Tuesday, May 05, 2009

The Return of Gchat Theater

[Curtain parts.  Dan McCoy sits at his computer, Google chatting with his friend Jack Kukoda]

  Those hams are fixin' to catch up a mess 'o fish!
 Jack: hahahaha
 me: Then I imagine they'll fry those fish up in their own squeezings.
 Jack: i love it
  where do you find these?
 me: I saw some review of it on website about new books.
  Apparently it's the 2nd in a series.I can't imagine that the premise can sustain much longer.
 Jack: and it's spelled "squeezins'"
 Jack: no "g"
 me: True.
 Apparently, they're two little girls who fell into the machinery at a canned ham factory.
  Which, of course, turned them into anthropomorphic hams.
 Jack: no way
 me: You read about it in the news all the time.
  But when it happens to young girls...
 Jack: my god
 that's just asking for kids to throw themselves into ham cannery machinery
  while on field trips to ham canneries
 Jack: my god
what were these girls doing in a ham cannery?
  i will give them credit for maintaining a positive outlook on life
  seeing as how they have their whole lives ahead of them
  with no chance of finding a husband or giving birth
  due to them being hams
 me: Well, I imagine they're beyond petty human concerns now.
  Being hams.
 Jack: yes
  they have the sageness that comes with being a ham
 they've transcended their human forms
 me: also the oraganoness
 Jack: you win
 me: BOOM
 Jack: although you misspelled oregano
 me: Damn me.
  Were I a ham, I'd know better.

1 comment:

Jen said...

Dan, that link is terrifying. If any hams show up in my nightmares, you're getting email.