Monday Japery

It's Monday, so here, as promised, are three news jokes.

A Pentagon investigation into complaints that evangelical Christians at the Air Force Academy have bullied Jews found no overt discrimination, but "certainly insensitivity," military officials said Wednesday. Some of the worst examples of this insensitivity included shotgunning the glass of wine left for Elijah; and, of course, the "Spring Swastacular."

Some schools are now offering cash and prizes, including pizza and parking spots, to students who report classmates who carry guns, alcohol, or drugs. Unsurprisingly, several potheads have turned themselves in for pizza.

The American Film Institute released its list of the top-100 movie quotes recently. Taking top honors was the famous line, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn," from Gone With the Wind. Good dialogue-- but I, for one, am shocked that they neglected Showgirls' immortal line, "It must be weird, not having anyone cum on you."