Monday, September 26, 2005

The Greatest Sketch in the History of Time

This was a collaborative effort between me, Devon T. Coleman, and Brock Mahan; and it is, as the title suggests, the greatest sketch in the history of time...

'SCOPE MOUTHWASH TRIAL" by devon, brock, & dan

HISTORIAN
Hello. I'm a Historian. This year marks the 80th anniversary of the Scopes Monkey Trial-- but very little attention is paid to the trial that happened immediately after: The Scope Mouthwash Trial. Let's go there now. You know. Not really. Through the magic of reenactment. Which is also not actual magic.

INT. COURT

PROSECUTOR enters. SCOPE sits on the stand.

PROSECUTOR
Scope Mouthwash, is it true that you are intelligently designed to reduce plaque and leave people's mouths feeling fresh?

SCOPE
Yes, yes I was.

PROSECUTOR
I rest my case.

JUDGE bangs his gavel.

JUDGE
Scope Mouthwash, I hereby find you guilty of promoting good dental hygiene. And sentence you to be used after every meal. Case dismissed!

BACK TO:
THE HISTORIAN

THE HISTORIAN
This was the most significant mouthwash trial since the Listerine Baby Kidnapping. For me, I'm a historian.

DOCTOR enters.

DOCTOR
Poor Historian. He used to be not crazy.

THE HISTORIAN
There's a history of mental illness in my family.

SFX: MUTED TRUMPET (Wah wah wah waaaaaaaah)

Doctor takes out his cell phone.

DOCTOR
Sorry, I gotta take this.
(beat)
Historian, it's the governor! Good news, you're not crazy anymore!

THE HISTORIAN
Hooray!

Doctor and The Historian high five.

END OF SKETCH.

Yes, my friends, you have now read the greatest sketch in the history of time. Try to keep living, knowing that your joy will never be topped.

3 comments:

Rob Bates said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Rob Bates said...

The weird cellphone really put this over the top.

Maybe it could be a runner.

DTC said...

He's right. It did put it over the top. From funny to hilarious.