Tuesday, November 18, 2008

"Fruit Talk" With Dan & Ritch

Ritch's new status message - Honeydew melon is the scourge of the fruit salad.

me: And how.
Ritch: I had thought that citrus was the worst, but when they just layer the bottom with honeydew, then throw a kiwi, a few blueberry and a grape on top you're getting hosed.

me: You figure honeydew is a cheap crop?
I guess it has to be.
The way they throw it around.
Seems weird though, since all melons have to take up a lot of space.

Ritch: right

me: Honeydew is like someone soaked some Styrofoam in rose water.

Ritch: It's not bad, but I'm not buying a whole tub of it
now cataloupe, there's a difffernt story

me: That's your money melon.

Ritch: amen to that
The watermelon enjoys far too lofty a status.

me: Agreed.
It's just a lot of lightly sweetened liquid in a marginal melon shell.
And everyone's so excited about it, in the summer.
Plus: too big.
Never seen any picnic go through an entire melon.
Let's get on that, science.

Ritch: All very true
the big sell on watermelon- "lets carve a hole in it and pour vodka in it!"

me: Yeah.
And really, couldn't you do that with nearly anything?
I know it works with me.

Ritch: That's throwing good after bad, that's what that is

me: Sans carving the hole.
I come pre-holed.
Everything-- improved by vodka!

Ritch: There's your memoir:
"Dan McCoy: Preholed"
Mango is pretty good
it never really gets involved in the whole melon debate
and I know, it might not technically be a melon, but it deserves discussion in that family

me: Oh, man.
A mango?

Ritch: It beats the pants off watermelon, that's for sure.
You ever hear of watermelon salsa?
Hell no.
Watermelon chutney?
People act like watermelon is great by adding the word "fresh"
WOW- fresh watermelon?
That's the only way to eat it.
And, it tastes like water, and is a borderline racial epithet

me: Yeah, fuck that melon.
(not literally)

Ritch: It might be pretty good for that, actually.
I mean, melonwise.
Actually, that might be where the honeydew comes back into play

me: This has been "Fruit Talk" with Dan and Ritch.

Ritch: I like it
Tune in tomorrow for "Cherries: Why don't we eat them more?"

me: The answer may surprise you.