The Return of Gchat Theater

What do comedy writers do with their day? They spend most if it irritating each other with deliberately bad jokes. To wit:

Matt: I hear it's restaurant week.

me: I hear it's BREASTaurant week.

Hubba hubba!

Matt: You don't hear that.

You just wanted to type "breast."

me: BREASTaurant

Soooo... what's in the news.

Everyone's going crazy for this new Apple iPad!

Matt: why

why are you doing this

me: I say that pad's not going to absorb any menstrual blood.

Not worth it.

Matt: where's my whiskey...

me: Obama's doing a spending freeze.

Have a heart Mr. President.

Matt: can't... take... much... more

me: It's January!

Send your money to Miami!

Matt: the voices

the voices won't leave

me: Seriously though, you've been a terrible audience.

Just awful.

I'm gonna take a break and go to the bar, but I'll be back in 15.

Matt: the blood

the pain

the horror

Be glad I don't have your gmail address.

9 AM Meeting Official Site is GO

My show, 9 AM Meeting has a new website. Why not check it out?

Hey, I'm the Featured Writer's Profile at Whim Quarterly

Whim Quarterly--the world's quarterliest humor magazine--asked all contributors to fill out a survey adapted from the gripping, must-read social work book of 1917, Social Diagnosis by Mary Ellen Richmond, and as of right now, I am the featured writer. Read my snappy answers to outdated questions over on the Whim website.

The Flop House Episode Fifty-Three is ONLINE

Is this the only time three grown men watched Hannah Montana: The Movie and it wasn't creepy? (Answer: with Stuart involved, it's always a little bit creepy.) We spend more time discussing it than the writers spent writing it. Meanwhile, Dan questions the whole premise of teen-by-day/ pop-starlet-by-night, Stuart redefines topical humor, and Elliott re-imagines the movie as a taut psychological thriller.

0:00 - 0:34 - Introductions and Theme
0:35 - 3:00 - We welcome Elliott back and, for some reason, Stuart wastes time quizzing him and Dan about current events.
3:01 - 37:24 - We discuss Hannah Montana: The Movie, because surely the audience for that picture was white males in their late twenties to early.
37:25 - 40:27 - Final Judgments (Elliott, Stu, and Dan agree - bad, but inoffensive)
40:28 - 53:49- Our longest letters segment yet, resulting in one of our patented vague Flop House contests.
53:50 - 56:49 - A very short sad bastards recommend.
56:50 - 58:14 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Hannah Montana: The Movie

Mr. Whitepants at the UCB Theater this Friday!

...As part of the A-Side/B-Side 1 Year Anniversary Show! In the words of the hosts:

Come celebrate being awesome with us! Against all odds and common decency, we've made it to a year. That's cool, right?

Featuring:
New Exc!tement
Kelly and Greg
Mr. Whitepants

The best and the oddest from three heavy-hitting sketch groups. We bring you the crowd-pleasers you know (A-sides), and the uncensored material you'll never forget (B-sides). Hilarious and strange, come get a look into the minds of sketch comedy's most innovative.

Hosted by Aaron Kheifets (Classy) and James Eason (Mother)

Mr. Whitepants' Comedy Hour
part of "A Side/B Side"
at The Upright Citizen's Brigade Theater
307 W. 26th St. between 8th and 9th Aves.
Manhattan
11pm, Friday, Jan. 22
$5

Mr. Whitepants' Comedy Hour - 1 Year Anniversary Best-Of Show!

Tuesday, January 26th at 8:30 pm at The Magnet Theater (www.magnettheater.com corner of 29th st. at 8th Ave). $5

The Flop House Episode Fifty-Two is ONLINE

If this is Dragonball: Evolution, we'd hate to see Dragonball: Neanderthal (this joke contributed by Milton Berle's secret joke file). Meanwhile, Dan tries to fill Elliott's tiny shoes, Stuart discusses the career of Ernie Hudson, and Nigel sounds 10% smarter than either of them.

0:00 - 0:36 - Introductions and Theme
0:37 - 3:47 - We introduce our guest co-host, Nigel Wood.
3:48 - 29:50 - We discuss 90 minutes of bright colors, loud noises, and disconnected action, in a DVD mislabeled "Dragonball: Evolution."
29:51 - 33:23 - Final Judgments Stu - bad-bad, Nigel bad-bad, Dan - actually kind of enjoyed it
33:24 - 34:30 - Station identification
34:31 - 41:46 - The sad bastards recommend.
45:47 - 45:02 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Press the play button above to listen to this episode
Download Mp3

Paste theflophouse.libsyn.com/rss into iTunes (or your favorite podcatching software) to have new episodes of The Flop House delivered to you directly, as they're released.









Wikipedia synopsis of Dragonball: Evolution

Mr. Whitepants Returns to the Creek TONIGHT!

Why not celebrate the fact that you didn't get alcohol poisoning on New Year's by coming out to our sketch show tonight?

Mr. Whitepants' Comedy Hour at The Creek in Long Island City 10-93 Jackson Ave. Queens 6pm, Saturday, Jan. 2 Free!














Here's a picture of one of the many sketches we won't be performing tonight!