Fry Her? I Hardly Know... eh, forget it.

So Jest's esteemed editor, Frank Santopadre, arranged for the core writers, designers, and assorted hangers-on to have a little sit-down to talk about the future of Jest as a website. It's not my place to go into any details just yet, but let it be known that I'm excited. What I've seen has a lot of potential, and we could easily reach a much larger audience than ever before. Plus, I'll have a chance to get more material out there (probably on a weekly basis) and that'll be nice.

Anyway, if I can't say anything about Jest, then why am I posting now? Well, the meeting was at the New York Friars Club, and getting to be a guest there was a neat experience. You walk in to the club, and the first thing you see are paintings of Henny Youngman and George Burns, and that kind of says it all. We had a few drinks in the Celebrity Bar (and I saved my Friars Club swizzle sticks as a souvenir). Frank knew all the folks that worked there, and I definitely understood the appeal of belonging to a private club-- it's like stepping into a P.G. Woodehouse story (well, less British, and more showbiz-y, but you know what I mean). After the meeting we had a brief chance to see a little bit of the rest of the club (Frank: Do you want to see the Milton Berle room? Me: Is it as big as I hear?) and it was y'know... cool. Have I made it clear that it was cool? Oh, and we passed Dennis Farina going in, which was a kick. I always enjoy him.

In other news, I have discovered how to access the statistics that track visitors to my site, and have learned some disturbing things:

81.1% of visitors stay for less than 5 seconds.
The second-largest percentage, 8.1%, stay for an hour or more.

I don't know what's more distressing-- that the overwhelming majority can't be bothered to read the site for more than 1/12 of a minute, or that some people are reading what is essentially a collection of self-plugs and calendar dates for hours on end.

Also: many people come to the site because there's a guy at Pixar named Dan McCoy. I've caught his name in Pixar credits before, but didn't guess that he'd accidentally draw people (part of that 81.1-less-than-five-second-percentage, no doubt) to my site. And I guess he'll be drawing more, now that I've used the word Pixar three times. Pixar.

Anyway, if he ever self-googles and reads this site, let it be known that I think you do good work, Pixar-Dan-McCoy. Top notch stuff, really. Fuck Dreamworks.

The most unusual visit came as a result of a search for "nude Kim Cattrall." I can only assume that this is because I made an offhand reference making fun of Mannequin in my TV listings reviewer humor piece. What I find odd, though, is that someone would get here because of that one reference, considering how often Kim Cattrall has taken off her clothes. I mean, starting way back in Porky's, that's pretty much been her M.O., hasn't it? And I don't mean to slam Kim Cattrall. I loathe Sex in the City, but I do think it shows that she's a pretty talented light comic actress. Plus, I'm certainly not against women doing nude scenes. Basically, what I'm saying is that if you're looking for a naked Kim Cattrall through my blog, you're doing things the hard way.

God... again, now I'm going to have more people looking for naked pictures, through my blog. Stupid keywords. Not that I mind the traffic, I just can't bear the thought of disappointing all those poor misguided porn hounds.

Oh well. Keep looking, guys! I'm sure you'll eventually find something to get off to. I have faith in you!