election, is made in 2008? You get Swing Vote. Meanwhile, Dan reveals an uncomfortable new use for tweed, Elliott explains his new game show, and Will busts out the world's most accurate Paul Schrader impression.

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.
0:33 - 3:41 - We introduce guest host extraordinaire Will Hines.
3:42 - 33:37 - What happens when the American election comes down to JUST ONE VOTE? Wait. You say that would never happen? Shit. Then what are we gonna do about this Swing Vote movie? I guess we should just make fun of it.
33:38 - 38:23 - Final judgments. Plus: the weirdest joke ever to appear on The Flop House.
38:24 - 51:09 - Letters from listeners.
51:10 - 58:26 - The sad bastards recommend.
58:27 - 59:17 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Swing Vote

Incidentally, here's the short video mentioned during the podcast. Dan wrote it well before Swing Vote, but it covers basically the same premise in 1/60th the time (and it co-stars Elliott as the alien newscaster and former Flop House guest co-host Sara Schaefer as the non-toaster candidate).



And while we're posting videos, here's Dan and this week's guest host Will Hines in their first meeting. Will plays the 2nd employee Dan fires:

Forgotten Pulp Novels

The Building Superintendent Wore Red

I Was a Talent Scout for Death

The Meter Maid Walked by Night

Her Bust Cut Like Ice

Black is My Poodle's Heart

Shotgun Explosion at Pistol Point

A Killing Day in Murderton

She Only Loves Bearer Bonds

Two Tickets to Lust, Seat Assignment: COACH

Happy Friday the 13th!

I will be celebrating it by slaughtering you, after the audience watches you disrobe.

Valentine Advice From a Friend

My friend Frank Lesser wrote this helpful relationship guide to getting along with your genie, just in time for Valentine's Day. Why don't you run over to Slate and check it out?

The Flop House Movie Minute #19 - Oscar Bait

We make up for our lost movie minute with our longest supplemental episode yet, about how the Oscars are always wrong.

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The Flop House: Episode #30 - Bangkok Dangerous

Can a film combining a hit man, an elephant, and incredible ham Nic Cage possibly be boring? You might be surprised. Yeah. We watched Bangkok Dangerous. Meanwhile, Elliott lists some little-known mob films, Stuart admires the Sarlaac's chops, and Dan reveals the two words that will get him to see any movie.

0:00 - 0:31 - Introduction and theme
0:32 - 22:00 - Watch out for Nicholas Cage. That motherfucker is BANGKOK Dangerous.
22:01 - 34:35 - We get bored of talking about Bangkok Dangerous, and quickly digress into talk of AVP2, pornography, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Zombie Strippers, Return of the Jedi, and Hitman (with a little more Bangkok Dangerous thrown in as anti-spice)
34:36 - 39:28 - Final judgments
39:30 - 46:59 - Letters from listeners.
47:00 - 52:35- The sad bastards recommend.
52:36 - 53:54 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes

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Wikipedia synopsis of Bangkok Dangerous