When Comedians Chat

Eli: the creator of LSD died today

me: He was eaten by an alligator-headed unicorn.

Eli: his last words were "it smells like purple"

c'mon, let's keep it going

his funeral will be held at the local planetarium accompanied by a Pink Floyd laser show

me: When asked how they'd pay for his funeral, relatives said "Put it on his tab."

Eli: nice

funeral goers are advised NOT to lick the program

me: The cemetery has added security to prevent people from eating the mushrooms growing on his grave.

His last words were, "I hear a white light."

(long pause)

me:

The only ones I can think of now are really stupid, like "Zombie-fearing undertakers have locked the casket to avoid acid reflux."

More than a stretch.

I need to be a joke Mr. Fantastic to stretch enough to make that work.

Eli: yeah, another one i had was "his final words were 'i finally get 2001"

but i thought that was a stretch too

me: Well, we've scientifically proven how many jokes this news story has in it.

Six.

>hangs lab coat on hook<

Time for lunch!

Eli: oh, science. is there anything you can't prove?