Monday, October 01, 2007

Recycling Center: Rejected Jokes Edition

The joke submitting season begins anew, and another crop of jokes withers and dies, to be reborn on my poorly-read blog...

Marcel Marceau, the world famous French mime, died this week at the age of 84, after a long battle with invisible walls.

China has banned "sexually provocative sounds" on television. Bad news for their hit show, “Squish Squish Moan Squirt.”

The Los Angeles City Attorney has filed hit and run charges against Britney Spears relating to in an incident in August, although her defense attorney argued that Britney hasn’t had a hit in years.

A new report says that there are now fewer gay characters on television than in previous years with only seven characters on the five broadcast networks, six of which were Rosie O’Donnell.

According to a new bill introduced in Congress, airlines would be required to set aside a place within the cabin where parents could seat their children out of range of PG-13 or R-rated movies shown on overhead screens. Also according to that bill: YOU will be seated directly in front of those children.

Columbia University's president sparked a controversy this week when he defended Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's appearance on campus by saying that he would also have allowed Hitler to speak to the students – a stance that seems less brave, when you consider that Hitler would address the crowd in German, and is also a corpse.

NASA's chief said Monday that the space agency plans to put a man on Mars by 2037. And, with luck, that man will be Dick Cheney.

In a rare trip outside the National Archives, the Emancipation Proclamation is on display for four days in Little Rock, prompting a few residents to say, “Lincoln did what now?”

According to a new study, germs such as salmonella that go into space on a rocket, come back to Earth stronger and deadlier… which is why experts recommend never eating a chicken salad sandwich that’s been to space and back on a rocket.

Google has blocked a bid to trademark the name "JewTube," because it sounds too similar to their YouTube video sharing site. Business analysts were not surprised that the bid was cut short, as they had predicted that any JewTube would be circumcised.

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