"Fruit Talk" With Dan & Ritch

Ritch's new status message - Honeydew melon is the scourge of the fruit salad.

me: And how.

Ritch: I had thought that citrus was the worst, but when they just layer the bottom with honeydew, then throw a kiwi, a few blueberry and a grape on top you're getting hosed.

me: You figure honeydew is a cheap crop?

I guess it has to be.

The way they throw it around.

Seems weird though, since all melons have to take up a lot of space.

Ritch: right

me: Honeydew is like someone soaked some Styrofoam in rose water.

Ritch: It's not bad, but I'm not buying a whole tub of it

now cataloupe, there's a difffernt story

me: That's your money melon.

Ritch: amen to that

The watermelon enjoys far too lofty a status.

me: Agreed.

It's just a lot of lightly sweetened liquid in a marginal melon shell.

And everyone's so excited about it, in the summer.

Plus: too big.

Never seen any picnic go through an entire melon.

Let's get on that, science.

Ritch: All very true

the big sell on watermelon- "lets carve a hole in it and pour vodka in it!"

me: Yeah.

And really, couldn't you do that with nearly anything?

I know it works with me.

Ritch: That's throwing good after bad, that's what that is

me: Sans carving the hole.

I come pre-holed.

Everything-- improved by vodka!

Ritch: There's your memoir:

"Dan McCoy: Preholed"

Mango is pretty good

it never really gets involved in the whole melon debate

and I know, it might not technically be a melon, but it deserves discussion in that family

me: Oh, man.

A mango?

Fantastic.

Ritch: It beats the pants off watermelon, that's for sure.

You ever hear of watermelon salsa?

Hell no.

Watermelon chutney?

Never

People act like watermelon is great by adding the word "fresh"

WOW- fresh watermelon?

That's the only way to eat it.

And, it tastes like water, and is a borderline racial epithet

me: Yeah, fuck that melon.

(not literally)

Ritch: It might be pretty good for that, actually.

I mean, melonwise.

Actually, that might be where the honeydew comes back into play

me: This has been "Fruit Talk" with Dan and Ritch.

Ritch: I like it

Tune in tomorrow for "Cherries: Why don't we eat them more?"

me: The answer may surprise you.